To ask what skills you think your children need to adult ?

[adultingskills]

At a dinner party last night and the conversation turned to this and I thought it was v interesting!

What do you want your kids to know how to do?
Some answers were:
Drive
Swim
Cook
Mix cocktails

What else?

To understand finances- tax codes, credit cards, debt, bank accounts etc

Budgeting
A good spag bol
Low level fixing skills - sewing, basic electrics, basic plumbing, basic car maintenance.

My biggest one for my own kids is to be confident and able to meet their own needs independently on every level. Being comfortable being alone.

Clean
Basic DIY (fuses, leaks, flat packs etc)
Basic car maintenance if driving
How to Google
Cook
Safety awareness
First aid

Or just send them to Scouts

To be able to have reasonable conversations with people who hold different views, opinions, beliefs and have different socio-economic backgrounds to them without descending into arguments, name-calling and insults.

Doesn’t matter what else they can ‘do.’ If they can’t do that, then their parents failed them.

Cook
Manage money
Respect themselves
Work hard
Good manners

This seems like an odd question. I feel like it’s obvious that they need to be able to do everything that you expect from a functioning adult.

How important a pension is.

This. Student loans, mortgages, pensions too. All the money and budgeting stuff.

Financial. It's hugely undertaught but can make all the difference in their life trajectory. My parents actively encouraged me to get in debt - my dad even told me to lie about my salary to get lower interest rates. Both my brother and I have spent a lifetime in debt and neither of us are homeowners. I'll do whatever it takes not to pass that on.

Everything you do. If not more.

Use public transport, including unfamiliar systems
Be able to walk between places when that's the quickest way
Being able to talk - in person and on the phone - to actual people
How to make a complaint and get recompense
Hard agree about finances!
To honour invitations even when they don't 'feel like it' and to plan things around such invitations so they don't end up having to flake out

Yes I've tried to instill this in my now young adult kids. However one is still crazily bad with money ( gambling etc) and one is ultra tight ! They need to find a happy medium !

I'm not fussed about learning to drive because we live near good transport links but my essential adult skills are

Basic maths
Know how to swim even a doggy paddle!
Streetwise, knows what to do in an emergency, not too trusting of people
Time management
Learning to say no
Learning to use a cooker safely snd operate a washing machine. Knowing how to do basic cleaning, knowing how to do basic self hygiene... yes some parents neglect to teach this. Thankfully there is online conteng teaching everything these days.

Soft skills, being able to work with others cooperatively. Knowing how to start a conversation and how to end one.
Knowing what to do in an unfamiliar situation.
Basic problem solving.
Vastly underrated but so many young people I work with struggle with this and need strategies.

Great thread idea. I think this should be promoted to all parents.

As well as practical stuff like cooking, driving, swimming and working a washing machine, I think it’s important to encourage them to know how to find a solution.

So maybe they don’t know how to change a tyre, or open a bank account, but is ok because they do know how to find trustworthy information on how to do it. That definitely includes talking to strangers (eg asking for help at a bank), as well as googling.

@Miley1967 A bit like my kids and vegetables then. One would choose fruit and veg over crisps and chocolates every time, the other it's a struggle getting them to eat anything healthy. Polar opposites, yet both treated the same. Just goes to show.

Open and pour a bottle of champagne
Make decent tea and coffee
Knowing how to shop around for utilities etc and the importance of doing so
Change a tyre
Making conversation in social settings
Nice restaurant- how to book, order, pay etc
Whrn recipes can be adapted and when they must be followed strictly
Ditto for washing instructions on clothes
Lightbulbs, fuses etc.

I saved this some time ago and think it’s quite true!

Manage financial affairs including a pension
Cook
Clean
Laundry
Be a decent person
Be able to establish and maintain healthy boundaries (I did not grow up with this and have had to learn the hard way)
Be comfortable in their skin
Understand the importance of kindness
To be kind but not a doormat
To be able to accept different perspectives and discuss these without resorting to anger or insults
To have a good education behind them
To feel confident about decisions they take, yet flexible and humble enough to change their minds if they need to.

I talked about this a lot with DD:

Cook basic things
Clean, including a toilet
Navigate public transport
Know how to spot an arsehole
Banking and saving and loan interest
Do a wash, including delicates
Take on responsibility, eg job or volunteering
Recognise difference and differing beliefs
Contraception/ std protection
Spend time alone

Oh my god - I don't drive, swim or understand all the laundry symbols. I guess that makes me a pretty rubbish adult 😅 my cooking skills are fairly basic too.
I think finances are the key thing - too few people I know understand their pension and the number of times I've heard a friend say they were surprised by their mortgage statement is really worrying 😟
The other thing would be internet safety - even beyond childhood people can remain vulnerable and scams are increasingly sophisticated.
I would add, for our children, understanding AI will be really important. It's going to impact the entire jobs market - AI skills are going to make you employable. We've just rid if a load of functions and have replaced them with a handful of AI prompters- basically people who can interact with AI tools well enough they can get the tools to do a range of things efficiently. It's across marketing, legal, compliance and IT so a lot of departments were impacted.

Financial literacy
Good communication skills - both verbal and written
Decent computer skills
A life long learner
To be comfortable in their own skin and on their own head
Initiative
Self motivated
Self care - physical and mental
Open to feedback and constructive criticism
A willingness to seek help and ask questions

Finances, importance of a pension, what is good debt vs bad debt.
Basic cooking
Cleaning, using a washing machine
Learning to drive and also learning to navigate public transport.
Map reading with a paper map (this might be peculiar to my family)
The confidence to hold a conversation, to know when to argue and when not to argue a point and give in gracefully.

Resilience. Everything else has been covered.