Anyone else feel like they don't have a purpose in life?

loropianalover · 29/12/2024 16:13

I feel the same sometimes but then at the same time don’t think I really believe that everyone can have a ‘purpose’. I’m not going to get a meaningful job or save lives or make a positive impact anywhere, it’s just not me. I do have to make an effort not to overthink it really or you do start to wonder…

I’m similar to you with DP, no kids. Sometimes going to work and doing chores at home just feels like an endless loop. I try to think about things I enjoy and make an active effort to do them. Also never the recommendation anyone wants to hear, but walking/fresh air does help! I always feel better after a walk so try to go every day. I unfortunately don’t have an answer to the ‘bigger’ questions of life!

DustyLee123 · 29/12/2024 16:13

Do you have a holiday booked? You need something to look forward to.

stripeystripedstripes · 29/12/2024 16:15

Holidays? Hobbies? Pets?

MyPithyPoster · 29/12/2024 16:17

overthinkersanonnymus · 29/12/2024 16:06

I'm increasingly feeling lost in my own life. Maybe it's the weather, I don't know.

It's just me and DP in the house, no children. I feel like all I do is work, shop and clean. We do split the cores, so it's not all me doing everything, but they are my 3 things. Everyday.

I don't particularly enjoy my job and I'm scared to retain (again!). I'm 38 with no real ties, so I should be living rather than just existing.

The drudgery is really getting to me. Maybe I need a dog.....

You can retrain as many times as you feel the need to. I’ve had two separate careers.
One I enjoyed much more than the other, but it’s absolutely fine. You just do what you need to do to find fulfilment in this life.
I wouldn’t recommend getting a dog unless you really enjoy cleaning

TwinkleLights24 · 29/12/2024 16:17

I wouldn’t get a dog. It’s one more chore and will tie you down even more.

Catza · 29/12/2024 16:19

Retrain. What's there to be afraid of? Time is passing whether you take an opportunity to learn something new or not. I changed my career completely at 38 - best thing ever. Fill your days with things you love. I am sure there are plenty of things happening locally you can engage with - evening classes, walking groups, volunteering ..

cartagenagina · 29/12/2024 16:19

Would it be helpful to write down a list of ways in which you would like your life to be different? Honestly and brutally, for your eyes only.

JHound · 29/12/2024 16:20

I don’t have a purpose in life, never have done and no idea how I would find one. I just accept that not everybody does and for some of us, we just take life as a day by day activity.

Most people I know who see a clear purpose in their life have kids and their kids are their purpose. I don’t meet many people who can list a purpose outside of kids.

Moonlightstars · 29/12/2024 16:23

I retrained to work in a charitable role. I now work helping people improve their neighbourhoods. I find it really satisfying. Everyone I work with are trying to make the world a better place to be. So it's a positive environment with positive outcomes.
I have previously worked in corporate bollocks and retail. All which are about making money and I felt like my life was meaningless.
I started this role in my early 40s best thing I ever did. It made me realise how many bastards work in corporate positions and the rubbish I had put up with.
Surround yourself with positive people it rubs off!

101Nutella · 29/12/2024 16:36

YANBU - I think every few years your habits/friends/interests can naturally drift and you have to make a concerted effort to put things in the diary and have things to look forward to , a chance to experience new things. Doesn’t have to be expensive but like attending a class you wouldn’t usually. Learning a new skill- not to be good at t, just for interest.

i think charity work or helping others /joining a community gives a sense of purpose or working towards something. I felt like you but I felt that I had room for something extra in my life. Already had a pet so didn’t mind looking after others. Was undecided about kids.

anyway decided to have a kid and that feeling of being a bit aimless / ?purpose has gone. I feel content in a way I didn’t know I was missing at all. But before this I explored hobbies/shaking up life and career just o check I wasn’t being hasty.

so maybe this feeling is just a marker to tell u to shake things up a bit. And do son living outside of house drudgery.

Eyeballpaula · 29/12/2024 16:59

My job is very purposeful and satisfying and i have much wanted children, however I can identify with the work, shop and clean - even more so since having kids as there is so much more shopping & cleaning to do!! The job can also be incredibly draining and has a high rate of burnout. However at 38, if you have a job you are interest in, it's not too late to retrain.

The things to me that add interest to life are things like art, theatre and travel. For others it hobbies, sports, going out etc.

You have to find what works for you though. I've heard others talk of looking back into your childhood interests for inspiration.

