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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work WhatsApp Groups

57 replies

AbbeyDown · 28/12/2024 21:48

I don't know what to do. I have a really uneasy feeling recently at work.

Small team, large organisation. I have been there a long time.

One particular colleague keeps starting WhatsApp groups, excluding one person and then leaving the group, I assume to create another. A conversation happened in the department and a colleague started oh I put it in the group but stopped herself from carrying on as I was present.

I then got added to a work WhatsApp group. (I have a sneaky suspicion I wasn't added to the group previously) Everyone was included. Said person who started the WhatsApp group then left without stating why.

Said person then started another WhatsApp group.
Not every single member of the team was included in this WhatsApp group, just a few of us. This excluded one member in particular because she couldn't trust the 'snake' in the other group.

Said person who started this group has now left this group that she started.......again! No explanation. On Christmas Day!!! (I only went into the group today so noticed)

I don't understand she keeps creating groups and leaving them, starting others but excluding people.

I'm sure I will have now been left out of another she has created!

I have been off work recently due to a personal reason and she was messaging me asking how I was but then I feel, fishing when I was coming back to work. She isn't my
Manager although likes to boss people so I didn't tell her.

She tends to try and micromanage everyone at work also and everyone is fed up of it.
Sucks up to the manager, she does the most work etc etc which isn't true.

I'm just feeling uneasy about it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
AbbeyDown · 03/01/2025 21:39

Talkingfrog · 02/01/2025 22:43

Your colleague sounds very childlike. Creating groups then leaving them to start another one sounds like the behaviour of some of the children when my child was in year 7 (age 11 and 12).

It's really bizarre behaviour. Why create groups and then leave them! It's very dramatic.

OP posts:
Original poster
AbbeyDown · 03/01/2025 21:40

Namechanged4obviousreasons · 02/01/2025 12:13

@AbbeyDown I would wait until I’m in the office and with as many colleagues in earshot and would say, ‘oh xxx, would you mind not adding me to anymore of those WhatsApp groups please as I’m not comfortable with the fact you don’t include the whole team. I also don’t see the point of the groups since you set them up and then leave them.’ Block her from adding you anyway but I’d speak up in the office so everyone is aware of what she’s doing and can explain herself to the whole team.

I so wish I had the confidence to do this.
This is very good.

OP posts:
Heatherjayne1972 · 03/01/2025 21:58

I hate work WhatsApp groups with a passion in my last job I had 5! Groups that I was in

I’ve now set my phone so I can’t be added to a group without being asked first

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 04/01/2025 15:53

She sounds like a child. Leave all the groups and don't give her a second thought. If she says anything and you don't want to go into it just say you don't have time for keeping up with what's app groups.

JetskiSkyJumper · 04/01/2025 17:35

How old is she 10? This does sound like bullying. I'd steer well clear of any work WA.

I got pulled aside at work once and asked about something said in a WA group. I hadn't been added so that's when I learned it existed and I'd been excluded from it lol. But at the same time as I wasn't in it, I wasn't dragged into the shit that went down because of something said in it.

Littlemisscapable · 04/01/2025 17:39

This is all so childish it sounds like a group of 11 year olds. Just totally disengage. And anyway work what's app groups ,unless it's on a work phone, should be avoided at all costs. Don't bring work into your personal life unless it's for fun.

Original poster
AbbeyDown · 04/01/2025 18:19

JetskiSkyJumper · 04/01/2025 17:35

How old is she 10? This does sound like bullying. I'd steer well clear of any work WA.

I got pulled aside at work once and asked about something said in a WA group. I hadn't been added so that's when I learned it existed and I'd been excluded from it lol. But at the same time as I wasn't in it, I wasn't dragged into the shit that went down because of something said in it.

Yes I'm no longer in it and I have changed my settings so I can no longer be added automatically without a link being sent.
The thing what's really devious I find is that the person she excluded, she's extremely nice to her face and I mean overly nice. So that makes me think what gets said about me. It's very bitchy and extremely two faced.

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