To not know where to start with toys, clutter and my ex's stuff

[cadburyegg]

I am drowning in stuff, help.

My exh and his family were very generous with the kids presents this year. Don't get me wrong i don't want to sound ungrateful but now there is SO much stuff, I don't know where to put it all. My exh also brought back all the packaging it all came with so now I have even more rubbish to get rid of. My bins are full til next weekend!

I also have just boxes of clutter that I need to go through and sort. I just don't know where I am going to find the time to do it.

My kids share a room currently and it would help if they had their own rooms but I wfh in the spare room currently and not sure where to put my desk. I'm waiting for a quote to do my summer house up so I could work in there. All these things take so much time up

My exh still has stuff in the garage, loft, spare room. AIBU to just hire a skip and get rid of it all. I've reminded him constantly I wanted it all gone before Christmas. We've been split for 4 years and the financial order says he should have removed stuff from what is now my house by the end of February 2024! I know he will be angry if I get rid of it all but I can't stand it anymore.

We go away tomorrow to family for 3 nights and I'm embarrassed to leave the house as it is for my neighbours to feed the cats (not that they will care)

AIBU to ask where to start?? I'm so overwhelmed

Husbands Stuff - Give him a final warning. Give him a firm final date (within the next 2 weeks) that it has to be collected on otherwise it's going in the skip. No compromises.

Kids stuff - Donate toys they no longer play with. Other toys divide them up and have some at yours, some at exes and some at grannies. Next time someone brings rubbish to your house refuse to take it in and that's final.

General clutter is easy to go through - start with an area of the house and pick out the things you need and then a few things you want and get rid of the rest.

Have a car boot sale, they start up again soon.

If you have a car take all the recycling & rubbish to the tip. Then message ex and ask when you can drop off his stuff - and if he puts you off say it needs to go or you tip it. Bag up his stuff in bin bags and dump in the garage if possible so at least it's out of the house.

Then go through the kids' clothes for too small/ knackered stuff to sell/donate/bin. Only sell if it's worth it financially or as a bundle, else it'll never leave the house.

After that, pick another area or type of stuff to go through- old toys or your clothes or kitchen cupboards- do one thing at a time and get all the unwanted stuff out of the house ASAP.

And join a decluttering thread on Mumsnet for moral support, watch Stacey Solomon and copy her!

You need to make space first and then get organised with your own stuff. If your ex doesn't have space or time to get his stuff, could he be made to rent a storage unit and either he or a man&van boxes up his stuff and takes it there. Your house isn't his storage.

Then it's basics: get rid of excess stuff, have good storage and a home for everything, put things away.

Find a rubbish collection service in your area. Black bag up all rubbish. (It’s about £2 a bag here)!

Give everyone in the house fair warning and if they don’t rescue their things - into a black bag.

Leave it for them to collect.

Every time your Ex comes, give him something from his stuff to take away. It’s become ‘out of sight, out of mind.’

My ExDP still had stuff in his parents loft when he was nearly 60. He’d owned his own 3 bed house for 20 yrs at that point. OP, take a stand.

Your ex has already been given a firm date to remove his stuff, and he ignored it. He's provoking you, don't worry about it and just hire the skip.
Later on he might claim to be the victim, with you as the awful person who threw away his beloved treasures. If he does, ignore it.
Its not just that you need the space; as long as his stuff is in your house he is in your head. Thats why he has done it, so get rid!

Send your ex a photo of the order.
Tell him to collect by 7th January.
No please, do you mind, is it ok ? Flat out tell him to get his property out of your home.

Use the boxes from Xmas to bag up the excess dc stuff.
Pick up a flat packed medium box every time you go to big supermarkets.

I use Anglo Doorstep Collection as they help a charity I support. Books in one box, clothes in another, toys in the next, crockery and utensils in some more, And repeat.
As the name suggests, Anglo pick up from your door step on the date you book.
I put a big label on the boxes and trot off to work pleased with a job well done.

But start with your lazy useless ex who is taking huge advantage of you. You have saved him quite a few quid in storage unit fees.!

Is it good enough to sell and make some money? If it's just rubbish feed it into the bin.

Just get a skip and get rid of it all. Tell your ex that he has 48 hours to come and get his stuff or it goes in the skip.

You won't miss any of it when it's gone.

Obviously, if you have time, you could sort, sell, send to charity - but that of course assumes you have the time and energy to do so.

Don't bother trying to sort the clutter in boxes. If you haven't needed any of it for the past year, then it doesn't matter.

Be totally ruthless. You'll feel much better.

Give ex a written warning with a firm date. If he hasn't collected his things by that date, get rid of everything. If there's anything of value, sell it and use the money to pay for skip hire (if you can be bothered that is).

That will give you space to deal with all the other stuff.

Thanks all

I've arranged to hire a skip to arrive in a couple of weeks when I have a child free weekend to clear out my house. I've text my exh telling him to clear out his stuff before the skip arrives or pay for half of the cost. We'll see what happens. He works in a school so isn't back to work until the 7th at the earliest. I've suggested be could use this week to do it but he's with his girlfriend and the time he has with her is sacrosanct... we'll see 😂