Thank you. I'd written a lengthy response to this poster but deleted it out of frustration but this is pretty succinct.
I compared my non-verbal, visible stimming cousin who lives in his own flat supported externally, never had a relationship never suffered any sort of abuse to me, very verbal, don't stim, been abused in every relationship in every possible way, cannot live unsupported, can't even shower without it taking a long time to prepare myself for the hell that is showering or it taking forever in the shower once I'm there because it's a sensory nightmare and highly distressing. I live in fear of my grandmother passing away as she has been a constant source of support in my life that everytime I have tried to live independently and failed she has handled that trauma in ways she did not sign up for and she's done so without complaint.
If we judge severity by neurotypical standards like that poster then yeah sure my cousin has "more severe" autism, but he's unbothered and supported, he understands his limitations, but has never had to work and fight the middle management for accomodations that they push back for, and he's never had to find ways to get out 40k worth of debt that manipulative exes have taken advantage of with, and he hasn't ever had CPTSD coined at him in any way shape or form.
If you look at severity based on how it impacts the individual, in my comparison I definitely feel that I am more significantly impacted. I'm being investigated for autoimmune conditions because of the constant stress of fighting for my needs to be met in every professional setting, in every relationship, I've been through more therapy than I dare to try and count and many of it has been detrimental as it isn't set up for neurodivergents, I've self harmed and planned my own death and reached rock bottom and cried to receptionists, doctors and nurses, crisis teams and samaritans more than any one else I know because I simply just do now know why I can act normal but I am not normal and I just can't do things normally consistently. I've behaved autistically and been held to account of not behaving in a neurotypical way and reprimanded instead of met with compassion. I've had friends and family walk away or hang up the phone because of my tone being off, or because they've interpreted something in my words that wasn't actually said. I've been brought into disciplinaries in work because once again I have said things or asked clarifying questions to gain context of a situation and people have misinterpreted what I have said, and had the fear of God put into me that I might lose my only source of income and ruin not only my life but my partners life by not suddenly being financially valuable but seeing a pattern in how employers treat me and knowing it is going to happen again and again.
I do of course know that some people with autism will never live any life with any sort of independence or autonomy, will never read or write, will never have a romantic relationship, will never work, will never be able to express an interest in something with ease and I hope anyone reading this does not assume this is a race to the bottom, but I'm just replying to this extremely valid point the quoted poster has made in that surely severity is a very personal thing and just because someone's struggles are different to how you perceive them, it doesn't make them any less severe and shouldn't be judged based on how neurotypical someone is.