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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried to leave my dog

66 replies

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:19

Dd has got to the age now where she wants to see the fireworks on NYE
We live a 5 minute drive from the beach, where we’d be able to see all the fireworks going off from nearby huge displays. They last around 10
minutes from after midnight. We’d be out of the house 25-30 minutes at most.
But I hate the thought of leaving my dog at home alone. Usually when they go off she barks a lot and hides under the bed, she hates it, but at least i’m there to calm her and be with her.
I hate the thought of her being scared and we’re not there.
Dd is desperate to go, it’s an amazing sight on the cliffs of the beach

What would you do?

OP posts:
Dotto · 31/12/2024 21:43

Your husband is a cruel fucker for not staying home with the poor dog this time.

Zanatdy · 31/12/2024 21:44

No I wouldn’t leave the dog. Mine is scared, so I am staying in

Ylvamoon · 31/12/2024 21:45

Fleurdalys · 31/12/2024 21:32

Did you even read the ops post?
Her dog is scared of them!
Ffs folk like you astound me

Read my post again! This time apply a bit of reading comprehension...

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:46

@Dotto I haven’t asked him. If I said I wanted to go, i’m sure he’d stay, it’s just easier for me to stay

OP posts:
Orangelight23 · 31/12/2024 21:46

Rubbish situation, you of course can't leave the dog if it is that scared.

My DH has raised the subject of getting a dog. I am dead against it, having to put the dog before kids is shit.

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 21:46

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:46

@Dotto I haven’t asked him. If I said I wanted to go, i’m sure he’d stay, it’s just easier for me to stay

I smell a martyr burning.

Onlyvisiting · 31/12/2024 21:48

Don't leave the dog, not only is it unkind but she could easily do serious damage to herself or your house if she is in a blind panic.
Anyone you know who is known to your dog and who would dog sit for an hour?

Fleurdalys · 31/12/2024 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AppleBlossomMay · 31/12/2024 21:49

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 21:46

I smell a martyr burning.

Maybe the dog is more comfortable with the OP. I'm my dog's favourite person, it makes sense I'd stay with her rather than other family members as she feels safest with me

Bogginsthe3rd · 31/12/2024 21:50

It's normally Ddog. Bring Ddog along to beach

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:52

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 21:46

I smell a martyr burning.

What you on about? Ffs

I’m closer to her, am more likely to know how to keep her at ease and not wander off into the garden for too long leaving her for too long.
Dh had his mum pass away recently, Dd has been really ill, I want to go to be part of it all so badly but probably they deserve to more.

OP posts:
MsWillis · 31/12/2024 21:52

You leave your dog knowing she's terrified?

Your "DD" is old enough to know her pet is terrified. What kind of person are you bringing up?

Dotto · 31/12/2024 21:53

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:46

@Dotto I haven’t asked him. If I said I wanted to go, i’m sure he’d stay, it’s just easier for me to stay

Why is it easier for you to stay instead of him? Edited - cross posted with you

Shame. The perils and duties of being a dog owner then I guess

MsWillis · 31/12/2024 21:54

Que loads of tragedy to excuse.

Do what you want OP. Ffs.

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:55

MsWillis · 31/12/2024 21:52

You leave your dog knowing she's terrified?

Your "DD" is old enough to know her pet is terrified. What kind of person are you bringing up?

She’s not terrified, she’s like probably the majority of dogs and doesn’t like the fireworks and hides under the bed, she does this when it’s too windy too or if a door or window slams shut

OP posts:
Whatabouthow · 31/12/2024 21:56

No, you can't leave the dog home alone absolutely terrified. Often dogs are better in the car though with the engine and radio on, so can you watch them from the car and take the dog?

Purplecatshopaholic · 31/12/2024 21:57

GCAcademic · 31/12/2024 21:20

No way would I leave a dog who is terrified of fireworks alone in the house when they're going off.

This. No way can you leave the poor dog.

Itslikefloggingadeadhorse · 31/12/2024 21:57

MsWillis · 31/12/2024 21:54

Que loads of tragedy to excuse.

Do what you want OP. Ffs.

