To not go to this baby shower

[IHateNewYear123]

A colleague is having a baby shower.
The cost is £30 each for afternoon tea. Am I the only one who thinks this is a lot?
It is also a fair drive and by the time I factor in a present it’s going to be about £70! Money is really tight in January and I’m wondering if I should go or not.

I wouldn't pay that for a family baby shower never mind a work colleague! Was recently invited to a relatives do at £25 a head. I declined.

Maybe just put cash in a card or a voucher or send a gift.

It's perfectly reasonable for an afternoon tea. However if it's out of your budget put it that way when declining.

Duck out if it’s not an immediate yes. Give her a lovely gift before the shower. Doesn’t have to be much.

Zara kids has amazing stuff at the mo

If they have to aid a dependent sit before you have told those invited the cost and confirmed attendance then that’s on them.

What are all these baby showers about?
presents…. That’s what they’re about. Spending mo ey on frivolous afternoon teas with people you wouldn’t mix with in real life.
£34 for some bland sandwiches & a couple of Mr Kipling French fancies
Present for the parent-to-be…more smellies
Cheap Amazon or B&M tat for playing ‘games’
then a present for the new sprogg
then a card for the new grandparents/aunts/ cousins
Half the world has gone mad with consumerism while the other half hasn't got a pot to piss in.

I'd never attend a baby shower.

I only give a (small, useful) present once the baby has actually arrived.

Agree, this has been my experience. I'd decline the shower but still get a gift.

Are you expected to pay for your own food? I wouldn't assume if I was invited to something I wouldn't have to pay!!

I don't think it's a crazy amount for an afternoon tea these days, especially if it includes a glass of bubbly. I would have no qualms about declining any baby shower though.

Am i the only one who wouldn't actually send a gift if i didn't go to a baby shower? If i went then yes if take something but not if i didn't go. It's not a wedding / christening / birthday.
I would take a gift when the baby is born

I wouldn't unless it was an especially close friend. Definitely not for a colleague

I'd just say apologies you can't attend but that you have a gift for them

Crikey autocorrect did me dirty with that post.

I’ve not been to a baby shower you didn’t have to pay for, in addition to the gift. All the ones I went to were in the last 10 years, though, and in that time both they and hen dos have gotten out of control (I’ve never been to a hen that wasn’t a weekend of activities).

I made it a rule to stop attending baby showers after I worked out what a decade of attending them had cost me. Definitely wouldn’t be going to a colleague’s and I can’t imagine anyone being offended at a colleague saying no. Which would be their problem anyway.

YANBU though - they’re expensive and if your friends are fertile they can really add up!

@Gall10 maybe you know some ridiculous grabby people. My baby shower was organized by my best friends and it was meant be an occasion to have all my close friends in one place, to have one last carefree girly day together, and make me feel a bit special. It is one of the nicest memories I have from an otherwise quite horrendous pregnancy.

I've been to a few other baby showers and they were lovely too. And because everyone was contributing cash for organisers to buy group gifts, I always ended up spending LESS than if I had to buy an individual gift.

£30 for an afternoon tea sounds very cheap. It's an invitation, not a demand. Especially if they're a work colleague, just decline if you don't want to go.