Feel so indequate

[OddTrek38]

Never had a marriage proposal, never felt special, feel like I'm battling alone.

A marriage proposal doesn’t mean anything in itself. Not unless it’s from someone YOU think is very special. Just having been proposed to doesn’t make you more special. The older I get, the more I realise the important thing in life is human connection. Not necessarily romantic relationships, but people you connect with. People you see, even if only once a year, and come away feeling lifted somehow. Those relationships are the ones that make you feel special. It might not even be someone you’re close with. A colleague that you laugh with, a neighbour who’s done something kind and unexpected, a new friend who trusts you with something. I am sure you’re special to lots of people, even if you’ve not found a romantic life partner. Many people who are in relationships would prefer to be single! So it’s not the be all and end all.

For every Instagram perfect proposal there will be dozens of couples who never got married, or just decided after a sensible conversation about finances and practicalities to get married. Or one partner wanted it and pressured the other into doing it. For every picture perfect proposal and marriage there will be countless cancellations and dissolutions and divorces.

Marriage and proposals are rarely the happy ever after that we’ve been led to believe they are.

Yes it’s wonderful when someone loves us and values us. But don’t base your self worth on whether some guy knelt down with an overpriced piece of jewellery to trot out a line from a film.

My DP told me the story of his proposal to his ex and it honestly made me teary (in a good way!) as it sounded so beautiful and romantic. But their relationship was riddled with issues and ended badly. The perfect proposal didn’t rescue them from their problems.

I'd say a lot of people haven't had proposals. You shouldn't feel inadequate because of this.

I know people who have been proposed to and said yes as they think they should or it may be their only time. It not always as romantic as it's perceived.

Treat yourself as special because you are. Go do things you like for yourself.