Your approach to potty training

[matildaworm]

Dd is 2.5 and I think has been ready to attempt potty training for a while. We've had the potty around, she understands it's to wee on and sometimes sits her dolls on it etc.

For various reasons, mainly not having the time to stay at home for days on end, I've put it off and waited til I felt she was definitely ready but I think next week is the time to bite the bullet. From Friday we will have 3 free days where we can stay at home if needed then hopefully nursery will support it from Monday onwards.

But how do I actually begin? Just take her nappy off in the morning and tell her all wees on the potty now? Would you exchange for pants or just do bare bum for the first day? I have done this before but not for many years (eldest now 11!) and ive forgotten how I started it with him. Only that it was a nightmare.

I just took nappies off them and put big girl/boy pants on and cracked on.
I did put a nappy on for long-ish car journeys but asked them not to wee in them if poss for the first month because cleaning car seats is no fun.

We avoided the potty as I felt it adds an extra step..straight to toilet .
Pants off and to the toilet every hour
Sweet for doing anything

I hated potty training. The key is don't start too early, they need to be capable of recognising the urge, saying they need to go and getting to the potty.

When you start-

Put in pants
Minimal clothes
Potty close by
Try every 30 min
Stickers/reward

You can get books to reinforce what's happening. We tried to stick to no nappy (except at night) but I did put a pull up on in the car initially.

We did it at 2yrs 3m. It was a sunny bank holiday and we spent all the time in the garden with nothing on the bottom half and the potty. He pretty much had it sorted at the end of day 1. I was dreading it, but it was really easy. After the 3 days we put very loose bottoms on (no pants), and he was fine at nursery. We had a couple of accidents a few weeks later when we introduced pants, but nothing major. Lots and lots of drinks were key!

3 days isn't enough, its better to do it when you can take a week off work.

You don't need to be housebound just plan outings and make sure you know where toilets are, get a carry potty, have a couple of changes of clothes with you.

It wasn’t a huge deal. We just said “you’ve seen us do wees and poos on the toilet, it’s time for you to do that now”. Both my kids did the thing where they go and hide for a poo so we said when they feel that feeling they should go to the toilet instead.
My first grasped it immediately and just straight onto the toilet. We had a little loo seat insert to put on the loo so he didn’t feel like he would fall in.
My second we took to the loo every hour or so and praised him up when he did even a small wee on there. He was a bit nervous about poos at first so I sat with him and reassured him and he was fine.

Then my DH took them out for a day and forgot about the “taking to the loo” thing. He (DS) wet himself twice, wasn’t very happy about it and realised he had to let us know when he needed to wee and got the hang of it.

When we were out and they’d announce they needed the loo we had a daft song where we said “hold it hold it” like the Jaws theme and then we’d get to the loo and sing “let it go, let it go, let the wee go down the loo” to the frozen song (which was popular at the time)

I feel like 3 days will be enough for her to get the general idea. I'm not saying she will have cracked it in 3 days but the nursery have said they will support our methods and help her with it while she's there. Also think seeing her peers use the toilets will probably be good for her.

We very gradually started when my daughter was around 2, when she would tell us once she’d done something in her nappy and immediately wanted it changing.
Started by introducing the potty but absolutely no pressure with it.
Then she started to tell us when she needed a wee/poo and I’d get the potty, but if she didn’t want to I didn’t force it.

We ended up skipping the potty almost entirely and I just sat her on the toilet (eventually getting one of those seats with the steps up)

It took longer for her to do a number 2 on the toilet so for a while I put her nappy on just for that as she was holding it in and getting distressed.

But again after a few weeks she just did it.

They key for her was no pressure or rush but trying her on the loo/potty every time, and lots of praise when she did do anything on the loo.
Setting time aside to ‘train’ her really would not have worked but obviously every child is different!

We had a toilet adapter like this so a padded seat with built in steps. We changed to only using pull ups and DD knew what it was for and we would go for a 'try' 30 mins after eating and drinking, and before and after we went and before bed and out just at home, I had some sparkly stickers and she could stick a small one on the tiles if she did a wee and a big one if she did a poo. At 2.5 years she just told me one day she was a big girl now and "no more nappies" and that was it.

We also had a folding seat that could be used on other toilets when travelling but although it was handy, would occasionally move and pinch her leg painfully so we stopped using it and she just held on to me.

Mine both did a lot better using the toilet than potties. We had one of those toilet seats with a toddler seat attached and a step, we tried potty for a bit with limited success but toilet was the answer!

