Please help. DD scared to sleep, something going on at night time

[Puppypoppy]

Hi,

I need some help to figure out what’s going on. My DD is 5.5. I am going to call the doctors but need some advice. She is anxious at night time. Says it’s due to bad dreams but she is saying how scared she is and repeats it a lot but not always telling me what’s wrong sometimes but She is complaining of tummy ache some nights and crying out in pain tonight and is clammy. But isn’t sick she is absolutely fine during the day. Happy playing. Her normal self. The past two she has been getting up to wee twice within the hour which isn’t like her.

I would put my money on her having worms.

Get a torch and have a look.

Thank you. I had a look and can’t see anything and can’t see anything in her poo

It sounds like she might have a urine infection? Tummy pain, clammy and weeing more often could all be symptoms of a UTI. Is she in any discomfort when weeing?

The bad dreams and feeling scared are pretty normal and probably just a phase. I had lots of nightmares as a child and often got into bed with my mum in the middle of the night! Sometimes it didn't even wake her and she'd just find me curled up beside her in the morning 😂 give her lots of reassurance that she is safe and cuddles at bedtime and maybe stay with her until she dozes off for a few weeks. It will probably just resolve on it's own. Children have active imaginations and bad dreams are very common.

Ah OK, cuddles then and tbh I would bring her into bed tonight, she's needing to be close for whatever reason and you'll get more rest.

Poor little dab.

There are all sorts of reasons that children can be anxious at night many many of them are absolutely nothing to worry about so don’t overly worry. Of course there can also be other reasons too but don’t immediately jump into panic.

it could be as simple as she is overwhelmed and tired after Christmas and being off school.

has she maybe seen something that may seem innocuous to us as adults but has seeded some fear

has she been ill or run down

Has there been any fallout’s or arguments around her recently or other stress

im sorry to bring this up and I am not accusing but childhood trauma (especially sexual abuse) can trigger this type of behaviour and very young children very rarely have the capability to verbalise it or even understand what is happening so it can come out as fear at night.
I’m definitely not saying that it is this but I also know that most parents don’t have this on their radar as something to consider because The statistics are that this happens overwhelmingly by an adult a child knows and of course no adult ever wants to believe their family or friends can be a predator!

Poor wee girl. It could be a UTI as a pp said. My DD had one a while back and she was clammy and sore.

I'd bring her in with you tonight, lots of reassurance and cuddles. It's also colder than usual - could she be feeling a little chilled? I wee more before bed when I'm cold, it's like I can't relax to finish the stream so I go back and forth a bit.

Thank you. She’s completely fine during the day and her normal self, running around happy. No sign of uti during the day, I asked her if it stings when she goes to the toilet but she says no. I’m so worried about getting her up for school in the morning, she only just went to sleep at 2am

I wouldn't discount the worms possibility. You can't always see them easily, and sometimes they can infect the bladder too. They're also mostly active at night.

I was going to say worms. But as you say the best thing is to go to the GP as it could be anything - worms, constipation, feeling anxious about something.

My DC went through night time anxiety like this recently. For us it was because our smoke alarms had gone off a bunch recently and just developed bedtime anxiety. We went with a firm, you need to stay in your bed, didn’t give excessive reassurance (this can make the fears worse). Initially we agreed to sit right outside her door, watching the baby monitor and would respond to requests to confirm we were there through the door only. Over a few weeks we’ve gradually pulled back so we now can sit in the sitting room with no reassurances apart from when we close the door to say we’ll watch her. We also told her the red Hatch light was a special calming light.

Probably a dream catcher could be your placebo. Basically we gave into requests that we could live with and started pulling back as soon as possible.

Anxious peeing is a common thing in that age group too. My DC went through a bad patch.

Sounds a bit out there, but do you have a camera in her room? I saw a documentary once on baby monitors/smart cameras and some of the cheaper ones were being hacked into and people were talking to the kids while they were in bed. There was one little girl who was also terrified to go to sleep and one evening her dad was sitting outside her bedroom and heard someone talking to her through the camera.

Try put some children's sleep mediation stories on for her to get her to sleep.

When my nephews were struggling to sleep at night I bought them crystals, amethyst & rose quartz to help with sleep and protection when sleeping. They were about six. About a year later their dad was having trouble sleeping so they lent him their crystals to help him out. Adorable. I think something tangible like that helps empower children.

I'd also get some lavender essential oil for her bedroom for the night to help relax her.

I think, if it had been DS, I would put him to sleep in our bed for a couple of nights. Firstly to see if the symptoms occurred in a different room, and secondly so I was on hand during the night to get a better handle on what was going on.

If after a couple of nights he slept through, then I would do a transition back to his room. Maybe carrying him back when I went to bed for a couple of nights initially.

There could be lots of reasons, from physical such as worms to emotional because of some unspecified anxiety.

She has been in with me and it was still happening. Tbh a much better night tonight as she was very tired after school!

When my son was little and anxious in bed at night I used to check all around the room first and say "all OK under here", "oh yes and all ok over here" (as my Dad had done for me).
Then I'd settle him down and stroke his hair and go over it pretending to pull out all his worries which I put into an invisible pot, with an invisible stopper and this was put away on the invisible shelf so he could pick them up again in the morning and so he didn't have to think about them at night. 😊 He still asks me to do this sometimes!

That’s lovely, I will try this if she’s unsettled again. I did take her to the doctors after school and the doctor thought just a phase and that her tummy aches could be down to this but she did feel her tummy and said it felt quite hard so has given her something for constipation to hopefully ease any pain or trapped wind

Worry dolls? I used to have them as a child to tell all my worries to
Or they do a potato now
amzn.eu/d/1gtfU7q

With some "magic sleep/monster/worry" spray (pillow spray)

I used to be terrified of volcanos as a small child after seeing something on children's TV. I would lie awake imagining every sound from the railway, every car engine was it .. the start of an eruption.

I was also afraid of appendicitis after reading about Donny Osmond's experience as a little boy. It was my first awareness of serious illness, pain, emergency operations being a thing. Every twinge, every tummy rumble.

It may be she's seen or heard something that's preying on her mind. And access to awful things is so much easier these days.

Keep an eye on those physical symptoms, help her to talk if it's something worrying her.

Oh yes that’s a good idea. I’ve seen worry worms too on Etsy!

Thank you, I am wondering if she’s somehow heard something or someone has said something at school. She is quite vague about what it is although she did say she dreams of monsters eating her, bless her. I will keep an eye and see how we get on. She has settled a lot better tonight

I wonder if someone might have been showing her frightening videos? So easy to access now.