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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is anyone up. Completely overwhelmed

33 replies

Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:07

I just need someone to talk to and feeling completely overwhelmed. I have so much on my mind, single parent, work, my DD isn’t sleeping well and I also now have insomnia and my head feels so much pressure when I try and close my eyes to sleep, I’ve been worried about my health, feeling lonely, feeling so stressed out and it’s making me feeling really panicky and dizzy. I feel like I need some help

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:10

I am awake. How old is DD?

Zapx · 07/01/2025 03:10

Hey OP, it sounds like you have an awful lot on. How old is your DD? Might you be able to get in touch with your gp this week do you reckon?

Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:14

She is 4 and has been having nightmares and scared of monsters and will want to come into bed with me and says she is scared to sleep. I have tried everything to help her but it’s just a cause of her eventually falling to sleep . It’s been going on for a while. When she does sleep, I just can’t shut off and my head feels so heavy, I will just lay awake and worry about different sensations in my body and think something is wrong with me. I am up in a few hours to do the school run and get to work and it’s so icy out there. I just feel really anxious and alone

OP posts:
Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:16

I will hopefully get an appointment tomorrow as I’m starting to worry about my blood pressure going up and I’m aching, I have chronic shoulder pain that I was meant to get looked at ages ago and it keeps flaring up. I just feel everything is getting on top of me

OP posts:
Dontsparethehorses · 07/01/2025 03:18

Sometimes stress and feeling overwhelmed can show as physical pain OP but do go to the GP. Sometimes playing white noise gives me something to zone out too (and might help your DD get to sleep)

nomoretreats · 07/01/2025 03:20

Can you write a quick list for yourself of everything that needs doing to mentally free yourself tonight?

Can you put your DD in your bed to help her sleep? Might be easier and help you both sleep a bit better.

Concentrate on your breathing. Deep breath in then release after 3.

XChrome · 07/01/2025 03:20

Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:07

I just need someone to talk to and feeling completely overwhelmed. I have so much on my mind, single parent, work, my DD isn’t sleeping well and I also now have insomnia and my head feels so much pressure when I try and close my eyes to sleep, I’ve been worried about my health, feeling lonely, feeling so stressed out and it’s making me feeling really panicky and dizzy. I feel like I need some help

Is the pressure in the front of your head right above your nose? If so, it's probably your sinuses. I was dizzy when I had my last sinus infection.
See your GP if it continues.
You're also stressed to the max, so no wonder you are so anxious.
Have you ever tried theanine? It has a calming effect. I combine it was melatonin for sleep with some success, though I do have quite intractable, life-long insomnia.
Maybe your GP could give you some anti-anxiety meds to take when these attacks happen. Benzodiazepines have a bad rep which is mostly unearned, because as long as they are taken responsibly they can be really helpful for anxiety. Bonus is they also help you sleep. I have taken them for ten years with no addiction issues, have never even had to raise the dose, probably because I only take them when they are absolutely necessary. It sounds like you are in absolutely necessary territory. I hope you get the help you need.❤️

Zapx · 07/01/2025 03:21

Aww bless her that sounds really difficult. And so hard for you as well. Does anything help much, eg a night light in her room? Rewarding staying in her bed etc? A friend of mine’s LO had night terrors for a while and it was exhausting for them, although a lot better now.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/01/2025 03:21

My favourite trick is to think this, 'well I want to be asleep, and I wish I was, but at 7am tomorrow I'll wish I could just stay in bed. Not sleep, just be allowed to stay in bed. So I get that right now. I get to be in bed, all tucked in.'

Sometimes it helps. Sometimes here we are at 3am with fully awake insomnia Grin

Notrynajudge · 07/01/2025 03:24

Sorry you are struggling OP. Also a single parent here so I really sympathise. I'm up and happy to chat, I am feeling extremely unwell with a bad chest infection.

When I feel like this I make a to do list and prioritise. I try to break my worries down into little actions. If I can't think of an action I just try and let the worry go into the too hard to deal with pile. It sounds like you need to prioritise your health so getting on the phone to the GP tomorrow sounds like a good plan.

I also practice acupressure for stress relief, easy to look up on YouTube.

Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:25

Thank you. Yes she has been coming in with me but even then says she’s scared, I just have to reassure her, we have lullaby playing and night light, nice bath before bed but not much is working at the moment

the pressure is above my nose but then goes round to the back of my head, I think it could be my sinus as I’ve had a runny nose and I’ve been feeling dizzy, but then I have health anxiety anyway so tell myself it’s something else

OP posts:
Notrynajudge · 07/01/2025 03:26

the pressure is above my nose but then goes round to the back of my head, I think it could be my sinus as I’ve had a runny nose and I’ve been feeling dizzy, but then I have health anxiety anyway so tell myself it’s something else

Definitely look up acupressure massage for sinus relief. Even if it's not your sinuses I find these very relaxing.

