Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think sick colleague should be at home

50 replies

CountrycottageSusie · 07/01/2025 13:33

I work in an open plan office with 10 other people. One of my colleagues had been off yesterday and then came in today. They said they had been really unwell over the weekend, temperature chills etc and had tonsillitis they day before and started antibiotics yesterday, they look quite sick and have been coughing and sniffing all morning, just feel they shouldn't be in the office, im worried ill get sick too and I have little kids. AIBU to think they should have stayed home another day or two while they are on antibiotics?

OP posts:
MummyJ36 · 11/01/2025 17:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

pinderpoo · 11/01/2025 18:00

I have people like this where I work and I’m sick to death of it. This “power through” mentality. No! You’re infecting everyone!! Someone I work with was ill, she went home early. She mentioned she feels guilty for letting everyone down for not coming in. She came in the next day again and got sent home early AGAIN!! Sorry but you’ve left us short now (work in leisure) and it’s too late to cover you’re shift! So frustrating.

Niknakcake · 11/01/2025 18:07

What’s the policy on sickness at work? Have they been off recently? I’ve been known to go to work when I’m not well… today infact… because I was unfortunate enough to get a sickness bug a few months ago and then a chest infection the month after. So now they are monitoring my attendance and any more sickness will mean I face a stage 2 investigation.

this kind of thing puts people off calling in sick

Horserider5678 · 11/01/2025 18:21

CosyLemur · 11/01/2025 17:52

The NHS has a shocking sick policy - my cousin had to attend a disciplinary meeting for her attendance during COVID when her 3 kids caught it in succession so she legally had to isolate 3 times!

Rubbish I’m a senior sister in the NHS! No was disciplined during covid for being off sick or having to isolate! The NHS has the most generous sickness policy in that you get sick pay from day one. This is why sickness is through the roof in it!

CupOfMoon · 11/01/2025 18:24

Turning up to work like that is inconsiderate and selfish - even more so when she has the option not to.

People come up with every excuse under the sun as to why they're special and couldn't possibly be expected to stay away but the fact is, it's just as difficult for the colleagues they will pass their bugs on to.

I'm a lone parent, I could do without the risk to my income and the potential for absence triggers but I'm sure my colleagues with their own financial worries, vulnerable family members etc. have just as many reasons why staying in work is important to them - which is why I'd never show up when I'm clearly unwell.

Guitaryah · 11/01/2025 18:26

Where i work we can all work from home, we are gently nudged to be in office a few days a week, but it's absolutely fine to work from home whenever you want especially if have something like this. It is different if people have to take time off or whatever, but if it's an option to not go in its selfish imo

MrsB74 · 11/01/2025 18:58

CosyLemur · 11/01/2025 17:52

The NHS has a shocking sick policy - my cousin had to attend a disciplinary meeting for her attendance during COVID when her 3 kids caught it in succession so she legally had to isolate 3 times!

The policy is like that because so many staff took the absolute piss with sick leave when they removed the controls. Some are off so often with sickness bugs because they know they have to stay off for at least 48 hours. I was shocked when I joined the NHS at how bad it was/is. It ruins it for those who are genuinely unwell/struggling with sick children. That said good managers will know who the piss takers are and who are genuine.

Flipflop223 · 11/01/2025 20:02

CountrycottageSusie · 07/01/2025 13:33

I work in an open plan office with 10 other people. One of my colleagues had been off yesterday and then came in today. They said they had been really unwell over the weekend, temperature chills etc and had tonsillitis they day before and started antibiotics yesterday, they look quite sick and have been coughing and sniffing all morning, just feel they shouldn't be in the office, im worried ill get sick too and I have little kids. AIBU to think they should have stayed home another day or two while they are on antibiotics?

If they are on antibiotics then it’s bacterial and not contagious?

backwayentrance · 11/01/2025 20:03

oharibo · 07/01/2025 13:38

If they can productively work from home then yes absolutely they should have stayed home.

Many people do have this mindset that they just carry on regardless. My SIL caught a vomiting bug and went to the hairdressers - had to leave the chair twice to be sick.

Equally if they can't work from home and they feel up to it then I don't blame them for going in

Let me guess… you generally can’t stand your SIL and the feeling is mutual?!

Sinkintotheswamp · 11/01/2025 20:05

Yanbu. Plague-y people need to keep away from me. I don't have time to be ill.

AliciaSoo · 11/01/2025 20:07

I mean... Coughing and tonsillitis and antibiotics? Something doesn't add up!

PrioritisePleasure24 · 11/01/2025 20:20

AliciaSoo · 11/01/2025 20:07

I mean... Coughing and tonsillitis and antibiotics? Something doesn't add up!

why?? tonsillitis can be bacterial, if you have a swollen/sore/dry throat you can be coughing too.

