mum pissed off every nye. over it.

[cherryontoppp]

every single year my mum rings in the new year with something along the lines of ‘here’s to another shit year’ ‘fuck you all i’m not relying on anyone this new year’ etcetc. this year it’s already begun with telling me she’s ‘fucking sick of you all’ because ive turned down last minute plans because my children have a bug.

no point to this post. just fed up of the negativity.

I'd dodge her calls, personally.

Leave her to it. She can wallow and tanty to an audience of none to her heart's content.

Is she pissed already?

My mum used to do similar. We just ignored it.

Thankfully she is now in her "I'm 70 and killing it!" phase so she's mostly happy.

She sounds horrible and is being emotionally abusive and blaming others for her own misery.

Have you suggested to her that her anger and negativity is not normal and she should speak to her GP about her pervasive negative outlook.

Say"Mum, this is another year you are expressing that you are depressed and pessimistic. Maybe you should see the GP in the New Year"

Turn it back on her. Don't get involved in the content of who doesn't care about who or defending yourself when she attacks.

Just point out her negative mood so say "you sound angry" instead of "but I told you the kids don't want to go" or whatever. Point out the angry tones and angry language she uses and suggest she seeks help with that.

I have a mum like this OP. My life got easier when I started to ignore the passive aggressiveness and just say “Oh that’s a shame you feel that way, see you some time!” Or “Oh well never mind”.

Just about to ring my mother so the bingo card is ready to mark off the usual litany of cries and complaints. Hoping for a full house of self pity bleating and thanks @cherryontoppp I'd forgotten about "another shit year"

Have you had the "what do I have to be happy about?" reply to "happy new year/merry Christmas "?

It's not you. It's so unfair how some people are landed with shit parents.

Protect your energy.

I remember ringing mine this time last year and she told me not to call over Christmas, then when I did that I ruined Christmas for my brother as I robbed it in I’d my kids with me and he had to go to bed (bull shit) then I messaged over new year with photos and she ignored them

(she only likes drama and horrible news)

Gosh I'm 66 and would never ever swear at my adult daughters... especially not like that.
Glad we are a close loving family.
You deserve better .
Happy new year.

I thought that, who uses language like that when speaking to their adult children. Op I think you are right to distance yourself or tell her to google locus of control.

Block her

Completely agree, don’t personalise it (hard to do) so an oh what are you going to do differently this year then?

Your mum sounds like mine, never a positive and always a negative! Personally, I went extremely low contact and now I barely hear from her and her negativity 👏🏻

Send back a thumbs up emoji and don't engage further.

My Mum is like this too, usually when she's had a drink, I don't engage.

text: ‘fucking sick of you too. Feel free not to contact me in 2025 if it will improve things for you. Happy New Year!’

New Year's resolution: go very low contact with mum and anyone else whose relentless negativity pulls you down.

This is why I only send a happy new year text, or else she's class at deflating the mood!!!

OP I would reply back with something like 'well you would be more sick of me if the kids gave you a bug, Happy New Year Mother'

Oh God, my grandmother was like that. A walking bingo card of doom. Utterly deflating. And if you took the "oh, dear, that doesn't sound good, what can I do to help?" line, you got told "what do you care?", despite having tied yourself in knots to accommodate her.

Women who are nice when sober can really show another side when drunk.

Alcohol can make some women very aggressive , sharp, and bitter.

It's an awful drug. Sorry you had to hear that, @cherryontoppp .

My NDN. lost her dh 5 years ago.
She refuses to wish anyone Happy New Year.
If I said it to her then she pretends I haven't said anything. It's weird and also ignorant.
She says it's because her dh died and she can never have a 'happy ' year and she doesn't see why anyone else should have one either

Mine doesn't drink. She’s just as mean sober.

This year's phone call caught her in company so she had to play happy. Ha!