To think it's a bit too much suction and not enough tongue (kissing!)

[Coraxon]

Hi. I realise everyone has a different kissing 'style', but my new boyfriend is so different in style to everyone I've been with (although my 'number' is quite low; under 10).

Maybe the way I kiss is the problem but I tend to prefer a bit of tongue, sensual kisses and alternating between barely-there and harder, faster kissing. In general, obviously it varies depending on who I'm with. I'll suck or nibble on the other person's lips maybe a couple of times during each kissing 'session', but again that varies depending on how long we're kissing for.

My boyfriend sucks a lot. Like, quite a hard suck pretty much every few seconds. I can't really get into a rhythm as he's almost constantly trying to suck on my top or bottom lip. He doesn't use much tongue so I'm not sure if he's not sure what to do or just doesn't like it and he doesn't really vary what he's doing, so I'm finding myself getting a bit bored. If I try to do something different be tends to carry on as he is. I've tried slowing it down or trying to amp up the passion/intensity but after a second or two he goes back to the sucking.

Amy suggestions? Not actually sure whether I'm asking for advice or sympathy...

I think if you're getting bored whilst kissing you probably need to speak to him about what you like as he obviously isn't picking up on any hints

I used to date someone called Henry who did this. Constant sucking with very little else while kissing. Everything else about him was great, friendly face, always smiling, very good at tidying up. He did have a close female friend called Henrietta which made me uncomfortable, but he promised me there were no romantic feelings. After 6 months I thought I'd found 'the one' but my friends sat me down and told me I was actually dating a hoover.

I was very embarrassed and quickly broke things off but I still look back fondly at our time together and I think of him whenever I'm cleaning the house.

I think both sound grim. I do not want to be bitten or hoovered. I do not like kissing with tongues, it is the oral equivalent of cleaning out my ears. It's just tongue jousting and there's nothing about that that floats my boat.

This is a test of whether you can, as a couple, communicate about your differences and make reasonable adjustments to bring you closer together.

You have to talk to him about it and be prepared to walk away from the relationship if talking about it doesn't help. If you can't find a happy middle ground on kissing then you've no chance with any other difficulties in life.

Never write a romantic novel OP.

Oh, not tongue in mouth swooshing round! Just kind of...now this is going to sound awful when I describe it! Just a brush of the tongue against his lip kind of thing or just inside. But no tonsil tickling, I promise! That would make me gag...

And nibbling not biting, but that only tends to happen when the kissing is obviously leading to sex.

My husband used to 'hoover' (while we were dating). It's vile. We had words and went back to basics and we sorted out his technique.

Communicate otherwise nothing will get sorted out.

It's really hard to describe!

Shoop Shoop song

Never underestimate the importance of a good snog. I could never be with a bad kisser.

Say so gently

Being communicative about your likes and dislikes is a healthy thing to establish. How he responds will also be informative for you

I sincerely hope he stops sucking you it sounds gross to me. Each to their own though.

Omg that description of kissing has made me feel nauseous!! Sounds like one of those literature bad sex award nominations!!

It doesn’t sound like your styles are compatible and that would put me off, kissing is supposed to be romantic and exciting and it doesn’t sound like that at all from your description. It would be a turn off for me.

Kissing someone new is weird! Whenever now dh did it not accordingly I pulled away a bit. He got the message and altered his technique.. It isn't really something that's describable ime.

Not sure how long you’ve been together do you really like him and see a future? If so you’ll have to bring it up as your attempts to guide him subtly so far haven’t worked!
For me it’s a big deal, I absolutely love kissing and I’m in a new relationship where we can just kiss for ages and I love it. I’ve also decided not to see someone again over a bad kiss but that was very early on in dating so not same as your situation.
Start conversation off positively maybe say what you like and see if that prompts anything!

Count yourself lucky he isn't doing Tongue Erection at you!

I hope he's got someone new to fill the emptiness without you. Nature abhors a vacuum.

🤣🤣🤣

My now ex just opened his mouth as wide as possible, clamped himself to my mouth and thrashed his tongue about, no movement of lips. Just plain weird.

I feel your pain