First new year in sobriety / recovery - please give me some encouragement

[Nooyead]

10 months down, hasn’t bothered me all that much for the last few months but Christmas and new year have really affected me. It’s all I can think about today. I keep remembering how awful I was in active addiction and I’m sat sipping a cold juice.

Any words of wisdom or encouragement? I am determined to stay sober for the rest of my life after hitting my rock bottom several times.

Alcoholism is giving up everything for one thing. Sobriety is giving up one thing for everything else.

Hang in there OP, you're doing great and it's just one night to get through. One day at a time. I'd get bathed and in my pj's and into bed. Why not check out an online AA meeting. They will be running 24/7 xx

Have an early night and you’ll wake up in a different mindset hopefully.

Thank you! Honestly I found the first hours, days, weeks torturous. Past month 1 I started to see and feel the benefits (losing weight, relationship, the loss of all the anxiety and embarrassment). I used to mostly drink in secret so people thought that was my ‘personality’, they saw me bubbly and fun and excited etc. they didn’t see the afterwards, the suicidal thoughts, the self harm, the puking on the way to work hungover, the severed friendships and relationships and risky behaviour. Many rock bottoms such as downing pre mix cans in the toilets at work and having to shove the empty tins in to sanitary bins, I was a bloody mess.

I guess I sort of feel I’ve lost myself, even though that was never me at all. I miss that feeling of the first drink, but unfortunately I would chase that feeling for the next 5,10,15 drinks.

im proud of myself and know this is just a blip but it’s so hard to avoid at this time of year. I guess I keep repeating in my head I’ve never ever regretted a day I haven’t drank. But my GOD have I regretted days I did.

I am so proud of you, OP! You are brave and determined and you have done so bloody well already. The first 10 months is an absolute eternity, but you have fought through it. Now, this will probably be the toughest time of year for you, but you already have ten months under your belt, so you know you can do this. Don’t just sip that juice; slurp it with abandon! Enjoy how fresh and cold and delightful it tastes, and how it will not leave you feeling sick and achy, and will not take away your sense of control over your life. The juice isn’t just juice - it’s a symbol of your strength and your ongoing achievement. The fact that you’re drinking that juice says that you are in this for the long haul, and that is really extremely admirable.

I wish you a life filled with opportunities to open a celebratory bottle of the fanciest, most delicious juice you can find. Every time you do, remember how much you’ve achieved, and how much you are still achieving every day.

Don't think about the rest of your life. That is, hopefully, a long time and sobriety can seem daunting. We're all just thinking about the next 24 hours - even the next hour at a time.

Play the tape forward - you can always choose to have a drink. Nobody is ordering you not to. But a single drink leads to a physical craving and to disastrous consequences, and the cycle starts again.

You have beaten the cycle, a day at a time and you can continue to do so.

Think of waking up sober and happy in the morning - and proud of yourself.

10 months is amazing, and you can go into 2025 clear-headed

I have just had a herbal tea with a traditional Swedish festive sweet bread. The latter is a tradition here. You can make sober traditions that are still fun

This made me cry. Thank you so much. I’ve not really been ever able to tell anyone the depths of how bad my drinking got, so nobody understands how monumental by sobriety is for me.
thank you. Xxx

Thank you all I’m sat crying happy tears here x

Well done! Proud of you!! What a gal 😊

The first year of quitting anything is the hardest. Just imagine how fantastic you'll feel next year going into your 2nd year sober, or 20 years from now going into your 21st year sober. Future you is thankful for the work and willpower you're showing. You are capable. ☺️

OP nobody ever woke up the following morning, wishing they’d drunk the night before. Plenty have woken up the following morning wishing they hadn’t.

You can wake up tomorrow full of regret and sorrow, or you can wake up tomorrow thinking "thank fuck I gritted my teeth and hit thru it".

New Year's is shit. It's just another Friday, think if it that way.

10 months is amazing! well done!!

Christmas is SUCH a hard time for anyone in recovery and look at you, you've only gone and got through your first one you little trooper!

Just look how strong you are - you're clearly going to smash 2025 xx

Wow! You’ve done amazingly 🙏 It makes sense that this time of year is a struggle/trigger. So just take it hour by hour, the night is nearly over, go to bed now if you want, cuppa tea and a book for a bit. Before you know it it’s 2025 and you made it.
I wish I had your strength ❤️

You have SO got this.
In two short hours it's next year and you are going to start that year full of vitamins from that juice instead of regret and hungover embarrassment. What am amazing gift you've given yourself.
10 months sober is incredible work. I hope you feel suitably proud.

