Want to move closer to family, DP doesn't.

[FTM1993]

My DP and I have lived in the North for 6 years now having moved here for work (not knowing anyone here at the time). We have made some friends here in that time but our close older friends (from uni and childhood etc) are scattered around the country. We recently had a baby and I am on maternity leave for 12 months. My parents and siblings all live about 2 hours away and we regularly see them, but now that we have DS I am finding that I am longing to be around my mum and sisters more for that family support as we are very close. I have made friends with other parents through baby groups and it is still early days with this new phase of life, but I am finding the friendships I have here very surface level and am finding motherhood quite lonely if I'm honest. I have told my DP that I am finding it tough and it would be great if we could move closer to my family so that we have some more support but DP does not want to do this. DP does like my family but not enough to move closer it seems. In my eyes, there is nothing really keeping us in the town we live in as DP works from home and DP's family are an hour away anyway so we could still see them just as regularly as we currently do. I am trying to make the best of it where we live but part of me feels like this call to go 'home' won't leave me. Has anyone else ever faced similar or have any advice?

I would keep pushing to move tbh!
i lived near two hours from my parents and we moved 20 minutes away nearly ten years ago. Near but still far enough🤣
It’s great for support with kids. Can you not sell it that you could get more time as a couple. Reduced child care costs possibly. I could understand if his family was near by, but if you have no one and no ties to the place then I can’t understand his attachment to the place you live now.

Early motherhood is pretty lonely.

You say you are in maternity leave - would you be able to take your job with you? Or would you quit your job?

Also, how available are your family to actually be around on a day to day basis? If your parents work and your siblings work you could move only to still not see them very often.

I would have to go back to work for an initial 3 months after maternity leave so Im not talking about an imminent move, I just would like my DP to be open to the idea I guess. My parents are retired, two of my sister's are also on maternity leave and the other works flexibly. Maybe that is making it worse, as my other sisters meet regularly for coffee with their LO's and I feel I am really missing out,.and that my LO is also missing out on growing up with his cousins.

I don't think it's unreasonable for you to want to be near your family as a new mother. I would keep having the conversations with him and try and get him to see your point of view. Is he worried that being close to your family will mean they'll be dropping in all the time, while he's trying to work from home? Encourage him to be open and honest with you about his reasons and any worries.