To think there are very few decent single men over 50?

[Leafy74]

I'm 55 single and lonely.
I just want a man who is kind, decent and loving to go for walks hand-in-hand in the park, theater trips, meals out and snuggling on the sofa.

Are there any?

YABU - They're all gone.
YANBU - There are quite a few.

I think the ratio of good single women in their 50s to good single men in their 50s is massively against me!

The good news is that you only need one. Go forth and find him!

Where are you looking ?

I read something recently about a woman who decided to treat finding a mate as seriously as finding a new job and it took 6 months to meet a suitable long term prospect.

As pp said, it’s a numbers game so you have to meet as many people as possible

That poll doesn't look good.

Yes...mine would tick all your boxes. Sensible offers considered.

They are out there...

If you find more than one please refer one in my direction cos I'm bloody sick of the one I've got.

Yup, mine's lovely, met him when he was 54 and I was 51. He had the worlds most civilised divorce, so much so that we're going on holiday with his ex wife next year.

If you're looking for someone with no baggage, forget it. Tbh if you're not interested in sex I'd be a bit doubtful too. If you're looking for someone who has got their baggage neatly stacked in order and you like sex, there are enough.

You are right about ratios and that is at all ages. Plus ask yourself as well, would you date you ?

Quite a few of my friends divorced in their late forties/early fifties, plus my sister was sadly widowed. There was some online dating and meeting in real life. I would say 3 were successful in their eyes.

The only man that was a mate that divorced (his wife had an affair) was snapped up immediately. He was shocked as he thought he wasn’t that great. He actually is great. He did however end up with a woman almost 10 years younger than him. That’s one issue they often go for younger according to my women friends who online dated.

YANBU. And actually, the same is true even without the age restriction

I would say that your poll needs a third option which is somewhere between the 2 extremes

I know a few nice single men in their 50’s

but they are not interested in nice single women in the 50’s (apart from one) they prefer younger women

feeling lonely is never a good start when dating ....

Whilst you have a pessimistic outlook then the men with potential will get overlooked simply because of your negative generalisation

TBF my boyfriend only turned 50 in the year that we’ve been dating but he’s lovely… and better yet, he found and pursued me, so they’re definitely out there!

I think what you are describing re walking in the park etc comes when you are comfortable with someone … so perhaps not initial stages.

Im sure there are decent people - men / women of all ages … you just have to find someone compatible…

But don’t place all your value on being in a relationship.

And maybe don’t go into it thinking “this has to be the one” … I read yesterday that if you go into thinking number 15 will be the one it helps your mindset with quickly assessing connections / values etc (no clue if this works btw)

Another thread suggested treating dating in 50s+ as a hobby.

I'm 39 my Dp is 49 when I was on the apps I got a lot of attention from men nearing 50, you may need to go abit older and see what's in that pool.

Lower your minimum age to 40.

My friend is nearly 53 and looks great. She has a good job, her own home, is clever and witty and really takes care of her appearance. She has lots of friends and will go to things inc holidays by herself, so very independent. However, how hard is it for her to meet a decent man of a similar age?????

The men who approach her tend to be about 10 years older than her and appear like “old men” - as in they aren’t looking after themselves and seem older than their age.

It’s made me appreciate DP, that’s for sure.

There are some good men out there, but just because they are good men doesn't mean they don't have baggage! and i think thats the issue in the dating pool of over 50's. A single, baggage free 50+ year old male is something of a rare occurance

Decent single guys are hard to find.

There's generally a reason they have been dumped, well that's what I've found anyway. And I tend to find the reason fairly quickly. Sigh.

A lot of women in my circle have divorced their DHs in their 40s and early 50s as they basically just had enough of their weaponised incompetence, lack of drive and general uselessness and the kids were of an age where they could arrange contact themselves or had moved out for college.

I wonder if this pool of useless newly divorced men are equally rubbish for their next partner or do they up their game next time around.

My experience of online dating and going to singles events is that men in their 50's are either looking for younger women, looking for a casual fling, are obsessed with a women's weight or they are just plain weird. I'm sure there are some good ones out there but I never found one.

I think what you're likely to find in middle age is a lot of men who are now single were already divorced because they suck in various ways. Since women initiate most divorces, and often because the men cheat, are uncommunicative, abusive or refuse to share equally in household labour, it stands to reason that the leftovers are going to be unsuitable for a relationship. Don't even get me started on never married men in their fifties. There's usually a good reason nobody wanted them.
So yeah, while it's not impossible, the odds are stacked against it.

I strongly doubt they ever change after divorce. If they were willing to change they would have done it for their wives.

I met mine at 45, we are 55 now. My 55 year old friend doesn't date over 35 as she reckons there are no good ones over 35. So we are all different.