I think he hates me

[Whatinthedoopla]

I've been with my DP since 2021, and we have 2 DC.

I know having children can be stressful for a relationship, but he just now seems angry with me all of the time, without me even instigating an argument at times. I grew up with my parents arguing every day (literally), and I know I sometimes carry that with me, and I have to try to not argue about things all of the time. Arguements are always children related, not relationship related such, "please don't leave those choking hazards on the floor, 'bed times are becoming a bit too late" etc

I went to watch a film "we live in time" and the couple never really seem to argue. I found this very interesting. And I now wonder how much do couples actually argue? What is normal? What kind of things would you argue about?

We probably argue properly like once a year

We bicker atleast twice a day over something stupid like

Ffs you've ruined dinner I told you to get the chicken out to defrost!!
Or
How many times do I have to tell you to pick your boxers up of the floor😂😂

We don't argue really
Don't judge your relationship from a film though!

I would never judge a relationship by a film but tbh of me and hubby argue twice a year I would be suprised. Everything can be talked about, worked at together or laughed about and we have four kids a teen and 3 under 4 and even with the tiredness etc we don't snap at each other etc we just plod on and always stay on the same page

We rarely argue, maybe every couple of years. We don’t really bicker often.

We never bicker, and arguments used to be several times a year but are now more like once a year, if that. Day to day life is very calm.

We don’t argue. It’s just not a feature of our relationship. If we disagree about an issue we discuss it, but we both prioritise speaking to each other in a way which is respectful and loving. If one of us does something thoughtless or hurtful (which is rare) then the other one apologises. We each assume the other has good intentions and would never do something upsetting deliberately, because that’s always been true before.

I think the odd argument is fine and not a source of concern in a relationship but if arguing is a regular occurrence it suggests to me that there is a fundamental issue in the communication in your relationship. You deserve to live in a peaceful home where the default is to discuss things kindly and calmly.

I've been with my husband over thirty years and I'd say I could count our proper arguments on the fingers of one hand. Daily arguments are really not a normal thing in a good relationship.