Child come back from supervised contact with scratch

[Concernedmumofboys]

My 4 year old had his second supervised contact with his dad today. When I picked him up he had a large scratch on his face that no one could explain. Previously when he had unsupervised contact my son would sometimes come home with scratches on his face and back, these were sometimes deep. Am I right to be concerned or just overreacting? We're back in court in a couple of months to reassess the situation.

I'd be concerned too, where was/who supervised?

Where was the supervised contact? In a hall, at someone's home, did they go outside to play?

Is he generally a bit clumsy or very active and often has scratches and bruises or is it only when there?

If he came home from Nursery or a family member you are comfortable with having him with the same marks what would you do?

Have you taken pictures? Do so, chat to your son over the next few days, children give more information away while chatting, rather than being questioned. There should be no unexplained injuries.

At 4 can your child talk how did they say it happened?
How did the Dad say it happened? I know your saying "no one can explain" but surely they must have come up with some explanation?
Does he have a cat?
I would be very upset too especially if this is happening regularly and they can't explain it, and I've got 2 active boys who are often full of bruises but we always know EXACTLY how they occurred.

It was supervised in the community by a social worker. I wouldn't be too concerned of it had happened at nursery, but they would usually have an explanation. He never gets these kind of scratches except after seeing his dad. It's supervised because of his temper and previous lashing out, but the social worker should have seen if he'd lost it. It was at the library, and he doesn't usually have scratches and bumps. I did take a photo, I don't directly see Dad (restraining order situation). Son couldn't say how it was done and social worker said Dad had no idea.

The social worker wasn't supervising very well were they?!?!?! Wtf!
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

How could the supervisor have missed this? Are his nails trimmed? I see young kids at work scratching themselves with raggedy nails quite often.

The fact social worker said dad didn’t know implies they weren’t supervising very well!!

I've supervised family contacts before, and supervising in the community is much more difficult to watch everything than supervising in a room where everything is contained - if you're in a park or getting food there will be moments that you're looking away, even if for a second or two (dealing with a food order, watching for traffic etc)
That said, the focus of the supervision will be on dad's interactions with the child so it's very unlikely that the worker would have missed if it's anything that dad did. Much more likely that the child did something themselves that didn't hurt and so they didn't react for anyone else to notice

I'd be ringing up Monday morning to find out what happened, firstly to the social worker, and if they couldn't answer go above them.

Supervision isn't ordered lightly.

I get your point @Hibernatingtilspring it's just that he only ever has these kinds of scratches after seeing his dad, and he could never explain them before either.

Have you asked your son how he got the scratch?

Yes he couldn't say

@lunar1 if the social worker didn't see anything, what exactly do you think 'going higher' would do - how would their manager know??

The job of the supervisor is to assess the interactions between parent and child and how the parent manages anything that comes up (eg implementing boundaries) If the social worker hasn't seen anything untoward, the contact wouldn't be changed or suspended. At most the supervisor would be asked to be extra aware that he'd come back with a scratch and try and watch out for anything that could have caused it next time.

I'd definately be putting in an official complaint about the social worker to be honest. Could you let us see the scratch? Only if you want to and its not identifying obviously.

I mean my 4yr old is covered in bumps and bruises cos he's crazy but with the history I absolutely understand why you are questioning this. It absolutely could be a coincidence as a child that age will bump themselves and not really recall how but more concerning for me is that the social worker doesn't know what happened.

I'd be asking the social worker how they don't know how the scratch occurred. I got a call from the school about a large bruise on my sons lower leg (standard safeguarding call no I don't beat my DC!) , I didn't know how he got it but he plays in his room sometimes or I'm in the kitchen making dinner and he's in the living room etc, I'm not constantly watching him. In this situation the social worker shouldn't have taken their eyes off your DC, their role was to supervise Dad and safeguard your child.

100% could be innocent and an accident but I'd be questioning further simply due to the circumstances. Dad might not know if he's not used to parenting and wasn't keeping as close an eye as he should've been, but the social worker should absolutely know everything that happened during contact

I would definitely complain about the social worker. What is the point of supervised contact if there is no actual supervision and your DC comes home with scratches?

Sounds like you need to log it with the social worker even if it’s not escalated. Given you have noted a history of these scratches only being when he’s dad then yes, you have grounds for concern.
maybe the supervised visits need reviewing, maybe a change of environment given the outcome of this one.
you’re only looking out for your sons safety, don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking you’re overreacting, even if it’s not a malicious act from his dad it’s way better to have been vigilant given his past.
im so sorry you’re having to deal with this, it all sounds traumatic for both you and your son. You’re doing all the right things so try not to stress too much x

Thanks for all your replies. I'll make sure they're aware of the past history regarding scratches and just hope it doesn't happen again (but how many times have I wished that in the past!). This was the supervisors first shift with this company, she seemed absolutely lovely but that's not good if they're not safe!

A scratch is an odd minor injury to get multiple of indoors and not near animals like a cat isn't it.

Is it like a nail scratch? Or with an implement of some kind but if it was done on purpose the child would know how and why it happened and it would have to be quite opportunistic for dad to do it whilst being watched. If you've got two boys could they have done it to each other if their behaviour isn't stellar whilst with dad?

Does dad have a history of having long nails himself if DS doesnt or wearing clothing that could scratch like a studded belt, large belt buckle or similar if into alternative fashion.

Otherwise I'm out of ideas, just keep a record of it it

I’d be asking for a new supervisor , she obviously wasn’t actually present throughout otherwise she would know the answer .

Keep a note and photos of everything. If he hasn't previously had them I'd just monitor but the fact he has had previous scratches, monitor x

I am a contact supervisor.
Seems a strange injury to happen in a library?!
Given the history too it sounds more concerning.
So this was an agency social worker who was new to role?
Does seem a possibility she was not supervising as closely as she should.
It would only take seconds for the dad to inflict that sort of injury....may I ask how the scratches happened before, if you know?
Could another option be your child claws at his face when with dad due to anxiety/stress or something?

There was never an explanation given before, when I asked Dad would just say I have no idea how that happened.

Never known son to scratch himself.