When the holidays turn into a marathon of family gatherings and all you want is some peace and quiet

[itstimefor2025]

Feeling a bit over all the family gatherings after Christmas. We saw my MIL on Christmas Day at my parents’ house, then again on Boxing Day visiting DP’s SIL and her kids, and now we’re off to hers again today for a big dinner. I just want some peace and quiet, but here we go.

MIL also can’t resist bringing up the fact that we’re not married yet or don’t have kids. She’s harmless, but it drives me mad. When I called her the other day to check about today, the first thing she said was, “Do you have any news for me?” No, MIL, I don’t - for fuck’s sake.

I’ve never been overly family-oriented, and dealing with SIL’s rude, screaming kids just makes it worse. It’s clear she doesn’t discipline them, and honestly, it’s exhausting. That said, DP obviously wants to go it’s his family, and I get that so I’ll go and honour that. But I’d much rather spend the rest of the holidays at home in peace and quiet. Am I the only one who feels like this?

YANBU. Your MIL sounds like a nightmare.

Develop a bad cold that you don’t want to spread? Send your partner on his own?

Just don’t go. Literally went nowhere and saw no one over Christmas people are welcome to pop in but I didn’t visit anyone.

I feel you! As far as I've heard, everyone else feels the same too. It's too much. I am NEVER by myself, I don't think I've been alone (properly, with nothing to do - being alone in the utility room doing laundry, or in the car going to sainsburys, doesn't count) since about June.

Eg My mum asked me a question earlier, and by the time I had said half my answer, 2 other people (children) had asked me questions or even just said something random over the top of me. So annoying. Another example, last night parents finally went to bed, kids in bed, I set about cleaning the kitchen, excited to be alone (how sad) then DH comes in and starts helping..... I mean how dare he, but also soooo fucking annoying 1) I am literally in the middle of doing that, you don't need to re-do it/act like I'm not doing it and 2) I was about to enjoy being alone!

It's been a holiday of people coming in within 1-3 minutes of me being by myself. My nerve endings are frazzled. I'm dying for that air and atmosphere of no-one else being in my vicinity.

(When I say 'people', it's my kids. So can't just not see them!)

The girlfriend and the mother in law, a tale as old as time. You have my sympathies and ADNBU.

My only advice is to mentally distance yourself however you can. Rise above and learn the art of the tinkly laugh to respond with.

So glad I'm not the only one on the same situation. MIL drives me up the wall, she will tell stories and exaggerate them - half the time it hasn't even happened. Knows everybody's business (she's a hairdresser) and as lovely as she is, she is irritating 🤣

Say you have a headache and stay home. Your partner can go on his own.

Luckily, she isn't your MIL and maybe it should stay like that.

Don’t go then! Partner can go on his own for at least one of those visits if not all.

We both have massive families so we had something on Xmas Eve, Xmas Day, we had Boxing day "off" but we have had plans on 27th, 28th and today. I'm thankful to be working tomorrow!! I think we also have something on 31st and as I have a mega busy working day on 2nd January I'm dropping kids for a sleepover at grandparents on NYD evening.

Hosted 10 on xmas day. Lovely.
Since then done f.all except please myself. Brilliant

We had one extra for Christmas day, and will have one extra for new year's eve.

That's all the socialising we have done this Christmas.

We are a small family but would going to each other's houses on boxing day and days after.
It was the same people being in each other's houses..we had nothing new to chat about.
I suggested that we take it in turns each year to have a 'do' on one of the days after Christmas. Then it always seemed to be me..eldest dsis always had an excuse why she couldn't host.Younger sis had various other engagements so it was always me that hosted.
So I put a stop to it. And now nobody hosts..and I find I don't mind at all..

We had drinks out with friends Xmas eve, hosted 7 on Xmas day and then again 7 on Friday. That just about did me in! Have enjoyed yesterday and today doing bugger all!

You can choose not to go. They're not family and it's of no benefit for you to visit them, sounds like the guys mother likes taunting you, so opt out.

I hear you too. In my case DH loves people and noise and joins in with all of it, whilst I want to escape to a darkened room with a book and a glass of wine. I'm currently trying to avoid more of the same on NYD. Bastard weather isn't helping either.

I don’t understand why you don’t just stay at home and DP goes on his own. Then you get the peace and quiet you are craving.

I've been staying with my parents, and my sisters MIL as my sisters house is full of. I've been on a camp bed as the flare room is taken. I'm going home tomorrow. And I can't wait to sleep in a proper bed again. And skin informing of something I want to watch on TV.

We have always had Christmas me hubby and the kids. Never go anywhere and don't have people over even before we were married and had kids. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. I have told my kids start as you mean to go on when they move in together. There are so many people on here that start inviting and going to visit that people expect that to happen every year.

"Do you have any news for me?”

You know i can't have children? Everytime you bring it up, its distressing. I do wish you'd stop.

it's not a lie, you can't have children as you're not ready or at that stage of your life yet.. People who bring this up all the time are rude and crass. If you want to be surrounded by kids, have some MIL, otherwise stfu.