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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My husband never listens to me!

4 replies

Hunnybunny235 · 06/01/2025 01:42

Hola guys. It’s driving me crazy how my husband never listens to me, always expects us to go with what he says, and half the time we suffer the consequences of his decisions! My husband and I have a toddler and a newborn and needless to say we have our hands full! While he is driven off of impulse and spontaneity, I am a perfectionist, very calculated and in all honesty probably have OCD. Routine and order helps me survive as a parent. Both of us are in the lowest depths of our mental health it is so bad. I feel like I can handle the demands of parenting and make it easier for both of us but he never listens to me! For example, I have an emergency stash of dummies for my daughter because she loses them every 2-3 business days. He will dig into my stash and give her one instead of just finding her old one and when we actually need it say for bedtime she’s lost the emergency ones as well! Next, I said to book a hotel not an Airbnb because they aren’t child friendly on our trip to London. He ended up getting a £200 Airbnb because he is so set in his ways about Airbnb being better than hotels. It ended up being small, floor made of marble so kids could easily hurt themselves and on the third floor so we can’t even get the prams up instead of on the ground floor like you’d get in a hotel, as well as you don’t have to clean up as much as in an Airbnb (although I always try to anyways). I can’t take it. He doesn’t take my word for nothing and it’s ruining both of our lives.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 06/01/2025 01:46

You sound very...demanding. Do you always expect things to be done your way?

Also, how can a newborn lose dummies so much that you can't find them?

username299 · 06/01/2025 02:01

OCD is debilitating, so get some help with that. See your Dr to discuss medication and get some therapy.

Have a conversation with your husband and tell him how you feel. If his mental health is bad then he needs to work on that.

You knew what he was like before you had your second child and obviously coped. It sounds like the problem is both of your mental health.

Compromise is crucial in a relationship. It can't always be a one way street, learn to compromise.

Khayker · 06/01/2025 02:15

If you're letting him book things like hotels, unless you want to do it all yourself, i suggest you sit down together and decide what you need before it's booked. He's tired, you're tired, recipe for disaster if you don't keep communicating. Men aren't the most imaginative, they need some encouragement and anyone that's been married a long time will tell you, they have selective hearing. Make time for the two of you to sit down and have those conversations.

RechargeableGnu · 06/01/2025 02:22

You're both being unreasonable.

He's taking the easy route parenting and you're too hung up on your way or no way.

You need to let him make some decisions - he's an adult, he's going to do things differently from you - and he needs to recognise that some things you put in place are for a reason.

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