Should I say something to ex husband when we meet with kids today...

[Itsbeginningtolookalot]

Found out over Xmas that ex-husband of around a year made a comment to DD 6 months ago. She has refused to see him alone because of some things that happend where he lost his temper. She is with me full time.

I found out he said to her "I can't wait until you are older and I can tell you the truth and you are going to regret being with your Mum".

For context I left because he was emotionally abusive, the only thing I did was left a marriage I was unhappy in, which I have been completely honest with the kids about.

This comment has really got to me and I can't stop thinking about it. We are meeting up today with the kids and just wondering if it's something I should raise with him Infront of the kids? Just really because kids were talking about it the other day and I don't feel like he should get away with saying things like that.

It's really hard but do try to stay as neutral as possible, at least until they are much much older. My ex had an affair and left for ow. They are still together and the kids always knew the score but over the years all the "script" bollocks has gradually been fed into the narrative and they used to ask me questions about why daddy left. I would just say that people remember things differently and it's best they not worry about any of it.

Grey rock him. Nothing else.

The power he gets is from saying things to them that go unchallenged.

This resonates. He's a bully. If the DC are in formal education ask school if they will consider implementing ELSA (emotional literacy support) for them both.

I would let him know that you know but certainly not in front of the DC.

@Itsbeginningtolookalot Yes challenge him in front of the kids. Shielding them from it just makes it worse as he gets to poison their brains with lies.

But does DD want to see him?? That's the question!! If she doesn't I would cancel the meet ups, he has responsibilities, not rights!

That's an abusive thing for him to say. All you can do is support your child and inform your mediator or whoever has pastoral involvement. Certainly don't allow it to draw you into conflict with them and definitely not in front of the children. That's his poison not yours.

If you raise it you are giving him permission to talk about what he perceives you did wrong. Make sure you know what he tells the kids and tell them the actual truth. Getting into it in front of them is not going to end well.

So glad that you've decided not to say anything to him.

My XH had a version that went “Mum will get her karma”
My reply to this was “Oh God, I cannot wait for my karma to start. It is going to be amazing, please soon!” So we all laughed at his spooky predictions.
Your daughter is in her way to knowing he is full of shit. He can tell her what he likes, it will either be lies, or she won’t care.