Work angst - AIBU

[NewYearAndNotOnADiet]

In what circumstances do you think it’s appropriate to either deal with a colleague directly or tell the manager?

I’ve had a recent run in at work where a colleague’s slack work practises meant 2 of us had to repeat their work on top of our own. Just what you need around Christmas! After this I went to the manager and told them that this person needs additional training to make sure they are following the correct processes. I didn’t complain about them. I just suggested they need to go over what needs to be done in the hope they’ll do it!

Later I had to put customers on hold as this person was stood near me using bad language and the person I was speaking to heard it. This has happened before.

So, later that day another thing happened which meant I and my colleague would have to step in and finish off the work. I highlighted this to my colleague in a professional way, but they got personal with me and so I called them out on it. I initially did this in private, but it happened again in public and I called them out there and then on their behaviour.

Apparently now I’m in the wrong and am being reported by them for bullying and I think a couple of their friends will back them up. Someone said I should have just told the manager, but TBH it won’t get sorted.

AIBU in that not everything needs to go via your manager and HR, especially if you know it won’t get resolved. If it’s about work, then yes. If it’s getting personal then that’s for me to stop, not wait for the manager and HR to deal with weeks later.

You were wrong to tackle it in public
however the other issues sound aggravating and your colleague’s lack of skill / training needs to be dealt with

Yanbu in theory but the issue with doing it without a manager or hr being involved, is you find yourself in a you said/ they said situation with you being at risk of getting in trouble if the other person complains about how you’ve handled it

Yes, unfortunately this is not the only incident or issue. Serious staff cuts have resulted in less managers, less staff and little training. As a result there are some people doing everything, and others taking the proverbial and some really unprofessional things going on.

I feel I dealt with the work issues via the manager, but I’m a grown up and feel that if it’s personal to me, I should stick up for myself.

Someone did actually come up to me who was there and said “well done you for sticking up for yourself”, so I’ve reacted, not attacked.

Unfortunately the majority of issues do need to be referred up, because employees are not given authority usually to comment on other employees. Was the call recorded that they swore in? If so, send the call time log to HR. The person supporting you, ask them to write down what was actually said. Then refer upwards yourself to say working relations have broken down and you need help or distance from this individual.

It’s confusing because I once told my manager in an end of year meeting that someone we worked with was doing zero work and we were all covering for them, and I was told that I’m an adult and empowered and I should be able to tell my peers that I’m not happy with them.

And now, I’m out of line and should report everything.

Absolutely think you should address certain behaviours right away as long as you do it professionally and calmly. Like a PP said, if you have someone supporting you it would be useful to have on record to back up your version later.
It's lazy and too convenient for your colleague to claim "bullying", which we all.know is something else entirely.

Shit manager alert! No, you should not be addressing someone else's performance instead of your manager doing their job.

Oh and stop picking up the extra. If they won't pay for the staff or training then the company needs to take the hit.

I addressed the work performance issue with my manager directly in a calm and professional way. I suggested to them to arrange for additional training.

The direct bit was me addressing “dirty looks”. I’m not 12 and it’s totally unprofessional to treat your colleagues like that.

Me going to the manager and saying “ I don’t like their tone and they are giving me dirty looks” felt too high school for me.

I think you need to just rise above "dirty looks". If you've pulled someone up on something they've not done satisfactorily, they're hardly going to be all sweetness and smiles. Just stay calm and professional, and accept that you're not their favourite person. Pick your battles, so that you are not put at risk of them saying you are bullying them: factual issues about work not completed properly are reasonable, but looks/tone are more subjective and so less easy to justify as necessary.

I know I should rise above dirty looks.

I just felt very disrespected. I’m correcting your work on top of my own, my customers can hear you swearing, I’m answering their phone and explaining away where they are because they are on another 45 wander and then I’m getting dirty look and childish comments.

It has highlighted other issues to me. I’m sick of the extra work, and the lack of discipline in many of my colleagues and it feels like the monkeys are running the zoo.

I need to start just doing my job, and highlighting that the job isn’t done and they need to complete their part, rather than a few of us just finishing it.

I've had a similar issue and I went to my manager who did nothing about it and said "you're a more experienced and professional staff member, we're aware of that but the other colleague is different and you need to get used to working together. Next time speak to them directly with concerns "

So sometimes you can never win.

I think you're better off moving somewhere with better management and colleagues, where you'll be appreciated.

Serious staff cuts have resulted in less managers, less staff and little training. As a result there are some people doing everything,
this is a business decision that is having a knock on effect on you and customers. I would raise your concerns to management in writing the effect you see it happening but ultimately it’s their call if they want to cut corners / do things differently to how you would in a perfect world of limitless budgets. It doesn’t mean you have to take the extra pressure and you can continue working ‘to rote’ or if it’s better for you mentally / could lead to career progression you can ‘lean in’ and accept it. Or start looking for a new job.

but agree with others - you need to rise above the dirty looks hard as it is.

It sounds like a crap place to work.

but rise above it. The swearing you report your manager because your concerned the customer heard and could complain

do you have to re do their work? What’s the issue if it’s left? How do you know they’ve done something wrong?

If you have to redo, then email the manager and colleague to say hi colleague
i noticed x wasn’t done, I’ve not done this for you, just in case you didn’t know here’s a helpful guide on how to do this task

and do this for every single thing, whilst being sweetness and light.
I’d be quietly quitting whilst looking for a new job

Yes, it is a crap place to work now. It wasn’t always, but it’s just deteriorated bit by bit, death by a thousand cuts.

The convenience and hours that I work suit my childcare, but some of the things we have to put up with are a joke.

NY hasn’t got off to a good start with this bad feeling hanging over me and I really don’t appreciate my family time being taken over by an incident when I’ve literally worked my arse off.

I’m tired.

Today I’m angry. I’ve already started looking for a new job. There doesn’t seem much about, but I’m updating my CV today and I’m going to be actively looking.