Tisthedamnseason · 11/01/2025 20:20

oharibo · 07/01/2025 13:38

If they can productively work from home then yes absolutely they should have stayed home.

Many people do have this mindset that they just carry on regardless. My SIL caught a vomiting bug and went to the hairdressers - had to leave the chair twice to be sick.

Equally if they can't work from home and they feel up to it then I don't blame them for going in

Selfish cow

HellofromJohnCraven · 11/01/2025 20:44

If they can work from home, there is no excuse.

Howtohelpbirds · 11/01/2025 21:08

The thing is, even if you can wfh, not every company or manager is cool with you taking that privilege on random days that aren't scheduled as wfh.
Just randomly taking the whole week at home because ill, is exactly what I want to do when I'm ill. I'm not of the power through mind at all and I honestly don't want to go anywhere if not well.

However, we are sometimes forced into that mindset by others. In my experience it is genuinely frowned upon to call in sick for a cold, or anything that isn't keeping you completely tied to your bed.

I catch colds quite regularly, and when I've worked from home because of it, people gossip, perhaps because they are jealous I can do that and they can't (not everyone is allowed wfh in my office), nevertheless everyone talks behind your back as if you're taking the piss and that does affect you mentally and makes you paranoid and worried about it.

Management sometimes also makes it sounds like they don't really believe you; that you're not really ill unless you sound like Joe Cocker on the phone.
So you feel a pressure to come in as much as you can, even if that means taking your germs with you, and only stay at home when you really really can't leave your bed.

It's damned if you do damned if you don't.

I think it's ridiculous there is a stigma on taking sick days, but there just is. I also think that if managers can't tell a good employee from a bad one without looking at their sick days, they are a crap managers in my opinion, and encouraging ppl to come in ill. But unfortunately this is the world we live in.

User3456 · 11/01/2025 23:58

I do feel for people who are ill but don't get proper sick pay and can't work from home. But please wear a mask if you can't stay home and have an infectious illness. It's not fair to pass your illness onto others and put them in that position too..
YANBU OP

Printedword · 12/01/2025 00:02

It's often about sick pay, which is sad money grabbing companies not thinking things through. One of the huge benefits of the hybrid working culture where I work is that we are actively encouraged to keep our germs at home.

Littlemisscapable · 12/01/2025 00:30

CosyLemur · 11/01/2025 17:52

The NHS has a shocking sick policy - my cousin had to attend a disciplinary meeting for her attendance during COVID when her 3 kids caught it in succession so she legally had to isolate 3 times!

This. The NHS absence policy is absolutely not good..

nocoolnamesleft · 12/01/2025 00:47

NHS has good sick pay, not good sickness policy. I've had management punitively send me to occupational health before, because I was apparently off too many times. Occupational health was shocked I wasn't off more, and longer, and told the managers this. Next time I was off sick, I was still sent back again. Stressful as fuck.

Pherian · 12/01/2025 01:03

Do you guys get paid sick time ? What is the company attitude toward sickness ? Can you work remotely ?

You’re not being unreasonable, but it may not be as simple as just not coming in.

Kerri44 · 12/01/2025 09:55

I was in work with flu before Christmas, as were others, we get sick pay, but we also have sickness policies where time is counted for a rolling year, you can't work from home if you are not well enough to come in, you have to be off sick, I felt shocking but can't just always stop, few of us were unwell

Shinyandnew1 · 12/01/2025 10:39

CountrycottageSusie · 07/01/2025 13:47

Just to update, yes they would be entitled to sick pay and they can also work from home which makes it more frustrating. They only started the antibiotics yesterday afternoon

It depends on the sickness policy and WFH rules of the department. Yes in theory jobs like nhs and teaching have 'good sick pay' in reality, if you have several different periods off, you land yourself in disciplinary processes.

Calochortus · 12/01/2025 10:45

Horserider5678 · 11/01/2025 18:21

Rubbish I’m a senior sister in the NHS! No was disciplined during covid for being off sick or having to isolate! The NHS has the most generous sickness policy in that you get sick pay from day one. This is why sickness is through the roof in it!

I don’t care who you are. Our DD was disciplined by the NHS (or they tried to until her Union ripped them a new arsehole) for having to legally isolate 4 times. She was front line on a covid ward during the pandemic. You can’t say no-one was disciplined or the NHS tried to discipline anyone - you won’t have access to those statistics or every member of the NHS’s private medical records so be quiet.

RabbitsRock · 12/01/2025 10:49

Who goes to the hairdresser with a sick bug?!!

AliciaSoo · 16/01/2025 11:15

PrioritisePleasure24 · 11/01/2025 20:20

why?? tonsillitis can be bacterial, if you have a swollen/sore/dry throat you can be coughing too.

Correct, once antibiotics started 24h after IF bacterial is non infectious anymore. But coughing tends to be a sign of viral tonsillitis

New posts on this thread. Refresh page