Childminder terminating contract

[hoolahoolay]

Surely I'm not being unreasonable. So my son is due to start with a childminder next week when I go back to work after maternity leave. We have settling in sessions this week

So she sent the invoice for January out early December and she said to let her know if there were any errors, the due date on the invoice was 1st January. For one reason or another we haven't paid it and instead of reminding us she has messaged this morning to say she's terminated contract as invoice is 5 days late.
Surely she could have sent a payment reminder.

WTF can I do now?

I don't blame the OP one bit for not coming back. Whatever she says now will be still be met with a torrent of borderline abusive statements telling her she was wrong. It's a bit like standing in front of a firing squad. I don't think people have kindness at the front of their minds when posting on here.

The point the OP was trying to make was whether it would have been reasonable for a reminder to have been more sent first before jumping straight to terminating the contract. Some people have addressed this, others have missed this point. No one is disputing that the fees shouldn't have been paid.

Ex CM here. I have terminated 3 contracts.
Late payer.
Non payer.
Persistantly late to collect with feeble excuses.

In my experience, and with my peers, contracts are terminated because of the parents.
You could try knocking the door with 2 months advance in hand, profuse apologies and beg to offer to set up a standing order.

The invoice IS the reminder! At some point prior to issuing the invoice, OP and the childminder will have discussed and agreed days and hours of attendance, the fee schedule, and signed the contract. At this point OP will already know what a month’s childminding costs. Then the childminder issues the invoice – voila, it’s a reminder she now needs to pay. And plenty of time to do so even if she hasn’t yet set up her government gateway account to use tax-free childcare.

Harping on about “a quick reminder” – it’s really not. The childminder’s primary job is looking after children; as part of that business she’ll also issue contracts, generate invoices, and check payments – necessary work but work that doesn’t generate income. Issuing reminders on top is yet more admin – every minute she’s issuing reminders, she’s working for free. The cost benefit to her is better if she cancels the contract and moves onto a client who simply pays on time and doesn’t need a reminder after the first invoice.

Actually, I don't think the contract would be active until you had made your payment.
Lesson learned, pay your debts

I mean you're an adult, you shouldn't need to be nagged to pay your bills.

It's your first month and you didn't pay. It's a red flag for going forward. The waiting list everywhere is years long. She will have many families at the door begging her to take their child that will pay on time. So she's saving herself the hassle of wondering if you'll pay or not.

Why do you think it’s ok not to pay her ?
You agreed a contract then fell at the first hurdle , she owes you nothing and probably doesn’t want to do business with someone who doesn’t respect her terms !

The forum is AIBU, and people have said OP was being unreasonable to expect a reminder. It's not primarily a kind advice column.

Personally I think that's rather OTT - you haven't even actually had any childcare yet - I would have reminded you a few days before they started and explained that if you hadn't paid prior to settling in week then contract would be terminated -

I do think all this paying up front for services you haven't actually had yet sometimes oversteps the mark - a few days before then ok- but weeks before is OTT

You can apologise and pay now. You can offer to pay in advance. You can look for other childcare. Why do you think your childminder should spend her Christmas break reminding you that your payment was due?

It’s not weeks before: payment was due 1 January for a start date of next week, fairly standard to pay childcare fees on/by 1st of the month in which the childcare takes place.

OP agreed to these contractual payment terms when she took the place.

Fair play to her and hopefully that will teach you a lesson for next time.

The childminder also gave the OP am additional weeks grace, if she's only just messaged today.

This IS settling in week and the OP still hasn't paid....

@Oxforddictionary12 i agree here - any would urge people to think carefully before starting threads having been torn apart myself when posting for advice about a situation i was in. I have been very surprised by the vitriol on mumsnet at times.

The fact that the childcare hasn't started yet means it's a better time to terminate the contract. It's less disruptive for the child than in two weeks time if OP still hasn't paid.

Vitriol? The OP started off expecting people to agree that she hasn't been unreasonable. The vast majority of people have told her that she is.

Of course it does. I've never suggested otherwise. I've said that the OP was at fault. But ...

... this isn't about the 'crime'; it's a discussion about the suitability of the 'punishment'. If my milk's disappeared when I get home, would you support a seven year sentence for the person who took it?

How about Marcus, serving a year in prison in Dubai. Them's the rules over there; he should have known better? Is that it? Where do you stand on that? Do you honestly believe things are so clear cut? Maybe you do. But I don't 🙂

What's really piss poor too is the number of posters, rubbing their hands gleefully in the hope that 'word has got around' so that the OP struggles to find another childminder.

All a bit shit by a lot of you.

I comprehend perfectly 😆

While I was training in the gym, my trainer placed a 26kb dumbbell on the bench, which rolled off and broke my toe. That's an accident. Quite different to him smashing my foot with said dumbbell because I made a mistake with one of my lifts.

The pain itself would be the same in either circumstance. My reaction would vary depending on the circumstances.

You are both unreasonable. Not paying your childminder on time is ridiculously bad form on a million levels, starting with you need her more than she needs you, and ending with she's running a small business and doesn't have Sainsburys-level reserves to carry her through month to month. You pay your childminder on time. And yes, it's been Christmas, weird time of year, but going back to work WILL have been on your mind, so I don't buy it as an excuse.

That said, she could have sent you a reminder before moving to termination.

A better comparison would be you ordering the milk, not paying for it, then being surprised that it doesn't get delivered. Would you consider the milkman to be "punishing" you?

I think if you didn’t pay the invoice and had no other communication with her for a month, she might have assumed you’d changed your mind.

She could have been ‘fairer’ and at least chased you once rather than giving your place away, without checking.

I hope you’re able to find another one before you start back at work.

Your gym trainer, your physio appointment reminders, all your anecdotes have nothing to do with the fact OP’s childminder is running a business (one that’s notoriously low-paid and on a shoestring) and her client didn’t pay on time so she cut her losses and ended the contract.

I'd expect to receive a reminder before the delivery date. If I didn't pay then, I'd expect to get no milk.

You can expect a reminder all you like, they are not obliged to give you one.

Yes, I know. But thanks for spelling that out for me.

They are anecdotes to show how how it's possible to cut people some slack, get problems resolved and move forward without anyone losing purchases or sales.