To end an otherwise good relationship for lack of words of affirmation

[Pineapplepears]

I’ve been with DP for about a year.

We are compatible, fancy each other, have fun together and a good sex life.

he is very kind to me, but rarely ever says anything romantic to me. He never remarks on my appearance. And the only reason I know he has feelings for me is because I’ve had to ask him outright. He does show affection in other ways and treats me well. He has a different love language I guess. He just never volunteers any words of affection and it’s really getting me down.

I get really upset about it at times, then forget about it because our relationship is so good in all other aspects.

but I feel foolish for being so open about my feelings when I get little back.

Would it be ridiculous to end a relationship because of lack of compliments?

It sounds like you might just have different love languages. Have you actually told him that you want more compliments?

What does he say when you tell him how you feel?

often not much. He will hug or kiss me, but not say anything.

Depending on the context, he will say he feels the same, is very serious about us and sees a future together, but I do feel sometimes I have to pull it out of him. And it’s only times when I’ve asked him directly- it’s never volunteered.

he does say he isn’t comfortable talking about emotional

I haven’t- I know that sounds pathetic.

but it doesn’t feel sincere if I have to make him do it.

I try to encourage it by giving him lots of compliments, but he doesn’t seem to take the hint

My partner is a bit like this. At one time I was questioning if I would stay as well.

Has he got better? A bit. As the relationship has grown and deepened, he has become more open with his feelings. Surprises me with lovely compliments now and then.

At one time I did tell him the lack of compliments bothered me. He's never going to be the most romantic but he does try more now. Have you sat down and spoke to him?

Don’t be hard work. If something makes you unhappy then tell him, I doubt he can read minds!

DH compliments me about once a year. We’ve been together about fifteen years I think. I can live with it.

This is upsetting you, and if it’s bad enough to end it, it’s bad enough to have an honest conversation.

@BrionyM i think I have to let him know how much it’s bothering me.

I’ve mentioned it a couple of times that I would like him to tell me how he feels about me without me having to ask- he says he’s sorry and he’ll try harder. He seems genuine about this.

I think in that case I'd gently mention it and also are you complimenting him? I feel like setting the tone helped in a way as well!

Your man sounds lovely otherwise and I'm SO glad I didn't give up on mine in similar circumstances.

If he doesn't listen at all then I'd be rethinking though. Like you I care about some words of affirmation but have accepted he'll never do it as much as me. Saying it once then giving him space has resulted in him doing it more himself.