Partner doesn’t share

[Susieblues]

when my family phone me they call on FaceTime and my partner and I share the conversation. My partner and I are both divorced, have lived together almost nine years (no wish to marry again) and live in a different country to both our families. When my partners sister phones he doesn’t even put the call on speakerphone so I can join in with the call. We all get on really well I may add. The phone call ends and I ask how his sister is and what she had to say and his reply is always “oh not much” after being on the phone for 30-44 minutes. His sister is terminally ill and struggling. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to join the conversation?

Yes this is super weird

Been with DH 22 years, this wouldn't occur to me. Give him some privacy

Sounds controlling on your part

Ring his sister yourself if you want to talk ri her!

Shared phone calls, including FaceTime, sound awful to me!

What the heck have I just read. You don't need to share conversations like this. You are being really weird.

If anyone put me on speaker phone and 'shared the call' I would never call them again (except work obviously) if DH asked me to do this I would think he'd gone mad. It really is incredibly invasive and odd. I speak as someone who lived in a small 2 man dome tent with DH for 2 years so we are very close!

She's in a very difficult situation. The details her illness are very personal. In her situation, I wouldn't want to share either. I'd just accept the she needs what she needs and you have to go along with her wishes.

Yes, you are being unreasonable if your partner does not want you to join. Neither me or my DH would expect this (or desire it) of each other

I've stopped calling my brother for this reason. "Oh X is here you're on speakerphone". Then the call is awkward and stilted as no one knows who's talking to who and when. It's beyond shit and a bit pathetic. So just let him get on with it

It’s weird to expect to talk to your partner’s family EVERY time they call. Sometimes yes, or maybe sometimes where you drop in and say hi and then go off again. Add in the fact his sister is terminal and it’s completely understandable they want to talk on their own. You have only been with him for a few years so his sister is obviously closer to her brother than she is to you.

Why would your family want to speak to your boyfriend every time? Do they never want to just speak to you? Beyond weird.

Equally, why do you need to know details of your boyfriend's conversations with his family. Verging on controlling.

Stop sharing your family phone calls. If you want to speak with his sister give her a ring.

Could you call her separately?

Apoart from him keaving yoiu out of their conversations, why don't you cakk her yourself? Nothing to lose ?