To think "bollocks" *is* a swearword inappropriate for children

[Mamagiraffe]

Having a bit of an argument with STBXH and I'd appreciate a reality check on whether or not I'm being unreasonable.

YABU- bollocks is a perfectly appropriate word to send in a meme to an 11 year old boy

YANBU- bollocks is an inappropriate word to send in a meme to an 11 year old boy

Bollocks is swearing

Classy.

The word bollocks will be the least of your worries when he starts seniors

Well clearly I don't think it is- I'm sure you can tell why he is an ex.

Definitely a swear word!

It's only mild swearing and I'm pretty sure one of those that evades the watershed. Certainly sure it's used in 12 rated films

I wouldn't have an issue with it around an 11 year old

He's at seniors already. He clearly will be saying things he shouldn't with other kids but do you think it's ok for a grown man to encourage this? His dad?

Actually, depends on the content of the meme and the intention

I don't think it's the crime of the century, but I wouldn't send a meme to an eleven year old with the word bollocks in it.

At 11 occasional mild swearing not a big deal for me.

If the meme was particularly entertaining/relevent to the child at 11 i would expect them to hear/see swear words but know not allowed to say them.

If he was just saying bollocks instead of communicating properly ie "nonsense" ir "i dont believe that" then it would be more annoying.

I went on a Brexit march with my kids (aged about 8-12) and they got given "Bollocks to Brexit" stickers. They were thrilled and still remember it. So, all in all I think it's not the worst word and probably OK for a meme.

It's not great, but not that bad either. I assume there's other things that are making you mad

Everyday offhand Happy New Year and all that Bollocks (a Rick and Ade in Bottom picture for context). To me, I find this normalising the swearing since it's coming from his dad. There's other things which are colouring my view of his parenting overall which is why I need a bit of a sense check on this one. As someone said upthread- it is mild swearing but I'm being made out to be a Victorian shrew for this being the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

When I was an 11 year old GIRL I used the word. But as far as I remember we didn't use it when boys were around. I think I probably thought it was a word like 'dick' or 'willie' which we used among ourselves
(Edit - before anyone comments, yes boys obviously knew and used words like dick or willie, but we didn't use them when they were with us.)

Sorry I just chuckled to myself as I had a flashback to saying bollox to my DF when I was probably year 6 and the look on his face, the cool calm what did you say, so naive me repeated the word before I realised what I said 🫢

I think it fully depends on circumstances and lifestyle. Are you a family that swears, allows a certain level of relaxation around rules during a joke moment, or are you a strict no swear words family.

i come from a large joke telling fecking this and that Irish family. Although children aren’t allowed to swear as a rule if it’s slipped out in jest or shown as part of a meme it would be allowed. Used in anger or an insult absolutely not.

Even as adults we have rules, I could swear like a sailor to my DF as an adult but I’d never swear in front of my aunts or paternal grandparents. My maternal grandparents taught me most swear words and mocked my mother for not letting me swear as a child.

My nearly 8 year old knows some swear words, understands they're not to be used and can perfectly well ignore them in songs/films etc. I'm sure your 11 year old can overcome this 😄 sounds like you're just looking for reasons to be annoyed at your ex.

That's fine imo

And swearing is normal.

It's clear you're actively seeking issues and this is one to let go

Chalk it up to 'different house, different rules'. I wouldn't do this myself but some of my best friends (wonderful parents) would use stronger words around 11 yos in certain contexts

Well, I wouldn’t be keen on it, but it’s not a hill I’d die on, as he’ll hear this and much more at school.

Co-parenting is hard and you do have to pick your battles to avoid all out war which is destructive to everyone. I’d just ask your ex not to make a habit of it.

It seems the voting is skating around 50/50 largely so I'll accept that it's arguable and there's no clear answer.
I'm not actively seeking issues I've just had enough of alot of things and this really pushed a button for me. I will bow to Mumsnet. Thanks for the sense check folks

In a meme? It's fine. I wouldn't have a problem with such a mild swear. There are other words that are far more offensive - like toilet or pardon.

I'm sure an 11 year old is familiar with the word and others similar. Ligma and deez being current ones...

His dad’s job is to prepare his son for adult life. Proper use of profanities is a crucial skill for any young man.

I'd love to but since he's on my sofa in order to facilitate his contact it's not. I am actively seeking this as a resolution but alas this may be expecting too much.

😶

This wouldn’t bother me at all as a funny meme to an 11 year old in high school. It would be a different story if he was 6