Aibu to not know what to say?

[Axalotllittle]

Back to work today!! What the hell do I say when people ask how was your Christmas?!

I spent the two weeks either poorly or in hospital visiting my nan (who died).

I work at a school so it'll be teens and adults asking me and most of the teens are autistic so many will see through any bullshit immediately

‘Not the best this year, so lets talk about something else…wasnt it windy this morning”

I’d just say it was fine, and move on. There’s only certain people who need to know the truth.

And Im so sorry about your Nan

"It's wasn't the best if I'm totally honest with you, but nevermind eh, how was your Christmas?"

And condolences xx

Sorry for your loss.

Tell them honestly? You don't need to lie.

I was floored with flu last Christmas and that's what I told people.

"Not the best but I don't have the energy to talk about it, how about you?"

It’s up to you how much you feel happy to share. You could brush it off with something like ‘it wasn’t our best, I’m ready to get on with the new year. How was yours?’ and then if people press you for details you can just say you would rather not talk about it and move the conversation on to something new - with the kids, asking them about their break will hopefully move them on to that, with adults maybe have some stock questions about work or upcoming events to ask.

Sorry you have had such a rotten time. I hope 2025 is better to you.

unless you particularly want to get into it with someone say ‘it was busy how was yours?’

I spend a lot of time around autistic kids, teens, adults & can’t imagine a problem with that answer. If they want specifics say you visited family a lot.

I had to dodge this question every year for about 20 years, unless you really want to get into it don’t give an opening.

I am sorry for your loss, many condolences.

Depends how much you want to go into it and how people are actually asking? Are they just asking for a quick small talk so a “yeah was fine! How was yours?” will be enough?

I work with the public and get asked about 15 times a day every day for the first few weeks after. I spent one Christmas in hospital with pneumonia. I still just said “yeah was good thanks! You?” to every single person as I didn’t want to go into it.

So it depends if you actually want to tell people really.

It depends on whether you want to go into specifics or not. Their "seeing through the bullshit" doesn't override your need to be able to get on with getting better and coping with your grief.

If you don't want to get into it, don't. Just say it's been busy and you're glad to be back at work

Why do you have to “bullshit”? Why not just be honest but keep it high level as suggested by others. It’s a fantasy to think everyone is having a wonderful movie-style Christmas and most people know this.

If you want to disclose more, say, if you don’t, just say it was fine thanks, how was yours, what did you do? Conversation moves on. Mine was nice, but then my close friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer so I may disclose to some colleagues and chat it through, others i’ll just say what I said above.

I teach teens too..they absolutely wouldn't want me to offload anything that personal. Definitely a breezy "it was a quiet one, how was yours?" Is perfectly sufficient.

No one actually gives a shit what kind of Christmas you had, it's just standard small talk. Just say, fine thanks, you? And move on.

It's small talk, I wouldn't think anyone cares less, just answer 'it was good thanks, how was yours?' I do know, as My bil died unexpectedly 2 weeks before Christmas, we are a small close family, so the above was my answer, I don't like people knowing my business, plus too upset to talk about it.

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

If anyone asks me questions such as " did you have a nice Christmas " I assume it's them just being polite , not that they really want to know. So I generally answer along the lines of " it was quiet thanks, how was yours? "
So I don't see any obligation on your part to give away any information you don't want to.
If any one asks the question that you are genuinely close to and they are genuinely interested then that's different: you may feel it helpful to you to tell them how it actually was.

I think I'd say, 'I was ill the whole time!' and then leave it at that.

I don’t know why you feel teenagers, regardless of their neurodivergence, are entitled to, or would want, a blow by blow account of your illness or your grandmother’s death — they’re making vaguely friendly phatic noises like everyone else. It no more requires an ‘honest’ response than ‘Hello, how are you?’

Either ‘Fine’ or ‘Quiet’ or ‘Not the best’, moving onto ‘And yours?’ is fine.

And I’m sorry about your grandmother. 💐

This thread has really shocked me. People actually ask how Christmas was when they don't care about the answer?! My autism is showing right now too 😂