Grandmother is dilusional

[Crosswind22]

I didn't know what to put this under but wondering how others would approach or think of this situation.

My own Mum completely failed in raising me like really I should be off the rails as my siblings are all addicts and one is even homeless and I believe Mums parenting style had a massive part to play. I sympathise she was a single parent and it must of been tough but really it was used too much as an excuse as to why no emotional support was available. Anywayyyy.

My DC is now two and my Mum may as well think she birthed my child herself along with my partner. I can get over the fact that she has already come on to him because I just know she can't help herself but she keeps saying how much my child is like her in mannerisms, looks and now she's going around saying her and my partner picked my DCs name.. This isn't true. She sends photos of her as a child and says how much my DC looks like her. To be honest my DC barely looks like her me, she is her Dad all over like the image.

My partner humours her but it just winds me up it's like she's having a mental break and trying to start again where she did such a poor job with me?

When I'm not around she acts so weird with my partner like she's parenting along with him and it's so cringy to see. She also gets so uncomfortable when my DC shows affection to anyone but her and tells DC she's sad she isn't cuddling her. Especially when it's me getting or giving the affection but when she sees my partner she thinks it's so cute...

Should I just ignore this behaviour? Or speak up....

I think there's quite a lot to unpick there....your mum maybe knows she messed up raising you...we all become older and wiser as we age....we can all look back at the regret of things we did or didn't do....we all question as we become grandparents, were we good enough parents? Did we do enough?....and maybe your mum is just seeing this as her "second chance".

Whether you tell her or not I don't know. Is it worth it? On the face of it, I'd probably try to find the humour in it as your OH does....you don't say how old your LO is...but she will move onto to school, her own activities, her own friends etc... the times she needs to see your mum will decrease, and she will become more vocal herself about cuddling etc.

I guess if you can't humour her then you'll have to say something? We're all different. I'm not in your situation....I don't think babies etc look like anyone so things like that don't irritate me ....I would know I chose her name etc. I think only you can answer if you can't keep quiet and need to say something to your mum

Sounds like she's adding nothing worth having to your life and potentially could cause issues with your husband and your child down the line so seeing less of her might be thr answer. From what you said about her growing up it sounds like raising your viewpoint with her will fall on deaf ears so perhaps low contact may be best, and your partner/husband should be supporting you by not humouring her.

@Imisscoffee2021 Partner does support me but his sense of humour can be a bit twisted sometimes and while he doesn't always humour her sometimes he just wants to keep the peace. He knows I won't cut her off.. Honestly she would probably harm herself if I did I'm the only one who has regular contact.

@Crosswind22 I do feel for you, glad he is supportive x