It gets so much easier, the frustrations at not being ‘able’ to drink stop coming back or if they do they are more fleeting. The feelings of anger and thinking I wasn’t that bad (spoiler, I was) stop. Life just becomes easier, easier to navigate because the guilt and the shame and the parts of the days you don’t remember no longer exist. The constantly having to be perfect to make up for being an alcoholic is unsustainable and just impossible. I love that I no longer automatically think I am the person who is wrong in any minor disagreement purely because I am hungover and full of anxiety. I like who I am now which was such a unattainable concept before.

Huge kudos to you op, you're doing incredibly well and should be very proud of yourself. There will be difficult days, there will be temptation, but you can do this. Another one feeling very proud of you right here! xx

Well done! I’m coming up to 2 years sober myself. It may not feel like it now, but you’ve done some incredible work to get this far.

Two things I would say, just focus on getting through tonight and into tomorrow. Christmas and New Year really are a time when it feels like we’re missing out and it’s easy to get massive FOMO. But come tomorrow when it’s all Dry January and detox and groaning about the week long toxic come down from the festive period, YOU will be the one who is all smug and ahead of the game. The FOMO will disappear and you’ll feel so grateful for these 10 months.

There’s also so much great Dry January content out there. Obviously aimed at people who are just giving up or are only doing a month, but I think January is a great month to absorb it all and refresh your commitment to sobriety. And it’s so much easier for you because you’re already doing it (everyone else is also a good reminder of why you don’t want to go back to those early days - they’re shit!).

The second thing, do you have a sober community? If not, now’s your time to find one. It makes a real difference having sober friends and real people to talk to about all of this. I like Bee Sober but there are lots of groups you can find on Facebook or Instagram, or there is AA if that’s your thing.

Thank you 🙏 you know what it’s sort of passed me by in a way like I said I can’t really ever tell anybody close to me how bad I was (for many years) I’d drink in secret constantly, I’d be drunk when partner got home etc and he’d never know. I was that awful and sneaky.
so I’m almost not really acknowledging the achievement cos if i did I’d have to tell people what a massive dick I’d been for many years haha!
im still relatively young(ish) so im glad I’ve turned it around now. Obviously I cannot take it for granted and it is definitely something I think about in one way or another most days.
I definitely don’t feel at risk of having a drink in a physical sense it’s more the feeling today is like I feel completely left out of ‘life’, most people are having a nice drink, relaxing, enjoying themselves.
I guess I’m sad for the fact I could never be a moderate drinker and enjoy it. BUT you’re all right I need to focus on what I’ve gained, not what I’ve lost.

@Nooyead I am sober too this evening. Just for today, as those in recovery tend to say. But this is my 10th continuous sober New Year’s Eve.

I am proud of you.

What are you doing to help your ongoing sobriety? I am not asking to trip you up. But you mention not talking about the depths to anyone. Sobriety and recovery can be very different things. Putting down the drink is an achievement. Putting the work in to overcome what made you drink is ongoing. Keep sharing and as another poster said I can still play the tape forward. It’s a common AA phrase.

Love to all the sober sisters out there.

Wow this is so strange it’s like I wrote it myself. This is exactly how it feels!

I’m 24 years sober and I still remember how brutal the first year was. You’re doing brilliantly, take it an hour at time and the urge to drink will pass. Just remember how far you’ve come.

I felt like an imposter for a long time when I stopped drinking (after turning a delightful shade of yellow) and had to rediscover who I was without the alcohol and it turns out that I’m actually quite a nice person after all.

Be gentle with yourself but most of all hold your head up high and celebrate how far you’ve come x

Wow congratulations that’s a massive achievement I am in awe. You’re right, my life is so chaotic and busy (stressful job) that I’ve not dedicated really any time to the ongoing part in terms of a community. I’m also a very very private person and this definitely holds me back from sharing. I guess I’m glad I can be anonymous on here and the relief that I’m not some sort of alien and others have done similar things actually really helps.

You are doing well OP you don’t need alcohol to celebrate.

Hope the next year is good for you.

You have got this. You've done so well.