Losing dummy at 3 months

[makingdecisionsforme]

DC2 has increasingly been waking up from naps and over night sleep because it's fallen out. In the past few days he has barely slept over night at all because he has a cold and the dummy prevents him from breathing but he has no other way to soothe himself. I've taken him into my bed for cuddles and where I can replace the dummy all night but I've decided maybe he would be better off without it.

Has anyone got any tips? I'm happy for him to have it in the daytime but at nighttime it's really preventing him sleeping and when he's unwell he needs sleep especially,

Of course no removing of the dummy until he's better.

I guess people will jump on and say IABU to remove the comfort from a baby but I've also heard after 3 days they forget about it altogether. Does anyone have experience here?

anyone

I guess it's a matter of suck it and see.

All children are different and will react differently. Can you swap it for a cuddly/chewy comfort item? They can start teething soon and often need something for comfort in this period.

If he's usually getting comfort from it then please don't take it away. As pp said if he starts teething he'll want that dummy more than ever. Having to pop a dummy back in through the night is just one of those things you do that becomes normal.

I’ve worked with families for many years. Use of dummies has been a frequent theme - but from children at least 12 months older than your DC. At that age cold turkey is the best way - and three or four days is all it takes if you stick to it.

In a tiny baby, I get that having the sniffles makes the dummy interfere with sleep. I don’t think that using the dummy daytime only would really work though. You want the dummy to help him sleep but then at night when you are wanting him to sleep you’ll remove the dummy. I don’t think a 3 month old can tell the time in a way that they would learn your rules of dummy use.

I suggest that you either continue using it as need OR you stop using it completely. You would then need to considers stopping once teeth and first words emerge.

Good luck.

You can get “breathe easy” patches for babies or a Vicks vapour plug in type thing to help with breathing, maybe? If you’re breastfeeding then I wouldn’t bother with a dummy at night at all, you just get woken every 45 minutes when they’re that tiny anyway - bottle feeding might be different - it’s just going to be a very hard few days for you with no sleep, which will be crappy.

Sending sympathy. It does get better!

How does one take it away? I've heard about going cold turkey and having a rough few days but what does that look like? Comforting him by rocking and shushing? He can't have a comforter at night as it's a breathing hazard and he's in a love to dream. He is bottle fed now.

I had the calpol plug in going last night. I do have snuffle baby but forgot about it as he wasn't 3 months so will find that, thanks for reminder. Will also prop his cot up tonight

You have described cold turkey!!!! You find other ways to comfort the baby. Rocking, patting and singing. I wouldn’t do it though. His disrupted sleep will get better when his infection clears up. I would keep the dummy for a few more months.

We never used them, thought it better not to create another habit that might be a pain to break. Children don't need them they just learn familiarity with what they have.

I agree with others, go cold turkey throw them out.

I would disagree, although of course, everyone has different experiences and different babies. My son was breastfed, but still had a dummy even though I was completely against them before giving birth - till I saw how it soothed him. I was very reluctant to throw out something that he obviously got so much comfort from.

Babies don’t lose the urge to suck until around 2 years old so I wouldn’t try to get rid of them just yet, and certainly not “cold turkey”. It depends on the baby, some don’t mind, but some just end up sucking a blanket or their thumb/fingers, which you can’t take away once their teeth start coming in. My son was quite happy to say goodbye to the dummies when he was a little older and we said it was time, so it’s not always a painful experience.

First child sucked their fingers. Second child did not, so we introduced a dummy which we ended up having the same issue as you around 4 months where it was falling out. Baby was unable to self soothe because of being used to the dummy so we removed the dummy and had a few bad nights of it but we encouraged the finger/thumb sucking and it worked a treat. Of course that leads to other issues down the line but it is worth it to get that baby sleeping!

