Estranged family and struggling at Christmas

[BrokenFamilyTies]

I’m writing on here to stop myself contacting my dysfunctional family. Forgive me for using this forum for this but it will be useful to have opinion, even if it differs to mine.

I am estranged from my mother, father and one sibling and her own family (my nieces and BIL).

After many years of being the none golden child and a series of very hurtful events I decided to go NC earlier this year. I asked them to respect this and not to contact me. They have done so. I don’t think it was too hard for them tbh. It was a huge decision I didn’t take lightly and was not a snap action without thought of the consequences.

Christmas is a difficult time and I’m struggling knowing they are all together. It was my choice to stop contact as I was tired of the abusive name calling and outright insensitive behaviour from them. Its hit me harder than I thought it would. However I also know that if things had carried on as normal I would also be feeling hurt from their unkind actions.

I know some will say they are doing as you asked and they are. But going NC with parents isn’t easy.

Anyone with any experience of this?

Same here op, Christmas is hard. You're not alone. As another poster said make sure you have your own traditions and keep socially connected with firm friends as it can be isolating without family.

of course that doesnt make it any less sore. Maybe do (you tube has loads) selflove\care hypnosis. x

This time of year does bring it to the surface for me. It gets easier with time though and soon you will be able to think about them without the hurt.

I have needed to step away and NC from my only living relatives and I know it’s not going to be easy. Then again, I feel “lighter” in myself emotionally and as much as I will miss my sister, we grew up with severe abuse and frankly, I’m not putting myself through any more nonsense.

@BrokenFamilyTies I understand that you want them to reach out but if they did, nothing would be different in the family dynamic. I think you’re grieving for the “normal” upbringing, unconditional love and safety you never had. You can give that to yourself but you won’t get it from them 🌺