Oh f you. You have no idea

I’m staying i’ve said that. Wanted to see what others did or if there was a way round this somehow.

OP posts:
jhar · 31/12/2024 21:58

Whoah calm down. @Dotto I don't get the jump to cruel fucker when she hasn't discussed it. And I tend to always agree with you, so perhaps a back story I've missed.

He could be posting saying fucks sake, I had to go out in the cold last year, I can't be bothered, she should go but wants to stay with dog.

Others saying they would never get a dog because of this. Again, calm down.

We are farmers, we have many dogs.

The biggest issue here is guns and shooting.

We have between us 26. Two are scared, one had to be rehomed.

It's. It easy but as some PP have said sometimes contained exposure is better. I've sat with collies cuddling them as the shoot goes by and that's easier than alone.

Fireworks are minimal and linked to shoots, aka tonight but we will be in the kennels with the dogs.

The dog I rehomed would not have cared if someone was there or not and would self harm as soon as she heard a bang which developed to a door bang or anything. She actually now lives in a care home as she just wants to be held.

Createausername1970 · 31/12/2024 21:59

If the dog is scared then definitely don't leave it on its own.

My dog isn't scared, and I still wouldn't leave her.

To any people reading this thread who are planning on getting a puppy - please, please, please desensitise your dog to fireworks.

One thing you can do is take them into the garden if there are any going off locally, or at the very least stand in an open doorway or next to an open window so the dog can see and hear the fireworks and can see you are not bothered. There are many other things you can do.

If your first reaction is to start cuddling it or making it a safe space under the table you are telling your dog that there is something to be bothered about. Some dogs may be scared after all your efforts, but most will probably get to where our dog is. Not keen on the sudden bangs, but not scared and definitely not a quaking mass under the table.

You will do your dog a big favour if you can do this one thing for them and help them from a young age not to be scared of fireworks.

jhar · 31/12/2024 21:59

@Dotto cross post Flowers

SnoopysHoose · 31/12/2024 22:01

I want to go to be part of it all so badly
of a 10 min firework display?
get a grip

jhar · 31/12/2024 22:02

@Createausername1970 exactly. Head out but be prepared to hold her. It's going to be the same wherever. But with fireworks she can see them, with guns they can't. I would give it a go. You are sat with her anyway, no difference in car with vision or at home under table

BIossomtoes · 31/12/2024 22:03

You will do your dog a big favour if you can do this one thing for them and help them from a young age not to be scared of fireworks.

This. Neither of ours are frightened of fireworks or thunderstorms because we sat calmly and cuddled them when they were puppies.

Whatabouthow · 31/12/2024 22:04

Createausername1970 · 31/12/2024 21:59

If the dog is scared then definitely don't leave it on its own.

My dog isn't scared, and I still wouldn't leave her.

To any people reading this thread who are planning on getting a puppy - please, please, please desensitise your dog to fireworks.

One thing you can do is take them into the garden if there are any going off locally, or at the very least stand in an open doorway or next to an open window so the dog can see and hear the fireworks and can see you are not bothered. There are many other things you can do.

If your first reaction is to start cuddling it or making it a safe space under the table you are telling your dog that there is something to be bothered about. Some dogs may be scared after all your efforts, but most will probably get to where our dog is. Not keen on the sudden bangs, but not scared and definitely not a quaking mass under the table.

You will do your dog a big favour if you can do this one thing for them and help them from a young age not to be scared of fireworks.

Edited

This is mostly terrible advice. Yes, you want to desensitise your dog or new puppy to fireworks, but this is not how to do it. Uncontrolled exposure to bangs going off is how they get scared. Also comforting them isn't reinforcing the behaviour, it's allowing them to feel safe. The idea you're showing them it's something to be scared of is very outdated.

If you do want to desensitise them, find a video of fireworks on YouTube. Play it at whisper volume for ten seconds and then feed their meal. Make sure it finishes before they finish eating. They should show no obvious signs of hearing it - if they do, it's too loud. Over a few weeks gradually turn it up each meal time until it's WW3 and the dog doesn't care.

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