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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do I do.

4 replies

Efundisclosed · 03/01/2025 00:06

im Currently on the phone to my now ex boyfriends ex girlfriend. All I have to say is a lot has come out. During my relationship with this boy, he would constantly ask for sex. Before we got together, we were making out in the back of his car and he kept suggesting sex to me. I told him no a few times, and he finally gave up but kept complaining at me afterwards that I gave him blue balls and in the next days would tell me how painful blue balls are. A few days later, we had sex while I was fully intoxicated and fell asleep half way through (waking up to him still having sex with me) and we had sex a further two times before getting together. We had sex many times while I was heavy drunk and I was pressured into sex a few times. He would also make sexual jokes around my friends and family even though I told him I was uncomfortable. When I told him I was uncomfortable with the jokes and pressuring of sex, he said it was fine then became distant with me and would still pressure me into sex. We broke up because I kissed my closest friend while drunk (he was there and had sex with me afterwards) and now speaking to his ex girlfriend (who he lied to me about) and everything happened to her as well. What I need help with is wether I should go to the police. His mother is a police officer and he wants to go into the air force. I have no photo proof unfortunately and most of his ex girlfriends SS are deleted because she’s too scared to come forward (he’s very charming, even my friends are wrapped around his fingers) so I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
livlangdown · 03/01/2025 00:12

This is so awful to read, so sorry that you went through this. Please go to the police, along with his other ex girlfriend. This is rape and he sounds like a disgusting sex addict and rapist. I'm so sorry. Please report him before it happens to more women x

mamajong · 03/01/2025 00:19

I'm so sorry you've gone through this. First off I'd recommend you search for and talk to your local rape crisis group, they can support you with the emotional side and help you reach a decision if you want to contact the police. They won't pressure you, it's a deeply personal decision, but they can help you to get your thoughts in order and signpost you to get the support you need and deserve. You need to put you first, again I'm sorry you've gone through this. X

Tiswa · 03/01/2025 00:23

I remember your previous posts about him and yes he is definitely a rapist talk to rape crisis and if you feel up to it report it together

as an aside I remember you are very young blue balls is not a thing and this was all on him being sexually abusive and coersive and I think very much love bombed you

but I am glad he is an ex

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