Would this put you off seeing him again?

[NYX0]

Been on 4 dates so far with a guy.. been going quite well. However, he mentioned that he would like me to come round to his house if I feel comfortable doing so and we could watch films. He said I could come round this weekend. I told him I was going out Saturday for a few drinks and maybe into town with some friends. He said that's fine, come round after. He said he's doing dry January though so obviously I'll have been drinking and he won't have. Would this put you off?

no it wouldnt
but it would sober me up

That's down to personal preference though, when people first have sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with him asking but it would be a red flag if he keeps begging the OP to go round after she'd said no.

Yeh that would put me off. He wants you to go and shag him when you’re pissed after a night out and he’s sober. Which is a bit desperate and off putting really.

Don’t go round after drinking. Do it another night. If he asks again after you have said no this would put me off.

Some people go for drinks and don’t get drunk. (Not me) 😁So maybe he thinks she is one of those people.

I genuinely don’t see the problem with him inviting her over. Unless she doesn’t actually want to have sex with him at all and thinks she might be vulnerable to making an error of judgment. Is that what thy issue is?

It's up to OP when she wants to have sex, but most women I know would not be happy to have sex with someone they've met 4 times. They are still in the getting to know eachother stage. That does not mean that OP has decided that she doesn't want to have sex with him ever!

I think he's already being a bit pushy. OP has made it clear that she's busy and he hasn't taken the hint a dropped it. If he was really that keen to spend time together then could suggest that they do something on Sunday afternoon. They can easily 'watch a film' together another weekend.

I wouldn't go round to a sober person's house for any sort of date if I'd been drinking all afternoon because I find the gulf in mental states quite jarring (whichever side I'm on).

It wouldn't put me off in general because - unlike most people on this thread, strangely - I don't feel offended by the idea that a man I'm dating wants to have sex with me. Would you all rather your dates didn't want to touch you?!

After four decent dates, I’m actively pushing for sex, because I’m auditioning for sexual compatibility. Nothing worse than falling for someone and discovering you’re incompatible (or they’re awful) in bed.

But if I were on a night out with my friends, I wouldn’t be curtailing it regardless. Sex can happen at another time, that suits me.

@Pninnette If you want to 'audition for sexual compatibility' that's no problem, but lots of people (particularly women) don't do that, they want get to know someone properly before deciding whether or not they want to have sex. Lots of people don't compartmentalise the physical and emotional sides of sex, and I don't think that they should be 'actively pushed' into sex that they aren't ready for. Maybe they want to be in a relationship first, and that should be fine too.

I'm not saying that OP isn't ready, maybe she is, but she said, 'it's going quite well', which indicates that she's still making her mind up, rather than she's red hot for him.

Oh, I think she’s absolutely right not to beetle over to his and have sex on the night in question, when it doesn’t suit her.

I’m just saying that I (when single) used to want to sleep with people early on to ensure I wasn’t falling for someone with no compatibility. It’s not necessarily a ‘dastardly man trying it on’ thing.

Lol

The fact he invited you round his house? To me that's normal.
Or because you'll be drunk and he won't?
Or because you feel it's going to lead to sex that you're not yet ready for?
If it's the latter then that's understandable. But if you do actually want to go out with him then surely going to eachothers homes is the next step. Then potential sex, but not unless you feel like it.
Basically I don't see much wrong with the situation personally.

I agree. I would know within the first few minutes of meeting someone if I wanted to have sex with them or not (it’s 99.9% not)

I don’t think I have to wait a certain number of dates for it to be ok, it’s always ok.

(If both are free and single and hurting nobody)

🗣ne-nah ! ne-nah ! Booty call alert! (And not very original either)

I personally wouldn't go but it's your choice.....