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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make my ill husband lunch?

30 replies

BigDahliaFan · 29/12/2024 12:29

He's on day 4 of the flu, he's mostly been in bed. I've got him tea and lemsip and made him toast and sandwiches.

I know you don't feel like eating when you are ill but anything I take up gets demolished. But it's like feeding a sulky child, I'm just about to go out for lunch so offered to heat up soup or at least leave it out of the freezer for him.

I know he's hungry but he's just said no. So instead of taking it up to him and him realising he is hungry I'm just leaving him to it. He can get out of bed .....

OP posts:
Mrswhatsit40 · 29/12/2024 12:31

I don’t understand your aibu - you’ve offered him food and he’s said no, what more is there to add?

Go out and leave him to it.

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 29/12/2024 12:32

What's the actual problem?

Is he sulking because you are going out? Or has he just simply turned down your offer?

Undisclosedlocation · 29/12/2024 12:33

Huh? You asked, he said no.
i don’t understand your point

Proteinbananas · 29/12/2024 12:33

I'm baffled too. What exactly has he done wrong? I can't work out if you're pissed off that he's eating or pissed off that he's not eating.

Spirallingdownwards · 29/12/2024 12:33

You don't need to make lunch because he doesn't want any.

user1471517900 · 29/12/2024 12:34

What a strange thread.

BobbyBiscuits · 29/12/2024 12:34

He's not well. Sick people are grumpy, especially male ones. Just leave him alone. If he desperately wants something he can get it himself. Plus you shouldn't get near or you'll catch it.

TwentyTwentyFive · 29/12/2024 12:35

I don't get the problem? He's sick and grumpy and sometimes he wants to eat and sometimes like now he doesn't? I literally read the post 3 times and don't see what the issue is?

solopanda · 29/12/2024 12:35

So he has declined your offer of food and he's being unreasonable why?
He doesn't want food leave him alone you're not his mother.

solopanda · 29/12/2024 12:36

Proteinbananas · 29/12/2024 12:33

I'm baffled too. What exactly has he done wrong? I can't work out if you're pissed off that he's eating or pissed off that he's not eating.

She seems to be pissed off he's not eating. I think I'm not 100% on that though.

Original poster
BigDahliaFan · 29/12/2024 12:36

I think it's the grumpiness and lack of realisation that he'll feel better if he eats. He gets hangry. And it's just no...rather than 'thanks but I'm OK. '

He is rather dramatic when ill...it's day 4 and he is starting to get on my tits.

OP posts:
Nerdlings · 29/12/2024 12:37

Are you suggesting he isn’t really ill because he has been eating?

Nerdlings · 29/12/2024 12:38

BigDahliaFan · 29/12/2024 12:36

I think it's the grumpiness and lack of realisation that he'll feel better if he eats. He gets hangry. And it's just no...rather than 'thanks but I'm OK. '

He is rather dramatic when ill...it's day 4 and he is starting to get on my tits.

Eating doesn’t get rid of a virus

solopanda · 29/12/2024 12:39

BigDahliaFan · 29/12/2024 12:36

I think it's the grumpiness and lack of realisation that he'll feel better if he eats. He gets hangry. And it's just no...rather than 'thanks but I'm OK. '

He is rather dramatic when ill...it's day 4 and he is starting to get on my tits.

He doesn't want to ear fgs. Leave him alone. You can't force feed him.

TwentyTwentyFive · 29/12/2024 12:40

Maybe he would be less grumpy if you didn't keep pestering him to eat when he doesn't want to. Leave the poor bloke in peace in bed to rest so he starts to feel better.

Nothatgingerpirate · 29/12/2024 12:43

I don't understand.
I'd say YABU, but different circumstances for different people.
My husband is 75, three decades older, I don't feel any irritation when he's unwell and definitely would get some sandwiches and chicken soup he seems to like.
😕

Uricon2 · 29/12/2024 12:43

I honestly hope that you never have to take care of someone who is longterm ill OP, for their sake and yours. However if you did, you'd realise that this is an utter non issue. Offer him stuff, if he says no leave it.

The current strain of flu seems very unpleasant and he may be feeling a bit up and down with appetite.

Growlybear83 · 29/12/2024 12:46

If you're going out, why can't you just take a tray up to him with a sandwich and a thermos flask of soup so that he can have it later when he fancies it?

Blogswife · 29/12/2024 13:01

I used to feel like this about my DH , thought he was a dreadful patient but never again will I get cross with him
I’ve been hit with the most awful chest infection (poss pneumonia ) , sinusitis and an asthma flare up and have been ill since before Xmas. Medication taking its time to kick in much to my frustration. I can’t even walk a few steps without coughing my guts up and feeling weak and have only been able to sit on the sofa despite trying to do things for myself
DH has done all the washing, cooking, dog walking, and is now taking down the Xmas decs
He’s brought me food ( which I’ve left), drinks and anything else I need & I’m so grateful to him
I’ve kept him awake with my coughing and he’s not complained once ( I complained when he was ill and snored)
Be kind to him . This virus is debilitating and the worst I’ve ever had . I’ve felt like I’m on my way out at times !

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 29/12/2024 13:05

Flu really really sucks and I’ve never been bubbly and upbeat when my DH brings me drinks and food. Flu kills your appetite- you really need to drink a ton of fluids. One cup of tea is nowhere near enough. It is miserable suffering through it, have a bit of sympathy.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 29/12/2024 13:06

BigDahliaFan · 29/12/2024 12:36

I think it's the grumpiness and lack of realisation that he'll feel better if he eats. He gets hangry. And it's just no...rather than 'thanks but I'm OK. '

He is rather dramatic when ill...it's day 4 and he is starting to get on my tits.

Eating doesn’t make you feel better when you have the flu.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 29/12/2024 13:19

I've got flu. Haven't eaten for over days. Eating willl not make me feel better.

honeylulu · 29/12/2024 13:46

Eating won't cure the flu but it can help maintain blood sugar and stop you feeling even worse. The fact that he has "demolished" everything taken up suggests it's not making him feel worse/sick etc.

honeylulu · 29/12/2024 13:47

But in answer to the OP, he said no, so go out with a clear conscience. He may be feeling unwell but he's not at death's door and he won't starve.

olympicsrock · 29/12/2024 13:49

Maybe he didn’t feel like soup ?