AlbertCamusflage · 29/12/2024 17:06

Life is meaningless. Of course it is. You just need to face up to that and then find some private set of objectives that give you direction in the chaos. It could be anything. In Camus' novel The Plague it is spitting at cats for one guy, saving lives for another, writing a perfect sentence for a third. For me, at the moment, it is fabric crafts.

Lentilweaver · 29/12/2024 17:07

Join a choir. It's joyous. Perfect remedy for this weather.

pimplebum · 29/12/2024 17:10

You need to volunteer!
seeing how shite other people’s lives are puts it into perspective and you will meet a new circle of friends

Original poster

overthinkersanonnymus · 29/12/2024 17:24

101Nutella · 29/12/2024 16:36

YANBU - I think every few years your habits/friends/interests can naturally drift and you have to make a concerted effort to put things in the diary and have things to look forward to , a chance to experience new things. Doesn’t have to be expensive but like attending a class you wouldn’t usually. Learning a new skill- not to be good at t, just for interest.

i think charity work or helping others /joining a community gives a sense of purpose or working towards something. I felt like you but I felt that I had room for something extra in my life. Already had a pet so didn’t mind looking after others. Was undecided about kids.

anyway decided to have a kid and that feeling of being a bit aimless / ?purpose has gone. I feel content in a way I didn’t know I was missing at all. But before this I explored hobbies/shaking up life and career just o check I wasn’t being hasty.

so maybe this feeling is just a marker to tell u to shake things up a bit. And do son living outside of house drudgery.

I think being a mother would give me a sense of purpose too. But What happens when I get fed up of that too 😂😂

I really need to book a holiday.

OP posts:

cartagenagina · 29/12/2024 18:25

Booking a holiday is invariably the right option 😂

oatmy · 29/12/2024 18:28

A question I often ask myself is if I was lying on my death bed five years from now, what would I have wished that today's me had done? I.e. if you only had five years to live, what changes would you make? I imagine booking a holiday will be high on the list! But maybe there is some other stuff too?

Jifmicroliquid · 29/12/2024 18:34

There’s no purpose. We’ve just made life extremely complicated. Just live your life and try to enjoy it. Unless you’re a very high profile figure, no-one will remember your name in 100 years time. So we become pretty much forgotten. You just have to make peace with that.

MissyB1 · 29/12/2024 18:37

TwinkleLights24 · 29/12/2024 16:17

I wouldn’t get a dog. It’s one more chore and will tie you down even more.

Absolutely this! I have a dog and although I love her, the commitment and sheer hard work involved are immense!

CouchSpud · 29/12/2024 18:39

Do you have any hobbies or sports?

Twattergy · 29/12/2024 18:45

Pay for a cleaner.
Use the time for something more enjoyable or purposeful:
Music?
Time in nature?
Socialising?
Change career, re train or spend time learning?

At 38 I had a two year old child so didn't have time or energy for existential questions. In that sense, parenthood does help.

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 29/12/2024 18:46

I dont really believe anyone has a purpose. Even if you have one, does it mean that's your purpose forever or does it change?

NeelyOHara1 · 29/12/2024 18:46

Not helpful, but how you're feeling is as old as time. Henry David Thoreau, 1854: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”. Definition of quiet desperation: endless monotony; a deep-seated feeling of stagnation, where daily tasks become a repetitive loop, devoid of excitement or growth, leading to feelings of irrelevance in the grander narrative of life.

Chocolatesnowman2 · 29/12/2024 18:49

I spent my teenage years dreaming of the wonderful career I was going to have ..my life was mapped out
30 years later I'm a SAHM , because my adult kids have autism and are not in work or education and can't be left alone .
They will never live independently and I worry myself sick what will happen to them when I'm dead .
Then there are the days were I feel useless and worthless and good for nothing except cleaning and cooking ,and I'm not very good at that either .
I had such a shit childhood too ..
I very often think what is the point of me and I've no real purpose or reason to be anywhere.
I suppose all any of us can do is one step in front of another and keep plodding on

Fannyfiggs · 29/12/2024 18:55

I know exactly what you mean. I've never had a purpose and feel like I've bumbled through life and fallen into jobs/careers, of which there have been many 😂

However at the grand old age of 53 I discovered I have ADHD and that ND people struggle with future planning.

I used to wonder why I couldn't make one year, five year, ten year life plans. I don't know how I'll feel or what I'll want next week let alone in five years time. I couldn't even buy a Christmas decoration, that was on sale, to put up next year because, well who knows what'll be happening next year, will I still be here, will I want to put up decorations, will I even like that style of decoration next year?

I think same goes for having a purpose. Some days my purpose is putting one foot in front of the other and other days I want to save the world.

Life is a funny old thing. What is the point of us? 😂

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