To think we shouldn't always get the same?

[AGreatUsername]

Genuinely not sure if I'm BU! My father and step mother are terrible gift givers (the favoured step siblings definitely get more/better gifts, but that's a whole other issue and there are levels of favouritism even among the step siblings) and spend very little despite being more than comfortable.

Anyway, they buy me, my SiL and my adult daughter the same gift every year, as in we all get the exact same thing. Whether it's socks or whatever, this year was a £10 item from M&S that my SIL loved but neither me nor my daughter would ever use. They also buy my husband and brother the same item every year.

I don't care about the money, but I just think I'd rather have a £10 gift they chose thinking I'd like it than a bulk buy every year! My SiL and I are very different people with different tastes and I just find buying the exact same thing utterly thoughtless and a mark of having to just get something out of duty.

It's not just a present that you don't like - it's the blatant lack of thought involved. Upside is that you aren't the only target of it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would try to stop the gift giving, it's pretty obvious she doesn't enjoy it. Otherwise, do what I do - say thank you and then give to the charity shop/food bank as appropriate.

DH’s entire family do this! I know that DBIL & DSIL got variations of what DH and I got from his parents, aunts and cousin. It’s the same every year. The DC only get different gifts because ours is an adult and nephew isn’t yet a teenager.

So a person who isn't the OP would use a hypothetical imaginary gift?

Are you aiming for most irrelevant observation? 😂

No, not irrelevant. I can't get my head round actual grown ups, including one old enough to have a grown up daughter, being as petty as the OP.

Exchange it for something else from M&S and suggest no presents next year.

Yep they are thoughtless but there’s not a lot you can do.just dont put much thought into their gifts. If you, DD and SIL all get the same gift could you make it into a game where the person who likes the shit gift the most gets all three?

And that kind of sums up the post lol. One size doesn’t fit all with pressies

Some people are impossible to please. It's a £10 gift! Just get over it, it's really not important. Either ask whole family if you can ditch the presents altogether or take them to the charity shop. So much money is wasted on ungrateful folk who moan the some distant relative with lots on their plate hasn't spent enough time choosing them a perfect gift!!

Hmm I don’t think it’s about easy blanket buying, that would be too obvious. I think it’s intentional. I used to meet with four friends every Christmas and I would buy on a theme e.g. one year everyone got something in rose gold. I thought it was a cool idea and I had fun doing it. Ive given the same pre-christmas present to a group before, just the once, of four of us. It was a small token and Christmas themed. I really liked the item, so I was excited to give it to everyone. Maybe that’s what they’re intentionally going for - this year’s chosen item. I think the fact that there’s one for females and one for males suggests this.

So I think YABU. I think the problem is the favouritism.

How old are you whining about favorites and whether me your gift is good enough??
Time to grow up.
Just tell them not to bother with gifts in future if it bothers you that much 🤦🏻‍♀️

Nowhere does it say the present was a gift voucher 🙄

Yes, I got it wrong. Have already said so up thread. Must admit I hate it when people don't read the OP properly and now I'm one of them!

I assumed the same! It’s such a common gift.

Some people can't be bothered with the whole Christmas faff or find it really daunting, and I find adults getting petulant about token gift exchanges tiresome. I think you need to take a step back for your own peace of mind, and just tell yourself you will use or donate the presumably well meant gifts every January as a matter of course.

I'd just use an M&S voucher on my next 2 work lunches, tbf. Our local foodbank and baby bank both take toiletries, and the local Salvation Army socks.

If it was about genuine difficulties with age-appropriateness or imbalanced gift giving to children, then I'd have more to say.

I’m really sorry to hear this, it is quite thoughtless. However, the gift is the act of giving not the gift itself so I would suggest either 1. Accepting the fact that the gift will be unwanted - say thank you and regift to someone who would like it or give to charity. adjust your budget accordingly - but don’t lower yourself - something small but nice. 2. Suggest that adults stop buying each other gifts so the focus can be on grandchildren.

As the mum I feel like I almost never get gifts I actually want (no - another naff destressing bath set is neither what I want or going to help me with the things that make me busy 100 per cent of the time). So I budget for a Christmas gift to myself. What would you actually like to be bought next Christmas? Buy it for yourself. It’s not selfish, us mums organise everything everyone else wants for Christmas and more besides :)! X