Ex partner

[RedOtter91]

So my ex and I broke up . We have a 10 month old together. We have never lived together. We were going too but his behaviour has been awful ever since I fell pregnant (was an unexpected blessing contraception didnt work)
So when I was 12 weeks pregnant he threatened to take me to court not once but twice for full custody if I didnt move in with him he also made out that "just don't want to be a single mum and only want the benefits" really randomly and shocked me alot but I guess I excused this as his own insecurities as I couldn't fathom why he would say that. He lives in very close proximity to his parents who do nothing but belittle and criticise each other. He is very close to his parents (man child) and whenever he is around them he is the exact same and would belittle and criticise me over really petty things. I've told him several times that I don't want our child around such behaviour from him or his family. But he won't stop he even criticised our baby on the way he crawls (Baby crawls and drags one leg) and he was like "why is he doing that retard crawl" which honestly made me want to throat punch him (obviously I didnt)

He is one them that moans he is missing out on his son bit barely makes any effort he will only come once a week claiming he is "too tired as he has a hard physical job" but can go to his friends or pub straight after work. He hardly provides anything for him either.

He is always going on about him taking baby to the pub with him or to adult parties where everyone will be drinking because his "friends wants to see baby" never anywhere more baby friendly.

Anyway he wants to take baby out for day and wants overnight contact too. I personally think having baby for a full day straight away will stress baby out, ex doesn't really know our baby and vice versa. He doesnt know his cues or what he can and can't eat, routines etc.

So I suggested that he puts more time in to get to know baby like taking him out for a couple of hours more often then build up from there.. He has only took him out once for a couple of hours. Am I being unreasonable

I really want our baby to have a good relationship with his father. But I am struggling to trust him to take good care of him just by knowing what sort of person he is.

Is he on the birth certificate?

And I would get your baby checked by a doctor - it could be a real problem from your description.

Yes he is on the birth certificate. Baby doesn't always do it, he can crawl normally

"just don't want to be a single mum and only want the benefits"

He lives in very close proximity to his parents who do nothing but belittle and criticise each other.

He is very close to his parents (man child) and whenever he is around them he is the exact same and would belittle and criticise me over really petty things.

I've told him several times that I don't want our child around such behaviour from him or his family. hahaha I'm surprised you even said this, like it'd make a difference.

criticised our baby on the way he crawls (Baby crawls and drags one leg) and he was like "why is he doing that retard crawl"

He's a bully, he's grown up in a household of abuse, that's what he has learnt, that nasty, and argumentative and vitriol is the norm. This guy isn't going to suddenly turn into dad of the year. He will decide your child when they don't do well, if they trip on the pavement, it'll be because of that "retard" leg, this won't be a happy relationship for your child growing up. Everything will be taunts, pikes, jibes. There won't be any supportive (I'm behind you all the way, you can be anything you want to be) type environments for them. This guy is a prize prick; because his parents were prize prices, and that's all he's known.

Your baby is so vulnerable, 100000% always put his wellbeing first over the feelings of this irresponsible narcissist.
good luck, I can see how it feels complicated for you but you’re doing great by the sounds of it x