To ask about allergies at a birthday party?

[Lindaful]

My 5 year old is having a birthday party this month. Should I be directly asking the parents of the children invited if there are any allergies, or would you assume if a child has an allergy then the parent would inform me when RSVP'ing?

It hasn't really crossed my mind until now in the rush to get the invites out before the Christmas break. I used an invite provided by the party place that didn't mention allergies.

I would ask, most parents will tell you but there’s always one who doesn’t think to say.

Best to ask as it helps to remind people! If you haven't then just follow up when people RSVP.

Where is the party?
Your house or at a venue?
I found parents of kids with allergies tend to get in touch

I always assumed they'd tell me, if necessary? Wouldn't you, if you had a child with allergies?

I would normally ask when acknowledging RSVPs, but IME people are usually good at letting you know.

I'd ask but having said that, if any kid ends up eating something they shouldn't, that's not my responsibility.

I always ask. It's not on the invite but when a parent messages me to say their kid can come to the party I reply with something like "That's great, DD will be pleased. Does X have any dietary requirements?"

Really easy and no room for confusion then. I've got a rough idea these days for her closest friends and am pretty lucky that it's just a couple of the kids are vegetarian and a couple halal. Much more straightforward than my friends (celiac, dairy intolerant, vegetarian and vegan amongst them!)!

I would always ask. But then I have a child with allergies and would always tell the host and see if I need to provide food .

I’ve never asked in the 8 years of parties. I just assume they’d tell me. I would if my child had an allergy.

I have a child with coeliac disease and also a nut allergy. Nobody every asks and I always bring food for them as even if they say they will cater, I don't always trust that they will.

But it's totally on you to provide the information, not on the host to ask.

Yes, I didnt say otherwise?

Well, you said nobody ever asks, as though they should. Why would they?

If the party place hasn't even put it on their template, I wouldn't be sure that they've given allergies or other dietary needs much thought.

For your own peace of mind (as nobody's 5th birthday needs to be memorable for a medical emergency), I'd send a Whatsapp to confirm details/acknowledge RSVPs and asking for people to let you know if there are any allergies or dietary requirements and you'll check with the venue.

Yes I wasn't moaning about it- just a reference guide for the OP as she is wondering whether she should.

I would ask when acknowledging RSVPs.

I have always just added a note on the invites. One year we had a child with soya, nut, gluten & diary allergies. I found appropriate food and then they were a no show 😂

but yes, I would assume if there were allergies and it wasn’t requested on the invite that they would let you know.

What a paranoid interpretation!

That poster just commented that no-one has asked at parties her kid is invited to. That's relevant information for OP who is asking if its the done thing to ask.

I always asked - same with play dates “any allergies”- v simple question

I always ask ("Please let us know of any food allergies or dietary requirements") because I expect someone to be polite enough to answer if so.
Kinda surprised a lot of people don't think it's on them to ask at all.

Would you not bother mentioning your child's allergies (if they had them) if you weren't specifically asked? How odd.

Not just allergies but also any food avoidances (pork, beef etc).

Something like “please do let me know of any dietary requirements or allergies if you haven’t already”.

At my son’s third birthday there was a little girl with loads of allergies (we don’t know until the party). The parent didn’t tell me and couldn’t eat any of the food as they didn’t know there would be food at the party. I felt awful and we amended to suit.

My son has had a good friend who is coeliac, one with egg allergies, one with dairy allergies, one with nut allergies, one who wouldn’t eat pork and a vegetarian. Best to ask!

@KerryBlues Some people don't even let you know if they're coming or not, as I've learnt after organising a few parties, and sometimes a reply text simply slips the mind during a particularly mad week. It happens.

With class parties, I've done my own invites and asked on the rsvp if there are any food allergies.

Allergy mum here. I think the vast majority of the time they will be in touch.
I always contact them as my daughter has complicated allergies and most parties I provide her food and cake.

She's now in reception and what typically happens in her class is when the parent posts a reminder please can you RSVP for numbers adds a "and if theres any dietary requirements let me know" comment