I regret hosting on NYE.

[Surrendertoitall]

Typically, I love entertaining. I love cooking and I'm good at it. I often have friends over to eat. But whenever it's an occasion, and I have people over, I feel really overwhelmed with stress. I had a thing a couple of years ago to celebrate something and had about 25 people around. My stress went through the roof.

I'm hosting NYE. About 18 people including kids. I can't do it by halves, I have to do great food and make sure it's lovely for people. Initially, I went back and forth about doing it - the tousle between loving being hospitable but finding it incredibly stressful too, not just in terms of grub and stuff, but how everyone will get on, will they enjoy themselves, will it be a damp squib etc - but my DH encouraged me. To be fair, he's very helpful on a practical level and does get involved.

Anyway, I was managing the stress but a family has already cancelled (for good reason) and now I just feel ugh.

I guess I'm posting to see if others have this contradiction and how I can embrace it without all this bullshit pressure I put on myself.

Some great advice here, thanks.

And whoever said I was the glue, it's right. I am always the one to put myself forward to host. I should remember that and that people always want to come!

Happy New Year everyone...may it be fun and stress free!

Yes and no 😂 If you don’t enjoy cooking/decorating/hosting, don’t do it! No one cares really whether your sausage rolls are homemade or whether there are fresh flowers and candles.

I guess my advice only applies to people like OP and me who have perfectionist traits and a love/hate relationship with hosting. Baking lebkuchen or arranging flowers or decorating the house, even chopping vegetables, is relaxing and enjoyable for me… if I am not up against a deadline and don’t have a million other things that need doing! Switching to mostly serving things that can be prepared in advance and some shop bought food when I host means that I can do things in my own time and enjoy the activity as a fun thing to do (for me), and enjoy the party because I’m not frazzled. I have had a very enjoyable and chilled day today, pottering around, putting things in the oven, browsing MN while they cook, listening to a podcast while adding a few finishing touches and final flourishes 😂

I think what you feel is very "normal ". I love hosting and tbh I'm in my 50s where I rarely do now because life has moved on for so many people. We lost "the elders" of our family, other family like siblings,in laws,cousins have moved away, our kids have grown up,our friends all have families of their own etc. Sure I do still host but it's rare these days and not in the huge numbers I used to. I know it's hard, I used to "worry " so much on so many different levels....would anyone turn up? Have I done enough food? Is my house clean enough? Will everyone get on?....when in reality people love to go out rather than have the hassle themselves, you're a good cook, of course they will enjoy your food, people will enjoy it, it's NYE! Try to have a good time 🍾✨️🎉

I’m the same with wrapping gifts… Wrapping a few presents and decorating them while listening to the radio with a glass of wine is a relaxing, quiet night in for me, wrapping a gazillion gifts the week before Christmas is my idea of hell, so I try to wrap things as soon as I buy them.

Hi all - just to say that I had a fantastic night. It was honestly the best party ever - I think everyone who came would agree.

It was worth the effort; but equally, I've reflected on how stressed I got, and I'm really going to try and do it differently next time.

Happy New Year all

Yay! Happy New Year!

Maybe make a new year’s resolution for stress free entertaining this year 😂 Try and work out what made it the best party ever and try to cut out anything you don’t need or think of ways to achieve the same things with less stress!

Glad to hear it @Surrendertoitall - I love entertaining but always build shortcuts in ie prep ahead starter and desserts, full wine fridge and only one cocktail, family style dining so I don’t need to plate up and it all helps makes things more relaxing and more fun!