To regret letting husband have in laws take care of 1year old for whole day/NYE

[Undecidedonusername]

So this is the longest that both myself and partner have had someone else babysit our one year old. Baby/toddler now I guess has been with this relative from about 11.30am to now...and is still there.
I've only just visited their home a few days ago and stayed with my son for most of the time so that he could get used to the home and feel comfortable with the cousin and her two daughters -he seemed happy enough with the girls so I agreed to doing this again but this time I wouldn't go and use the much needed time to catch up on things that need doing round the house - ahead of hosting, I'm airbnb'ing the place and we've just had some building work done too. No one knows we are doing this so the in laws just think I'm using the day for a break / lesson planning.
Husband is helping with a big delivery and unloading so he's not with baby. I had no idea he'd take this long and I did offer to make my way there at around 5pm as I worried it's such a long time for my son to be without either of us. Husband refused and said it would take me ages to get there (over an hour) and to just stay put.
Am I being unreasonable thinking we shouldn't really have used the kind offer of babysitting for this amount of time? That I ought to have gone over? MIL lives not too far away so she's gone over...pretty sure she was expecting to find me there...

P.s please be kind with replies, long time reading all the posts but first post of my own.

Ah it's hard the first time you are away from your baby! If you want him back, go and get him or get husband to go get him.

Personally I think that's way too long for a one year old to be without either parent. I'd go and get him now.

Did your relatives have any idea how long you were leaving your child with them? As much as I would be concerned about your baby, I would be equally concerned that they have been left wondering when on earth you are coming back. Hopefully you have been in touch with them and explained?

Likely hes been having lots of fun, but it does seem quite a long time, I'm imagining it's past his bedtime and perhaps their little ones too now? Usually you'd set a time with the sitters, so you can make sure it's convenient for you both. Have you heard anything from them? Xx

What strikes me is that he refused - why if you want your child back you should get him this is way past his bedtime

when are they due bsck

This would also be my concern.

I can understand you're feeling a bit fretful not having left him before and this is a long time but he's probably absolutely fine and in capable, loving hands and it will be good for him too.

Can you phone or text to just check in to put your mind at rest?

No right answer, op. We all feel differently and all have different babies. You have to do right by you. If you are feeling uncomfortable, go get your baby. I personally still wouldn't leave DS2 alone with family all day yet (and he's two next month).

I'm pretty annoyed with him now. I asked around 5pm and when he said I should just stay put I thought it was because he would be done pretty soon - the job he is working on is with the husband of the cousin who is taking care of baby so it's sort of in their interests that he's around to help and they would be fully aware of the delay.
I started to fret at about 6pm and contacted her directly and asked if all was ok and that I'm happy to make my way if he's getting irritable and she sent me two videos, one from earlier when he was playing happily in the park and one after 6pm where my MIL was with him, he did seem a bit quieter in that second one and now I wish I'd gone. I don't drive so I had to consider journey times etc (about 1.5hrs) and i guess I thought by the time I'd got there hubby would be bringing him back anyway.
I know he'll fall asleep in the car on the way home but I'm worried he will be v tired and unable to sleep without us giving him his very very long sleep routine.

And yes, was assured by 3 different people earlier that he was 'good as gold' was absolutely fine etc so I felt like I was making a fuss over nothing.

So your arrangement was not that you would pick him up but that DH would bring him home when he'd finished the work he's doing? I'd be getting fretful too after such a long time but you know he's being well looked after and as you say, he'll probably fall asleep on the way home and you can hopefully just pop him into bed. Have you messaged DH to find out if he's on his way back?

i hope they made it back for new year and didn’t leave you on your own

I think it's fine and it sounds like you used the time productively.

Unfortunately no, home alone with the cat...got sent a photo of my PFB fast asleep and sleeping through all the fireworks...guess he was just that tired.
They still aren't home....wondering why my husband doesn't realise it's things like this that result in no one wanting to babysit for us!

No i don't think this is too long ... but our children had safe attachments with grandparents because we encouraged the bonding from day 1.

Living in communities and raising children together is natural...

Surely the other thing is why is your husband celebrating new year without you presumably drinking etc and leaving you on your own having stopped you going there

You have learnt something for next time.
You should look into learning to drive, Op, and you would have more options.

Not everyone can drive or afford another car for that matter

at,least you know hes safe and sound @Undecidedonusername isn’t that the main thing.

I agree that it’s unreasonable to leave the kid for this long without clearly communicating with the cousin / relative in advance that the kid will be staying overnight. I also wouldn’t offer to babysit again if I thought I’d be looking after a kid for a few hours/ will be picked up for bed and then ended up for 2 days. Does your child have everything needed there- clothes, diapers etc?

I would be more concerned about those looking after baby. Making sure they are ok. I think it’s fine to leave a 1 year old. I know it’s a long time but every now and then, needs must. We always feel like we have to be with our babies 24/7 but that’s not always practical.

As long as you are checking in and the people looking after LO are fine. Then it should be ok. And when you are back together you Can have a long cuddle!!