Felt very disconnected from people at party today.

[iCantStopppEatinggg]

I’ve always felt a sense of disconnect from people maybe because of my childhood/family (feel free to read my previous threads). I went to a kids party today and really tried but was met with a couple of awkward situations such as I was speaking to a mum thinking she was a mother of another child and she was so offended! There were a few really lovely people there but my brain goes to the one awkward conversation. How can I feel more connected to people?

I felt a little upset seeing the other mums they seemed such a tight knit group. Really hard for me to fit in with normal happy people.

I get that sometimes. Other times it flows. It's as much about the pot luck of the other personalities in the room as it is about you. And I bet some of them are going home and worrying about what they said too.

@curtaintwitcher78 thsbk you. Yes that makes sense maybe they are also thinking like I am. I hope the one I confused for another mum is thinking why she reacted the way she did! It was so embarrassing! She said “okkkk then” then moved away. Such an odd reaction. Why not say “oh no, I’m X’s mum, nice to meet u”. They’ve only been at the school less than a year

find a way to keep busy

Take no notice. Maybe she's just rude. Her reaction was odd but that's not your fault. You made an innocent mistake.

I feel disconnected from people all the time. You're not going to connect with everyone you meet and some people are complete dicks.

Oh god, it’s horrid isn’t it

just try to care less! Honestly, it gets easier. I tell myself, none of it matters, it will be over in an hour, just get through it

social awkwardness is a tough one, just breathe, keep trying, identify someone who looks a bit awkward themselves

Thank you everyone! Sorry I didn’t include this as I was ashamed but I found her later towards the end when I was saying goodbye to people and apologised and said I’m very bad with faces. She looked at me like something she scraped off her shoes. Such a horrible lady. But yes I need to focus on all the nice people I met today instead.

is this something you feel you want to change or have you just accepted this? I feel sometimes I just can’t be bothered anymore. I would love to feel more included but I think it’s my childhood trauma that makes me uncomfortable around people and making connections. For now I’m accepting it x

I think you need to do some work on yourself. Perhaps therapy, perhaps books on self esteem etc

No it's not something I want to change because I'm fabulous. I won't get on with everyone I meet because that's impossible but I'll talk politely to you. If someone is really rude to me, they safety fall in the dick category and I move on.

I wonder if this is just your interpretation of her reaction? Could it be that you are overthinking this, because of your own insecurities? If this is not the case, it sounds like she's just a very rude person, so don't give her a second thought.

The other mum was weird for getting offended and making it into a big deal. I couldn’t care less if someone mistook me for another child’s mum, I’d just correct them and move on. I don’t think you made it weird, she did!

I feel like this too OP. That woman sounds awful.

I attended some baby groups when I was on maternity leave. I have always been a socially awkward person and so it was no surprise that when I went to the stay and play the other mothers talked but did not bother with me and I struggled to integrated. I always left feeling worse about myself but told myself to keep going. I wish I hadn't, they just were not my people. I went to a few other groups and met a few nice mums. We had coffee and few times and all went to all their 1st birthday parties, it was lovely. I've never made friends like that. So, if you struggle with some people just move on and try somewhere else until you find the click. I would not give that women you spoke to the time of day again ! Just know your not alone. I suppose that other women could be socially awkward and did not know how to handle the situation. ! Its hard to know. I think more people feel the same way than we think Xx

You can't change rude people unfortunately but you can change your reaction to them. I would have said quite bluntly and confident in response 'well it's a simple mistake to make' with a tone which turns it around like she's the wierd one. Don't shy away or feel bad about a simple mistake like this. Just move on quickly from people like this and just think she's rude and that's her problem.