Meadowfinch · 07/01/2025 03:26

Old fashioned hot chocolate or Horlicks for both of you. The warm milk will help you sleep.

Can she sleep in with you while she's got night terrors, it will help settle her and take the pressure off.

Try not to worry OP, it will pass xx

stonebrambleboy · 07/01/2025 03:27

Lavender drops on the pillow are very calming and aid sleep.

endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:31

Do you think she would sleep in with you? If you can't sleep with her in your bed, could you make her a little nest on the floor beside you? We used to always have a spare duvet, pillows and blanket next to the bed so that any of the DC who felt a bit scared or lonely could just creep in and snuggle down. They soon outgrew it. Everything with little children is a phase and for me, it was more important that everyone got sleep.
Lack of sleep makes everything worse.

endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:33

Camomile tea and an audiobook or some very calm music can be a good distraction too. I often drift off with the radio on quietly. It is the silence that is stressful.

Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:33

endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:31

Do you think she would sleep in with you? If you can't sleep with her in your bed, could you make her a little nest on the floor beside you? We used to always have a spare duvet, pillows and blanket next to the bed so that any of the DC who felt a bit scared or lonely could just creep in and snuggle down. They soon outgrew it. Everything with little children is a phase and for me, it was more important that everyone got sleep.
Lack of sleep makes everything worse.

Thank you it does. She been coming in with me but she’s still been taking a while to actually fall asleep even with lullaby and her teddy and night light etc. I just wish I could shut off too when she is sleeping. I’m just worrying too much about everything

OP posts:
Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:34

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/01/2025 03:21

My favourite trick is to think this, 'well I want to be asleep, and I wish I was, but at 7am tomorrow I'll wish I could just stay in bed. Not sleep, just be allowed to stay in bed. So I get that right now. I get to be in bed, all tucked in.'

Sometimes it helps. Sometimes here we are at 3am with fully awake insomnia Grin

Thank you I will try and do this as the more I think that it’s getting closer to the time my alarm is set and I’ve still not slept, the more panicked I’m becoming as I know it’ll be a rush in the morning

OP posts:
Original poster
Brrrr98 · 07/01/2025 03:35

Thank you everyone I will try all of these

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:35

Vitamin D supplements are really important in the winter. We don't get anything like enough sunlight this time of year to achieve a normal level of vitamin D. Anxiety is a classic symptom of vitamin D deficiency.

Allywill · 07/01/2025 03:38

im awake as well - really anxious about a plumbing issue which i have blown up to mean we will need to rip the bathroom out and cost££££s. worries always seem insurmountable at night i really wish i could be one of those “i’ll think about it tomorrow” type of people. i do find some calming music helps (google deep sleep relax music delta waves). my youngest was always one for coming in bed with me - she did it regularly up to about 14, she’s 26 now and sleeps like a log! when i have night like this i always think well i’ll sleep tomorrow night at least (cos i’ll be exhausted). i do sometimes use kirkland sleep aids. you can get them on ebay and they are only antihistamines really but are effective.

Edizzler25 · 07/01/2025 03:39

My 3 year old has just started having nightmares about monsters too, out of nowhere. We’ve bought a worry monster (£10 from Amazon) and explained to him it’ll eat all his bad dreams. It has a zip on its mouth so for older kids you can write down their dreams / worries and “feed” it to the monster to be gobbled up.

endofthelinefinally · 07/01/2025 03:41

Notrynajudge · 07/01/2025 03:24

Sorry you are struggling OP. Also a single parent here so I really sympathise. I'm up and happy to chat, I am feeling extremely unwell with a bad chest infection.

When I feel like this I make a to do list and prioritise. I try to break my worries down into little actions. If I can't think of an action I just try and let the worry go into the too hard to deal with pile. It sounds like you need to prioritise your health so getting on the phone to the GP tomorrow sounds like a good plan.

I also practice acupressure for stress relief, easy to look up on YouTube.

Agree that it can help to break down and list each thing that is worrying you.
Is it money? Do you need advice about debt management/benefits/child maintenance/tax? There are organisations that can help with all of those. Maybe we can suggest some?
About work - is it anything specific, like colleagues/manager/workload/bullying?
Writing it down can help to stop it all going round and round in your head.

mankell · 07/01/2025 03:45

Edizzler25 · 07/01/2025 03:39

My 3 year old has just started having nightmares about monsters too, out of nowhere. We’ve bought a worry monster (£10 from Amazon) and explained to him it’ll eat all his bad dreams. It has a zip on its mouth so for older kids you can write down their dreams / worries and “feed” it to the monster to be gobbled up.

When my son was having nightmares about monsters we used to draw pictures of them together from his descriptions and then scribble them out or rip them up. This really helped him at the time too.

ExecutiveMumma · 07/01/2025 03:46

I'm here... 7month old ans husband snoring in harmony next to me. Add insomnia and chronic back pain to the mx and tadah... here we are.

Get it all out..... you'll feel better... GO