Son & Partner buying first home shld they take a bigger risk

[Alfierabbit]

My son & his partner in mid 20's both have steady decent jobs They have had an offer accepted on an ex council house in our area where most of their estate is privately owned. (The one adjoining is still local auth and has rubbish in front garden)With family contribution and their own they will have a small mortgage. The purchase has dragged on and as time has gone on I have started to worry about re-sale value as this is a starter home for them and they intend to move in about 5 years. Should they have been encouraged to stretch themselves more?. AIBU to have concerns.? I know they are adults and its their decision.

Honestly, it’s got literally nothing to do with you. Just keep out of it. As an adult I’d find it really weird if my mum was fretting about my property buying choices.

Stay out of it. If I hadn't listened to mil we would have got our house about 30k cheaper as she kept putting me off buying in an council estate

I think it's worth a conversation, I've had them with my children, discussion without judgement and expectation.

My parents watched me walk into a poor property purchase in my twenties and never mentioned anything, I wish they had have done!

Given that a lot of people have been caught out by mortgage rates increasing along with cost of living increases its really not sensible to stretch too far on mortgage. If most the estate is privately owned I can't see that they are likely to have any resale issues, and LA homes are usually good family homes and in demand, eg in terms of space, gardens etc

They seem very sensible, and if they're happy I'm not sure why you're not?

Keep out of it. My MIL was quite sniffy about our second purchase as she wanted us to live in a 'naice-r' area. Easy for her to say when she bought her house for 5 shillings and an orange decades ago, on one income (her husband's).
As you can see, comments like this breed unnecessary resentment.

No you keep out of it, it's none of your business and it's their decision. Not everyone wants to stretch themselves with a big mortgage, a small mortgage leaves them with more money to do nice things such as holidays.

Are you embarrassed they are buying an ex council house?

Have they asked for your advice?

If they ask for your advice and only if.
I wish I’d stretched myself a little bit more. I bought during the pandemic and played it safe because I wasn’t sure what was happening to the world and more importantly my business at the time. I could’ve comfortably afforded another hundred thousand which would now be translating into at least another 150 thousand in equity.
Another bedroom, a garage in a bit more space would be very welcome. But now it genuinely is a bit of a stretch.
I would always advise everybody to Max out on their mortgage capacity. It’s the cheapest loan you’ll ever get.

OP, do you have an issue with ex council houses?

I own one and in the last few days, my neighbours garden was pilled high with rubbish. However, they had only moved in, and I suspect they are clearing out ex neighbours rubbish.

My point is that 1) the rubbish may not be a normal occurrence.
2) Neighbours come and go

Overwhelmingly, the people who live in my neighbourhood are regular, decent people who work. Much, I suspect, like your son.

What is your issue with ex council?

Not your circus, not your monkeys

Keep your mouth shut & your nose out.

It's nothing to do with you & you have no idea what their financial commitments might be.

As expected some replies are somewhat judgemental. The house itself is fine. Its the re-sale value thats my concern. They have asked the opinion of both lots of parents as they are both close to their families.

Good grief - parents should be able to talk yo their childen and have an interest in their lives - it's sad how many people post here saying "keep out none of your business" when it's her son. It suggests many unhealthy and unhappy family relationships which is so sad

Personally I wouldn't encourage people to "stretch" because that can go so badly wrong but you should be able to talk about your concerns - that the neighbours may mean it's a hard house to sell amd affect its future value (although that's a risk with any home ) - is there much else , how much do they like that house as it's a HUGE commitment that people need to get right if they can and listen to what they say back - ask now before they are fully committed

midgetastic · Today 15:55

Good grief - parents should be able to talk yo their childen and have an interest in their lives - it's sad how many people post here saying "keep out none of your business" when it's her son. It suggests many unhealthy and unhappy family relationships which is so sad

Thank you for your more reasonable response Midgetastic rather than the rude 'keep your nose out' from an earlier response. My Dad died last year and wanted some money to go to the grandchildren. We aren't wealthy and if they lose money when they come to sell then we won't be able to help. We appreciate its their choice ultimately.

Good grief - parents should be able to talk yo their childen and have an interest in their lives - it's sad how many people post here saying "keep out none of your business" when it's her son. It suggests many unhealthy and unhappy family relationships which is so sad\

Totally agree. I would never offer an opinion unless asked but surely if the couple have wanted advice as the OP says, you give your opinion?! One of my DCs was moving back to this area from 150 miles away and I did all the first viewings and gave my feedback which they took on board and then did a second viewing themselves if it felt right. I'm sure they didn't want me to 'keep out of it' and keep my mouth shut...
Just because our DCs reach adulthood doesn't mean we can't help them if they want that help.

Really depends on the type and scale of the rubbish for me.

If it's a few broken kids toys and some gardening tools left out and gone rusty, a pile of cut down branches, that's a bit different to a junk yard of fridges and 6 feet of bin bags piled up in all directions.

But there will be a good profit in 5 years so don't worry.

If the rubbish is bad there could be rats. It happened to me. They came from two doors away.

@Alfierabbit - I think they are being very sensible to buy somewhere they can manage easily without stretching themselves. If interest rates go up again, or if anything happens to add to their expenses or cut their income, ‘stretching themselves a bit more’ could easily tip over into ‘can’t afford the mortgage’, and cause them real financial stress.

When dh and I bought our first house, I was working as a staff nurse, but we chose not to take my earnings into account, when deciding how much mortgage we could afford, so that we knew we could afford it on his salary if I stopped working when the babies arrived - it’s the same sort of common sense approach your son and his partner are taking.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to have a conversation with your adult children about something which may not have occurred to them. It’s up to them what they do with the advice of course. Parents have more life experience than their children. Mumsnet always thinks children should stand on their own two feet as fully fledged adults the minute they turn 16 with no help or guidance from their parents ever again!

Are there no new build options in the area? Just from personal experience we’ve found ours to be the perfect starter home, although we are mid-thirties not mid-twenties. They should only look at 2-beds if they intend to sell up and move in within 5 years, it’s not like in the good old days even 10 years ago this would have been normal, not not so much. They should be okay with the idea of staying put. They could lose their jobs or anything could happen.

This is very strange advice.

Buying a house is the most expensive purchase you'll ever make, it's absolutely normal that adult first time buyers will discuss the matter with parents, and it's highly likely the parents will know what their financial commitments are.

What kind of family do you come from that you wouldn't discuss such a major purchase with your parents or family members?

My son and his wife( early 30s) discussed with me the purchase of their first flat and 5 years later their 4 bed house, I went to the second viewing of both properties, advised on certain issues etc.

Normal families discuss things with each other, it's no big deal.

Ditto. I've been asked opinion on all the house purchases of my DCs because they asked me. Not because I wanted to force my opinion on anyone. It really is very normal. That's what parents do.

Why has the transaction taken so long?

Look at the sold prices published by the Land Registry to get an idea of how much houses on the estate have gone up in price.

It's always best to not stretch yourself on your mortgage if possible.

You can advise them but at the end of the day, the final decision is theirs.

Hmm. I live in an ex council house so I am obviously not anti this.

But rubbish in the garden is a red flag. As PP has said, there's rubbish and rubbish.

If it's been there the whole time this has been proceeding then I'd have serious reservations.

Moving costs are very high and so moving up the ladder has become more difficult in the traditional sense. Perhaps you could have more of a general conversation about this.

Reading the property news in papers currently - predictions are for prices to fall in many area eg Savills say prime London will fall 10% over next 5 years - depends where you are but warnings of price falls wide spread because of high Stamp Duty and general economy down turn with new higher taxes/uncertainty etc..