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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour with mental health issues, volatile, has disposed of her dead pet in a bin bag in her garden..

13 replies

BCSurvivor · 29/12/2024 11:13

My volatile and unpredictable next door neighbour veers between constantly knocking at my door and windows or being completely reclusive.
Two days ago she was on my doorstep in floods of tears because her dog had died the day before and she didn't know what to do with the body.
She has had two previous dogs that a family member dealt with, but has now fallen out with her family.
I suggested the PDSA, phoning her vet etc...her garden is mainly paved and rented so not suitable for burying a dog.
She hasn't left her home since that morning, but a dog bed shaped bin bag has appeared in her front garden, very close to my window.
There isn't a black bin bag collection for another week.
The dog is a very small breed.
Obviously I don't agree with disposing of a pet in a bin bag to be collected with household rubbish and I'm not sure it's legal either.
But on a practical level I am concerned that the body will begin to smell very quickly, particularly if the bag hasn't been sealed properly.
AIBU to be concerned about this and report to environmental health...NDN can be very volatile and unpredictable so I don't really want to approach her.
Or is this an accepted way to dispose of small sized animals?
NDN does occasionally have a health worker visiting who I would feel comfortable talking to about this, but she only visits every few weeks.

OP posts:
Chugnut · 29/12/2024 11:30

No different to food waste. Our chickens sometimes get taken via the bin men if they die or have to be culled. You'd chuck a rat or mouse in the bin.

I'm rural though and wouldn't have a bin anywhere near a neighbour. It's probably better than her diy cremating it though...

ThatMauveRaven · 29/12/2024 11:30

How do you know that the dog is actually in the bag? Could be just the dog bed. If it begins to attract flies or smell then call the council to remove it but if not I don’t think that there’s anything you can do.

Balloonhearts · 29/12/2024 11:31

It could just be the bed. How do you know the dog is in there?

JohnofWessex · 29/12/2024 11:33

When we had chickens, funeral was via the bin, BUT I chucked a shovelful of de-icing salt in with them which seemed to control things

justfirthisboard · 29/12/2024 11:38

Is there no way you could approach her as if coming from a place of concern, since she came to you upset when her dog died?

You could suggest to her that the council will come and collect her dog, my large dog passed away on a bank holiday and it was a heatwave, I was 36 weeks pregnant. The council came out within an hour and collected him. I'm devastated that I wasn't able to arrange anything privately for him, but grateful that the council were so helpful. Maybe they could help her

JMSA · 29/12/2024 11:48

YANBU to be concerned, at all.

JMSA · 29/12/2024 11:49

You'd be absolutely slated if you posted on here 'my dog has died and I've shoved it in a bin bag and popped it outside - is that ok?'

GrettaGreen · 29/12/2024 11:51

I think this is one of those things that looks totally mental if you know the person has mental health issues but you wouldn't even notice if it was someone that didn't have additional health issues.

Ladybyrd · 29/12/2024 11:53

I'd assume it's just the bed unless it starts to smell.

BCSurvivor · 29/12/2024 12:06

@Balloonhearts I'm just assuming it's the dog and the bed as my neighbour hasn't been out at all since the dog died - it's very noticeable when she does go out as the remaining dog will bark and howl constantly - the dogs never accompany her when she goes out.
But I could be wrong.
@justfirthisboard it's tricky.
When she is reclusive she tends - as now - to become completely nocturnal.
And social boundaries are a bit of an issue.
If I interact with more than basic greetings I then get bombarded with constant door knocking, followed by knocking on various windows if I don't answer, random presents through my letterbox and then sometimes a full blown tantrum through my letterbox if I don't reciprocate.

OP posts:
Hskatkat · 29/12/2024 12:09

Contact the council? Adult social care?
I've never been in your situation , but I'm sure she will be known to both the above.
They may be able to give her help 'going forward' .

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 29/12/2024 12:21

You can bury a pet or have it collected by a registered remover who should then dispose of it correctly.

It shouldn’t be put out for normal rubbish collection.

Hard to know what to do really if you think she’s volatile. Maybe ring the council and ask their advice?

justfirthisboard · 29/12/2024 14:24

@BCSurvivor totally understand why you need to keep your distance. I'd phone the council waste department and see what they can advise

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