My aunt and her daughters PIP/ benefits

[Whatyearisit20]

my cousin has been on dla most of her life, not diagnosed with much but symptomatic of a lot. She does have an autism diagnosis however this is not the main cause of why she was on dla.
she is now moving over to pip and will be able to claim her own UC.
she went to through main stream education and did not require an ehcp of any kind and is a very capable person.
she spend quite a lot of time at our house with my kids because I think she just enjoys the hustle and bustle of it so I know her very well !
i receive Dla for my eldest and aunt rang me to see if I knew any information about how she could be the one to still receive cousins pip ( was dla ) and her universal credit due to her being incapable.
I was slightly taken back by this rightly or wrongly they got my cousin a cash in hand job that she works at Saturday and Sunday perfectly able and take 20 percent of her wages for rent.
she is fairly independent and travels her self, shops her self etc
so I highlighted that I didn’t think this was reasonable and if cousin is entitled to it then she should now receive her money.
I spoke to cousin about what she wanted and she said she wanted it to come to her.
she is very capable I just don’t understand it.
aunt is now annoyed at me and said that daughter was fine with it until I spoke to her and is furious but I just feel like cousin needed to know all
options and is capable of making her own decisions.

No you are wrong ,the money is intended to benefit the disabled child ,i would say having a warm home food etc benefits them as I said many parents have to take a huge drop in income due to their child's needs it also benefits my child having me at home to put him on and off school transport and be around to collect him if needed he's at respite tonight but I csn never guarantee that will go smoothly and I won't be asked to collect him parents csn spend the DLA however they want as long as it benefits the child.

Read the DLA contract again and you see that the money is to be used for the child. Not your personal use. Carers allowance can be used for you if you have to give up work (like I have).

DLA ends at 16 and the 16 year old transitions to PIP.

I'm not using it for my personal use I'm using it to benefit my son taking him to groups and activities would be of no benefit if he didn't have a roof over his head or not being fed would it i suggest you read it again.

This is rubbish, I used my son’s DLA money to support the household while I stopped work to support his needs.

The DWP had no issue with this at all when I asked. If you can afford to put it aside and not touch it except for very narrow areas then great, most cannot though hence the ways it can be used are broad.

PIP is in my sons name but paid to me….i manage this for him simply because he is vulnerable to people who would take advantage of him. Most of it goes on paying a PA for him so I can work part time. Ditto his UC.

This is what I was trying to get across, OP is making it sound like her aunt is using it for her own personal use and not the child.

Absolutely this.

This

There may be a lot of care and support that your aunt provides that you aren't aware of because you don't live with them.

Especially if they are neurodiverse. Many neurodiverse kids present much younger than their actual age. Typically 3-4 years behind their peers. So a 16 year old could be more like a 12 year old in terms of maturity.

I would imagine many posters have very little experience of this hence replies may say yanbu.

It's none of your business really and even if you are well meaning I'm not surprised she's annoyed

Completely agree :) I was referring to OP’s aunt as i’d like to know what she actually spends the money on as it doesn’t sound like it’s benefitting the child as OP states the child doesn’t have very severe needs at all.

@Whatyearisit20 I'm getting a whiff here of a mum (your aunt) who over-reported symptoms through childhood (paediatricians rely heavily on parental reporting), benefited from the dla that resulted, and is now trying hard to keep that going, while your cousin tries to break free. Does that strike a chord?

But the Op says the cousin stays over at her house 3/4 nights a so I assume she does have a good idea of cousins needs?

I think you need to butt out.
Your cousin is just about to turn 16 if she's just been invited to claim PIP.
That's still very young to manage all your own affairs and people with autism mature later than NT people.
There may well be difficulties and support needed that you don't see.
Autistic people mask.
Is she still at school/college? At 16 she really should be continuing her education or in an apprenticeship, especially if she's as capable as you say.
Is anyone supporting her for her future options?
Your aunt maybe worried about money, that's valid, she must still be mainly supporting her, food, housing, clothing, haircuts, travel, any extra support such as therapists, equipment etc. She may also be practically and emotionally supporting her above and beyond what is typical for most 16 year old.
I wouldn't say anything until she's 18+ I think the majority of 16years who transfer from dla to pip have parents as their appointees.
And there's no guarantee her pip application will be successful.
If you want to help your cousin talk to her about her future options, college, 6th form apprenticeship etc and support her apply for them.

