I feel genuinely quite bad for writing this as my Parents to par have been genuinely very supportive. But I’m finding that my parents are becoming really distant with me, whether they mean to be I don’t know but If I try to reach out to them I find that they’re wanting to cut me short or are just avoiding me as whole.
I’ve got a 2 year old and another baby on the way due end of May/June time.
My parents are generally fair over all with both my son and my nephew. My nephews almost 6 has been very used to being the only grandchild for a long time and he can get quite Jealous which whilst I totally get, but at times I find my parents feed into it and make excuses and often refer to him a still being a baby himself or saying he doesn’t understand.
We went for a day out to Peppa world over xmas as my parents promised as they took my nephew when he was the same and he’s been twice since then with them also not mention he only just came back from Disneyland Paris all travel/hotel expenses paid for by my mum and dad in October. We’d looked at booking peppa world, but that came with a battle off my mum complaining they cant afford to do it as they’d done it so many time with my nephew. I was naturally quite disheartened by her saying that as I felt a little snubbed in a way. So we decided we’d look at just booking it ourselves and spare the money argument and my dad decided he’d book/pay for us 3; plus both of them and we went and had a lovely day. But we were sworn to secrecy as apparently my nephew wouldn’t understand why they took my son and not him.
We avoid discussing Disney nor do we mention it at all; as it will raise the same ugly conversation from my mum about her not being able to afford for them to pay for me and my son to go. Id have to pay for myself despite them paying for my sister and her son. So again iv admitted defeat and not raised the subject and just accepted that it wont happen.
I’ve tried so delicately to explain to my parents they are creating their own issues with my nephew by doing certain activities alone. Some I totally get as my sons too small for some things.
But at 5 nearly 6 I confidently say that my nephew is one incredibly and I mean Incredibly smart little boy, he does not miss a beat at all. He’s so smart and has been from about 3 & 1/2yr old such super smart little boy! I just feel my sons snubbed all the time by my mum.
They rarely ask or offer to have my son I don’t ask as I get told no unlike my sister who will ask most weekends and they say yes, they must have my nephew every other weekend for sleepovers but refuse to have our son. My dad would love to take them both to their caravan for a weekend but my mum says no and will only entertain the idea of taking my nephew. Or will just say ‘he has othet grandparents (we see them weekly absolutely no issues or questions and they take my son out a lot which I appreciate massively!). My sister I will add was ALWAYS my mums favourite whether she admits that or not (my dad says their dogs remind me of her, the i.e me the older of the brothers gets the blame all the time, and the youngest brother gets away with their crime everytime).
I don’t even know how to describe what I feel other than I feel like my mum doesn’t really enjoy seeing my son? Even me for that matter she avoids me unless she wants her hair doing for free by me (I’m a hairdresser). It breaks my boyfriend’s heart to see me get so upset or to feel as hurt as I do and even he’s noticed the snubbing and refers to it as unintentional favouritism on my mums part. I can’t raise this issue with her as she’d get very defensive and will just totally switch off. Iv always felt my mum’s been harder on me throughout life, her own sisters and my grandma tell her she was too hard on me growing up.
I then sit and think AIBU to feel so hurt or feel disconnected from my own mum?
Or am I feeling the way I am because Im seeing it as it is and I have every right to feel so upset?