Or am I not ready

[Sackitoff]

So, exh and I split up around 6 months ago (although we weren’t actually together for years before that) I have started talking to a lovely man who also has a child which I have met, however I feel like my children have been through a lot. I have the kids most of the time so rarely get to see him but I am liking him more and more. We have been speaking now for around 2 months I have met him whilst I have been alone. I really miss him on the days I cannot see him because obviously my kids come first. When is the right time?

Six months minimum. Like waiting for bread to rise. Rush and it will fail. Give both parties time.

6 months is very soon to be dating regardless of the circumstances of the split; and your yearning for him on the days apart does highlight this (yes I've been through it twice and the first time I rushed in with someone new). It's far too soon to involve children, not least because of the proximity of your separation and the potential hurdles you have ahead in this relationship. 2 months in, you don't really know what that future is.

I don’t understand what you mean about splitting up 6 months ago but already having split up years before.

The timescale matters to be able to answer properly

I would put your children first for now. I'm mean, I'm sure you do anyway. But they need you to be present and focusing on them.

Yeah, I didn't get that either. I took it to mean that the divorce was finalised 6 months ago, but that they hadn't been together for some time prior.

The right time is when you worked through all the bullshit of the previous relationship. When you understand what you will and won't tolerate, what you will and won't give and what your red lines are. If you haven't done the inner work, it doesn't matter whether it's been 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years.