Birthday blues on New Year’s Eve …

[Vcal2017]

I’m equally cursed and blessed. My birthday is 1/1. The expectation is that it’s an amazing day, double the celebration etc etc. however Most people seem to forget, they spend the day hungover and my birthday is an afterthought. I get really depressed about it every year and usually stay in bed staring at the ceiling. It’s like I’ve got a champagne birthday for my porridge personality. My best friend has gone away, it seems my brother and my son have forgotten and im staring down the barrel of another lonely birthday. It feels meaningless and that makes me meaningless too. It’s a public holiday here so there’s nothing open. I’m trying to think of ways to make it nice for myself. Any ideas welcomed. Bit sad but trying to stay chipper.

Still time to plan something nice. It really depends what you like doing .... but I would do things I like doing. I'd buy myself some presents in advance, including something new to wear on the day so I'd feel good, even if just around the house. I would buy myself some really nice food- for me something like a Hawksmoor steak.... and I'd look out a box set/ stream or get a new book (from the library open today). Then, on the day, i'd enjoy a lie in, maybe post on socials then that would maybe lead to online chat with friends/ family. I wouldn't do any jobs- cleaning, laundry, admin etc.
I was widowed when my kids were young so I have organised my own birthdays for years. I do feel a bit sorry for myself sometimes but refuse to be a martyr . I love buying my own presents. You never have to regift them or sell them on Vinted

I’m sorry, OP. That sounds rough. I bet anything you don’t actually have a “porridge personality”, though.

Could you reframe the situation, and make having a lazy, indulgent day to yourself an enjoyable birthday tradition? Get in your favourite treat foods. Make a point of buying a new movie or TV series or a new book to start on your birthday. If you have any crafty hobbies, order a big box of supplies and save them to open on the day and have fun with them. (If you don’t have a crafty hobby, I highly recommend starting one - it makes treating yourself occasionally very easy!) Get yourself a new pair of pyjamas specifically for lounging about the house on your birthday.

And then add in a new tradition of going for a birthday meal with friends and family a couple of weeks into the New Year. Get them to put it in their calendars and send them a reminder after Christmas (this may also prompt them to remember to send a greeting on your actual birthday!)

For this year, I hope your day is as good as possible. Look after yourself, relax, and do something low-key.

Speaking from experience (we have a Jan 1st birthday in the family), we try to plan a local day out on NYD - usually a long country or beach walk and a stop at a good pub (they are often open for a couple of hours). Buy in something special for dinner and spend the evening watching a movie.

I find NYE overrated, although I like the TV coverage of the midnight fireworks.