Also wide awake

[Redruby2020]

This is my issue

Another post also with someone awake now, and i didn't want to jump in theirs and say what's keeping you awake, and then jump in with what is keeping me awake and take over.

Mine I was going to write on here earlier, that ex has our DC, was a planned trip to family for New Year and some time after that, but often wants to push it to the limits, there is background story. Doesn't really care to be honest about school stuff and child having a couple of days to rest at home and sleep on time, to get up for new school term.
Then weather issues across the country have affected things in terms of them returning, and then ex saying he wasn't well. To me even though there are some truths there, he originally wanted to stay until now anyway, and I had said no, as no time before school starts.
This has happened other times but I set boundaries and DC was returned with a couple of days to spare usually.
As it stands they've now got to get back today all being well.
It was a nice Christmas and break, and now I feel this has ruined it, and started my anxiety and worry again which I had enough situations over around weekends when DC has contact with ex.
Admittedly we don't have an official parenting plan. Not that I hear this makes everything right or always the way that would be best.

So not that I am blaming myself because it's not my fault. But things are organised too casually often. And not set out before event, and then talking about return when they've gone away.
So I feel for my sake and the DC, if ex doesn't want to set things out straight to then be negotiated my side if need be.
That I have to ask things and set things before they go.
Of course he can agree to things then get what he wants and once away mess around or find a reason to not be able to come back when agreed.

I just hate this as because a few things had settled a bit things had calmed down for me in that I finally got a break from the constant anxiety and worry that comes with the ex. And here I am now again dealing with this again.

To add if they can't make it today, by which just like I think ex did from texting in the morning yesterday intend to return as agreed. But seemed to know that yes we will leave early today, bearing in mind it's a couple of hours plus journey once back in town.
If it goes in to tomorrow then obviously as main carer I can't sit back and ignore to happily leave it in his hands to deal with school.
I would ring them to notify that I can't bring DC in because they are not even back yet, explain the reasons and that on Friday I had said to ex that snow was predicted etc. And they merely said they would have a look at the weather, but didn't insist nor did they suggest let me leave today or at the latest the following morning which would have been fine, from what then happened with the weather.
Said they didn't think it would be that bad which was very naive. And if there are issues i would hope the school would contact the other parent. Not put it all on me because I feel that would be unfair.
I wouldn't expect that if it was the other way around.

Sorry long post thankyou for getting to the end of it.

One missed day of school against a good time with their dad is fine. Stop the anxiety, there's plenty of time to settle into the school routine again.

Really? It's nice that the first response was a nice one. Because I know with many having issues with their ex and child arrangements it can be mixed.
Someone else off of here called it very irresponsible, because he should have been checking things weather wise, and when I also alerted him he should have made a plan to leave, but he is that person he has to push the boundaries see how things are and then this kind of thing happens.

It's more deep than that, because I did have abuse and his character his issues he's got. The fact that as a mother I feel we feel it just as much for ourselves as sad for our kids.
Why do they not care or take an interest in school etc and other things.
I would have to tell everything or try to involve.
Even upon the trip beginning he asked what day does DC go back to school, I mean it's his child you should know these things or even if you are not bothered look things up, find out even just because you have to.
So with that in mind then it makes situations like these even more infuriating!

I don't think missing school is okay not under the circumstances I also think just like many things it's irresponsible.

You will get some and advice pages will tell you, you can not force or change how the other parent is.
Then others will put it on you to push and do this and that.
So with homework it's been in dribs and drabs what gets done.
I could repeat it until I'm blue in the face, he doesn't care or messes around chooses what he feels like doing or not.

So again with that, although the teacher is already aware, part of anything that is not done I will be writing a message to the teacher as it's the responsible thing to do and not let child get marks against them.
To again explain why it couldn't all be done.