Kids dad and arrangements

[Youhavechangedyrusername]

My Ex-H and I try to be flexible and help each other out.
Having said that, it seems he is very reluctant to Whatsapp me, preferring to.do it through the boys. They are 11 and 10.
He has set up a Whatsapp group for the 3 of them (not me)
That is fine, except when he asks them on their group about what they want to do, thus changing arrangements at the last minute.

Example. This is his weekend (an agreed swap where I have them instead because he had a sport thing) This has been cancelled due to snow and now he's asking the kids directly if they want to do something else.
I have no problem with that btw. It would allow me to go to the gym.
The issue that bugs me is that he doesn't check with me first. The plan today was that kids and I were going to go shopping to spend Christmas money and vouchers.
VOTE
YABU. It's ok for dad to use a Whatsapp group to bypass me and make arrangements with his kids aged 10 and 11. They are old enough.

YANBU. It's more respectful to check with me as well before changing arrangements last minute via their (dad and kids) Whatsapp group

Ummm no they are too young it's inappropriate

I think at 10 and 11, I'd be happy to hand over arrangements to the three of them to sort out. Especially if the only plan was shopping which could easily he done another time.

Overnights I'd expect them to be a lot more set in stone, but just hanging out together for the day? Off they go!

My ex DH and I share custody of a 13 year old DD. If plans need to change we contact each other directly. If it's going to impact on the other adult that is the poilite thing to do.

For context. I'm now in a position where I am asking son 1 what time his dad is picking him up, and trying to negotiate with son 2, who is unsure whether they want to do the originally arranged shopping, go with their dad and brother or just veg at home.
Grrr

And this is why it's inappropriate they arnt mates your supposed to be equal parents what happens if you plan a day trip on your regular time? Dad suddenly arranges something and off they go?

My ex (father of my 2 youngest) did this when I allowed dd a phone for contact with him and further away family when she was 8.

He stopped messaging me and started trying to arrange contact through her.

He then had a major go when her hair wasn't perfectly brushed one time He collected her half an hour before I expected him.

Things got so bad I've ended up blocking him on her phone so he has to go through me (now hasn't seen the kids for 8 months or so down to his pig headedness).