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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting dogs at my garden party?

41 replies

TheDaringPeachHiker · 02/01/2025 14:11

My son's friendship group are quite close and my husband and I are quite close with the parents. Each new years for the past 2 years there's been a get together. In the past, it's been at other people's houses and it was our turn this year. The others who've hosted before have dogs, but we don't really want them there lol. I live in Australia btw so it's quite warm, and we were able to host an outdoor gathering. But I still didn't expect anyone to bring dogs to the non-dog household. The first family rocked up, and they had their two dogs with them. Two other families did the same. None of the families mentioned anything about the dogs.

About 5 minutes into the event one of the dogs took a dump on the grass. One of the other owners said "Why don't we just do a sweep for any gifts at the end and pick it up then", which everyone agreed to. I will admit, they did clean up everything nicely and there wasn't any poop left by the end.

However, what also irked me was that, during the fireworks at midnight, one of the dogs (a black labrador) went absolutely ballistic. The parent said to the kid (one of my son's friends siblings), "take rocky inside so she calms down". The kid went and watched iPad or something inside, but I feel it's a bit disrespectful to just invite the dog into the house. It did leave some fur etc over the couch which was a bit of a pain. I spoke to the owner and they offered to pay for cleaning and hoovered the couch lightly themselves.

AIBU for thinking this is just a bit entitled and rude or am I just out of touch with reality? They did pick up the poop at the end but still...

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 02/01/2025 14:13

It’s fine to not to want dogs in your garden. People should of course ask before they bring them.

You may have to accept people don’t come / leave early as a result.

eg no way I’d be out all afternoon and to midnight leaving dog, I’d have to leave after 4 hours.

Doggymummar · 02/01/2025 14:14

Out of touch I think. It wouldn't bother me if people brought their dogs, sounds like it was an all day event. You can't leave dogs alone for that length of time

Newbie5652 · 02/01/2025 14:15

You say in advance "No dogs please" then dog owners plan accordingly. You knew these people had dogs so you should have made it clear they shouldn't bring them.

BIossomtoes · 02/01/2025 14:17

The longest we’re prepared to leave our dogs is four hours so we probably wouldn’t go. We’d want pre warning of fireworks so we could take the dogs away well before they started.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 02/01/2025 14:19

YANBU but if you know you are inviting people who have dogs it might be a good idea to make it clear the dogs aren’t invited so people can accept / decline / arrange dog sitters as needed.

However, I wouldn’t expect a random dog to be taken into my house at a garden party without explicitly checking even if dogs were welcome outside,

GreyBlackBay · 02/01/2025 14:19

Absolutely up to you if you don't want dogs there and I think the owners should have asked.

Youd have to expect the dog owners to not come or leave early though so if you don't mind dogs in the garden I'd let them.

Its not fair on the dogs to have them out during fireworks if it upsets thrm though. That's poor behaviour from the owner and just assuming it was OK to take the dog inside and onto your sofa is very rude.

Sounds like it'll be a few tears before you're due to host again so I wouldn't say anything until next time.

ShesNotACowShesAFox · 02/01/2025 14:20

TBH its reasons like these im dubious of being friends with dog owners. So fucking rude and to leave shit lying around is disgusting

Gizlotsmum · 02/01/2025 14:20

Your house/garden your rules. I would always check before bringing our dog and if he couldn’t come I would sort out alternative care for him or one of us would stay with him.

nellythe · 02/01/2025 14:20

I might have misunderstood but if it’s your usual group and they usually take the dogs to the house hosting the gathering, then you probably should have made it clear ‘no dogs’.

PotatoBreadForTheWin · 02/01/2025 14:20

Newbie5652 · 02/01/2025 14:15

You say in advance "No dogs please" then dog owners plan accordingly. You knew these people had dogs so you should have made it clear they shouldn't bring them.

This. You should have said in advance. I wouldn't want dogs in my house or dog shit on my lawn either. They were rude to bring the dogs inside.

As a PP said, you need to accept that this means that people won't come because of their bloody dogs 🙄

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/01/2025 14:21

Leaving dog shit on someone’s lawn all afternoon is disgusting.
I imagine you had yellow patches on the grass afterwards too.
How bloody rude. Would never assume like that.

2024onwardsandup · 02/01/2025 14:22

I take my dog everywhere- but if it was someone new I would check -

Even if they said was okay I would ALWAYS check before he went up on sofa

Even with my good friends I still always check if okay on furniture

2024onwardsandup · 02/01/2025 14:23

But I also don't think it's outrageous if they just assumed

Also - you should have just said actually can you pick up the shit now

Fraaances · 02/01/2025 14:23

I am a dog lover. Have had dogs my entire life. They are not handbags and I would NEVER take them to someone else’s place. (If I’m not there I would want them to be at home guarding the place for a start.) I am so sick of people anthropomorphising bloody dogs! The fact that FOUR dogs showed at your place and no one asked is so weird. Also, they thought it was okay to bring one INSIDE??? No fucking boundaries, manners or common sense.

