Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To block this person?

8 replies

HelenaofTroy · 02/01/2025 11:54

I had a friend through work who I was close to. She and her children became a big part of my life very quickly. I'm an older, more experienced mum and she is younger with young children and seemed to struggle with being single, managing her life, relationships.
I'd do little jobs for her and help her get to appointments because she couldn't drive, sometimes I'd watch her children so she could do a shift at work or collect them from nursery and drop them to a grandparent.
She kind of took over my life a bit at that point. It was silly but I let that happen because I was trying to be kind.

Turned out she was a liar and a drama queen and I felt really stupid that I allowed her to take advantage of my good nature. I called her out on her lies and bad behaviour and she dropped me like a hot stone. I haven't heard from her in months.

Then, out of the blue, she called me the day before my birthday, very late at night. I immediately thought she might be in trouble because she hadn't been in touch and i knew she probably wouldn't call unless she needed someone. I tried to call back and text her but she didn't pick up or respond and hasn't since.

AIBU to just block her now? I hate to admit it stressed me out a bit.

OP posts:
crackfoxy · 02/01/2025 11:55

Yes block her. Do it for your own peace

TwattyMcFuckFace · 02/01/2025 11:58

I mean this kindly but do you think you might have a sort of 'saviour syndrome'?

You got quite deeply involved with all that help you gave and even after calling her out, you're still willing to pick up any crumbs she throws at you.

Block her and let her find another mug.

Actually she's probably already found one, hence not replying to you.

Ginkypig · 02/01/2025 12:00

No don’t get pulled back in.

if it was a true emergency she would have called the relevant emergency department.
she would only call you for a drama queen emergency.

or something like (I’ve spent all my money on luxuries over Christmas)but the story you get told is I got no money due to <insert crisis> iv got nothing to feed the children.
i need an emergency lift/place to stay etc etc

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 02/01/2025 12:03

Yes, i imagine this'll be her trying to see if you're fool.enough to let her back in so you can carry on helping her

Cornettoninja · 02/01/2025 12:06

Yes block her.

You’ve tried to call her back/find out what she wanted you for and she hasn’t responded. Either it was her usual shennanigans or she’s thought better of it and found another avenue to pursue.

put it out of your mind now and put an end to it.

DoloresODonovan · 02/01/2025 12:10

occasionally if I drop my phone on the bed or sofa it will ring a random number,
this can be embarrassing obviously
maybe this is what has happened? she didn’t want to speak at the time, now
she knows you responded, you will be getting a favour based call any time soon

HelenaofTroy · 02/01/2025 12:11

TwattyMcFuckFace · 02/01/2025 11:58

I mean this kindly but do you think you might have a sort of 'saviour syndrome'?

You got quite deeply involved with all that help you gave and even after calling her out, you're still willing to pick up any crumbs she throws at you.

Block her and let her find another mug.

Actually she's probably already found one, hence not replying to you.

Gosh, I don't think you meant that kindly at all, did you?

"Saviour syndrome" by definition means I'd need constant gratitude and recognition from others.
I have empathy but not in a weird dependent way. So no, I don't think my kindness is some kind of psychological disorder 🙄

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 02/01/2025 12:13

HelenaofTroy · 02/01/2025 12:11

Gosh, I don't think you meant that kindly at all, did you?

"Saviour syndrome" by definition means I'd need constant gratitude and recognition from others.
I have empathy but not in a weird dependent way. So no, I don't think my kindness is some kind of psychological disorder 🙄

Gosh, I don't think you meant that kindly at all, did you?

Yes I genuinely did.

Some people do and they can't recognise it in themselves.

Quite often they get shat upon but will still offer help (or want to in your case) even after that.

If this isn't you then fair enough 🤷‍♂️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page