Not necessarily. Its no indicator of what the aunt may be having to do behind the scenes in terms of care needs/life admin.

Dc is now on high level PIP. A few years ago my ex would have her for every other weekend. He was absolutely uninvolved in terms of support. No attendance at therapies and other weekly medical appointments. Never got called in to school every other day etc.. his view is that she didn't need help. Well all the professionals involved begged to differ.

It's very telling to me that she works part time cash in hand at a job her mum got for her. This is quite typical of people with ASD where the vast majority don't work.

I think the OP is being unfair on her aunt tbh.

Tŵo nights a fortnight is very different to up.to 8.nights a fortnight.

Similar to my dd. Comes across as capable but actually wastes her money on vapes, weed and roblox type digital games to excess.

Whereas driving lessons in future, therapy, food due to specific issues, gym membership is a better use.

Agree with this if cooks own dinner, could baby sit and travel anywhere.

My dd is capable in some respects but could not do the three above.

Well we'll just have to agree to differ.

Of course it's not impossible that the aunt is scamming the system but it's incredibly unlikely. The vast majority of parent carers make enormous personal sacrifices to ensure their kids have the support they need.

She won't have got the DLA in the first place without an abundance of evidence and you know that.

If your cousin leaves education and works she'll need to pay your aunt digs of more than the £70pm she's currently paying. Your aunt is in a difficult position financially and obviously relies on the DLA.

If she's capable of managing her own money she's capable of paying her own way.

I don’t know whether she will get pip or not and she may work full time who knows she can’t right this second because she needs to finish her education first. It might take time to find a job.

I don’t think she will stay at home much longer in the sense and I think she could hugely benefit from having her own money if needed.

since she was 14 she started coming over more and now just stays most of the time. Most of this time I don’t have any contact check in with aunt.

Yes of course she is only paying 70.00 now because she is still a minor at school and her mum still receives child benefit , child element and dla for her and she stays there 3/4 times a week.

I didn’t say if she decides to stay living with her mum and working or receiving her own benefits that she wouldn’t have to pay her mum anywhere ‘

Cooking for herself and travelling by herself isn't enough info to judge her needs though. My autistic brother can prepare food, travel by himself, go shopping, look after a child for a couple of hours etc. On paper.

But in reality he can only make the same 5 simple meals, he can only travel on routes he knows, he can only go to the shops he knows, he could watch a child but wouldn't know what to do in an emergency etc. Any deviation from what he knows results in an anxiety explosion and a meltdown. He works 5 days a week, but he can not handle his own finances. He doesn't understand bills and budgeting. He isn't able to fill in his own forms or advocate for himself. He definitely wouldn't be able to complete a PIP form himself. He will always live in supportive housing and needs other people to help him and keep him safe.

Looking in from the outside isn't the same as living with it.

Someone can be eligible for PIP and still be independent/not require care from someone else. They could needs aids to do the daily living activities.

Indeed but the criteria is different to DLA I know quite like a few young whose rates have gone up when transferring to PIp
Yet others have lost an award entirely

Nobody’s saying they are spending it on themselves.

I’m a welfare rights lawyer and I promise you that it’s fine for DLA to be used in any way that benefits the child. Including providing a suitable environment for them to live in, and food.

I very much doubt that a parent of a disabled child who is eligible for dla, is spending less than the dla money on that child.

I very much doubt that a parent of a disabled child who is eligible for dla, is spending less than the dla money on that child.

Especially when Scope’s latest disability price tag research shows on average disabled households need an extra £1,010 per month for the same standard of living as non-disabled households. This figure would be higher on if it was adjusted for inflation.