Talk to her about using the toilet when you’re in the bathroom, use story books and take her out to choose nice pants. Then yes, just leave the nappy off and get her to sit frequently. Don’t expect her to go straight to telling you every time she needs to go, you will need to direct her to start with. Personally I found it easier to use a seat on the toilet because adding a potty just creates an extra step to being fully trained. If they already know what the toilet is for and see you use it, then it’s easier for them to copy you. Go to the bathroom for every change after an accident so that she learns to make the association.

We never used a potty either after I was at playgroup and a mum whipped one out and her child dropped a turd in full view of everyone else - the smell nearly made me gag and I thought “there is a reason we shit in private”

Thank you for the advice. Just to ask, did most of you stay home or close to home for the first few days at least? A friend asked if we want to go to soft play at the weekend but although there are toilets there I feel like it might be a bad idea because she'll get so absorbed playing that she will forget and an accident will be almost inevitable.

By this stage we'll probably have only been doing it 1-2 days so is it best to decline?

I stayed at home with DS dor 3 days. I think he had pants on, but knew about the potty. It was a bit hit and miss, but then I worked out it was because he preferred a proper toilet to a potty, and once I said he could use the toilet instead, it was miraculous. He just got it and we never looked back (day and night). He had seen the older children using the little toilets at nursery, and I think he wanted to be like them. I was relieved that I never has to carry a potty around, although I carried a change of clothes for a while. Good luck!

We also had the Pirate Pete book, which DS loved!

We stayed home for the first 3 days and then had to get on with it as DS went back to nursery. It was not easy and we had many accidents. We are several months in and DS still has accidents when distracted so soft play might be tricky in that first few days. Worth checking with your nursery about not wearing pants - we started without them at home and then sent him to nursery in loose clothes but nursery insisted on pants from the beginning so we had to change our plan.

We had the Thomas the tank potty book - DS loves it! And we use the toilet too and not a potty.

We did it on a 4-day weekend shortly after she turned 2. Previous attempt failed as she refused to sit on potty. We got a fun potty that looked like a toilet and had a flush button and left it out for her to play with it. We knew she was ready to start as she pulled her nappy down to do a poop in the garden (copying our dog!!)
Day 1 and 2 she was naked from waist down, we stayed at home. We were lucky that she just got it immediately.
Days 3 &4 we put leggings on/no knickers and did a few short trips, we got a carry potty again fun shape that she loved.
She stayed with just leggings/no knickers for a couple of weeks before she started wearing knickers.

I think it's easier to potty train in summer as you can spend time in garden, and there's less layers in the way to use the potty.

She quite naturally progressed to using a toilet within weeks .

We went for the slow method and worked very well for us (we tried the quick one before and it was a disaster from day 1 so we had to stop).

We used cloth training pants for about 6 weeks everyday at home and nursery. It could have been less, 3-4 weeks were probably enough, but that was the timing that worked for us.

It means that he was getting wet but his clothes weren't soaked, and he learned to recognise when he needed to wee and tell us when he was wet.
We were also encouraging him to sit on the potty regularly (before and after sleep for instance), and I think nursery was putting him at the same time as the others. He only managed 2-3 wees in the potty during that period.

Then we removed the training pants, bribed him with rewards lol, and he got it immediately. We didn't have to put him every 30 min or anything, he was just telling us when he needed to go from the start. I think he also learned to hold with the training pants which helped a lot.

We did one day with no pants/trousers on, then a day with just trousers (ones easy to get on and off) and then a third day with pants and trousers.

We did this because she was finding it hard to get both her pants and trousers down and was ending up weeing on her trousers.

We did naked from waist down first

then trousers no pants (commando)

then pants.

Apparently jumping straight to pants can be confusing and feel like a nappy and also it’s an extra layer to remove if they are in a hurry.

lots of talking about listening to body signals and celebrating success.
remaining calm and neutral for mishaps

Can I ask a stupid question... with boys, do you get them wee standing up or sitting down?!

I've got a 2 and a bit year old and not yet started potty training, but hoping to do it in the next couple of months. He knows daddy stands to wee and has a couple of times wanted to do the same (although not actually weed), but getting him high enough/stable enough seems impossible. But if f he's sitting will his willy not just sit on top of his thighs?!

As a mum of a boy we opted for sitting for a LONG time. The aim is a struggle!

DS is 4 (5 in march) and still often sits unless out somewhere with child size urinals then he might do an ‘advanced wee’ as we called it we leave it up to him now as to his preference but he chooses to sit mostly.

Also to add regarding positioning,

We just from the beginning reminded him ‘penis down’ and he’d point / direct it down when sitting.

Agree with this. Love the innocent supposing that everyone can just take a week off at the drop of a hat.

Good luck OP! Love how she is sitting her dolls on the potty 🤣

I found house training the labrador easier personally but kiddo got it in the end.