LouisvilleSlugger · 02/01/2025 14:23

We are happy to have dogs here (we have one ourselves), but leaving shit is just not on. Our guests always pick dog shit up the second it happens.

I think you should specify if dogs aren’t welcome.

bridgetreilly · 02/01/2025 14:25

I think if dogs have been at the previous events you should have specified not at yours. But for a NYE party, that is quite restrictive. I don’t leave mine for more than three or four hours.

No33 · 02/01/2025 14:27

Fraaances · 02/01/2025 14:23

I am a dog lover. Have had dogs my entire life. They are not handbags and I would NEVER take them to someone else’s place. (If I’m not there I would want them to be at home guarding the place for a start.) I am so sick of people anthropomorphising bloody dogs! The fact that FOUR dogs showed at your place and no one asked is so weird. Also, they thought it was okay to bring one INSIDE??? No fucking boundaries, manners or common sense.

I agree. The current fashion to treat dogs like this is bizzare to me.

Itisjustmyopinion · 02/01/2025 14:31

Absolute CFs both for assuming they could bring them and also taking them into your house. I would have asked them to take the dogs home when they arrived and if that meant they didn’t come back then that’s fine. But under no circumstances would I allow a dog in my garden or home.

ThejoyofNC · 02/01/2025 14:33

Newbie5652 · 02/01/2025 14:15

You say in advance "No dogs please" then dog owners plan accordingly. You knew these people had dogs so you should have made it clear they shouldn't bring them.

Um no. It shouldn't be automatically assumed by a dog owner that their animal is permitted to go to another persons home.

OP your friends were rude and disrespectful and should have asked permission. I wouldn't have allowed the dogs to stay and wouldn't have cared if the humans left with them.

dragonfliesandbees · 02/01/2025 14:33

Given the same group of people have brought dogs to the previous gatherings I can see why they assumed it would be ok. I think you should have said you didn't want them to bring their dogs when you invited them.

Leaving the poo collection until the end is grim though, especially with kids around. It should have been picked up straight away and then a quick check at the end in case any had been missed. I also wouldn't take a dog into someone else's house without asking and certainly wouldn't allow it on the sofa.

Tessisme · 02/01/2025 14:34

You shouldn't have to have dogs in your garden or house if you don't want them there. I can't believe anyone agreed to leave the dog shit grenades lying around a lawn until the end of the party. Who wants to pick their way around those while tucking into their hotdog? My SIL's dog charges into our house like a fecking missile as soon as I open the door, even though I have a child with severe contamination OCD. It jumps all over the furniture and has done lovely brown liquid squirts on our rug and kitchen mat. No attempt on the part of SIL to keep it under control and certainly no chance of her not bringing it. She doesn't visit anymore and I can live with that.

BarbedButterfly · 02/01/2025 14:38

I think you just need to say in advance. I wouldn't have come if there were going to be fireworks that night as I wouldn't have left my dog alone, but that is fair enough. I also would have cleaned up immediately and not taken him into the house. That was rude.

In our circle garden party means dogs invited but I still double check.

SnoopySantaPaws · 02/01/2025 14:38

BIossomtoes · 02/01/2025 14:17

The longest we’re prepared to leave our dogs is four hours so we probably wouldn’t go. We’d want pre warning of fireworks so we could take the dogs away well before they started.

On New Years Eve you need to be warned about Fireworks? really?

@TheDaringPeachHiker If the dogs had always been there no previous years, then it was 59/50 really. They should have asked & you should have made it clear they weren't invited. However, on a night known go red Fireworks if the dogs weren't invited I'd expect them to make other NY plans.

re the poop, you should have said, no pl ease clean up straight away and fo a sweep at. The end, there is the hose pipe/ bucket to f ff lite the wee do it is less likely to leave patches on the lawn.

you embarassed your guest into hoovering up & offering money for cleaning because of a few dogs hairs?! I expect this will be the last time hosting any of them will be an issue.

SnoopySantaPaws · 02/01/2025 14:40

BarbedButterfly · 02/01/2025 14:38

I think you just need to say in advance. I wouldn't have come if there were going to be fireworks that night as I wouldn't have left my dog alone, but that is fair enough. I also would have cleaned up immediately and not taken him into the house. That was rude.

In our circle garden party means dogs invited but I still double check.

Another one that needs 'warning' about Fireworks in NYE??

presumably they had them other years and the dog just goes inside.

Screamingabdabz · 02/01/2025 14:43

I’d allow well behaved dogs in my garden but have said absolutely no to dogs in the house. Ugh. Greasy dog hair, faeces, drool and God knows what else on soft furnishings - no thanks. They were CFs but too late now. At least you know to state categorically that there are absolutely no dogs to be brought along next time.