Yes such a delicate balance as I've read up on it a lot and it's easier to lose it now than after 6 months and then you risk having a 2 year old with a dummy. Which I don't want. Which means the 3,4,5 month mark is the sweet spot but I just don't think I can go cold turkey and listen to him cry. DH said he will do it during day naps and told me to go out. It would be a much better world if he self soothed.

We bought a dozen dummies and chucked them all in DC’s cot so they could always find one when they spat one out.

I really don't think you should proceed with offering the dummy half the time. He can't tell that there are day and night rules, definitely not at 3 months old! You'll just confuse and upset him more.

The idea of babies "self-soothing" is a misnomer anyway based on a study which observed how babies settled naturally - only about 20% did it on their own from memory.

If you decide to keep the dummy then I agree with a PP about putting half a dozen in his cot for him to find and pop back in. People in my antenatal group swore by this method, but I'm not sure if they were that young.

Have you tried the snot sucker to clear his nose etc?

We used dummies with ours. They do eventually get to the stage where they feel around for it and pop it back in themselves (obviously yours won't yet). We just used to put quite a few in their cot so they could always find one. They all went through the phase they describe where you have to put it back in for them though.

My Ds gave up his dummy himself at 4 months .. he was interested in his thumb for 2 weeks then got bored of that too .

my advice would be don’t use it as first port of call for soothing .

I just took DDs away at about 3 months for this very reason. Cold turkey
Not much of a fuss as far as I remember

We dropped the dummy by 6 months with DD2 because she kept dropping it and we needed to find it for her. We just binned them all and nothing terrible happened. She didn't switch to her fingers or thumb.

We attached dummy using a dummy clip to DD’s cuddly toy so when we took dummy away she still had cuddly. That was when she was 2 though. 3 dc and only one had a dummy. Only for sleep/comfort. Never for just wandering around/playing/talking. Ironically, she has the straightest teeth with dtd 1 having slightly forward teeth from finger sucking (far harder to break and she still does suck at 13 when tired) and then dd1 who sucked nothing yet had a misaligned jaw and very wonky teeth needing 2 years of braces.

All dc are different so do what works for you and your dc, but I personally wouldn’t rush to remove something that works.

Cuddly comfort items are a massive hazard, this is awful advice!

I find the calpol plug ins really good! I have a 10 week old with a dummy but he’s not obsessed with it and will happy fall asleep with out it, I use it here & there I don’t think it has to be all or nothing this of course depends on your baby! If you want it gone I’d just replace with cuddles like you said.

Ok thanks everyone. We can't get past 45 min on day naps without replacing it and over night every 2 hours when shows it's sleep cycle related and he cannot self soothe. I have been using saline spray, nasal aspirator, difflam, calpol, propped up cot today, used snuffle babe from last night and even nose picker to get those airways clearer. He seems better today and going in the right direction, his throat is no longer horse when he cries and sounds less congested.

As soon as he is better we will go cold turkey. None in day or night. I think he will be less upset during the day as who knows, maybe he cries because he wants it in his bouncer and on walks too. I guess as soon as he can self soothe he will sleep better and it helps him overall, less crying in the long run!

I guess this might be considered sleep training a 3 month old.... if it only takes 3 days and quite a few of you have done it, I will take the plunge! They sleep training from 4 months in US so I will only be a week or so ahead of that.

Hi @makingdecisionsforme did you ditch the dummy, I’m in a similar position and wondering what to do?

@Thisjoyouspeer yes we did as a sleep prop. Started with putting him on an age appropriate routine, where he settled with the dummy. Once routine was established we knew when his 3 naps were due and put him down before he was over tired for his naps without the dummy. It took 2 days and he self settled no problem. Over night we used dummy where we needed to so he got back to sleep but eventually he didn't need it. For daytime we use it for when he is fussy, teething, waiting for next feed (also following what time he feeds so he finishes his bottle).

@makingdecisionsforme thank you so much for the reply, I am going to aim to do the same as ds is just not getting the rest he needs. Your approach makes so much sense about getting onto a routine and then doing it.